Wake Me Up When September Ends
by Shenandoah76209
Summary: Summer has come and passed The innocent can never last wake me up when September ends...as my memory rests but never forgets what I lost wake me up when September ends. Wolverine picks up Rogue in Laughlin City but that's only the beginning. AU from the movie and comics. Separated before they can discover what they are to each other, what will happen when the Wolverine returns?
1. 1 summer has come and passed

_**Wake Me Up When September Ends**_

_Chapter 1)_

There were always rumors in a school. This girl was flirting was flirting with her best friend's crush. That boy was secretly into someone besides his girlfriend. This teacher looked a little too long at the girls when they were in phys ed. That teacher was having a relationship with another teacher.

Rumors were like blood in the veins. They never stopped. The chatter, the whispers, and the sideways looks. It had gotten so he could sniff out the gossip. The way girls would gather in corners, the way the boys would clump into groups, the sly looks over shoulders, the lascivious stares and the object of attention uncomfortably obvious to everyone.

He'd known since he brought her here five years ago that the girls didn't like Rogue. He'd known that the boys liked her too much. He'd been around long enough to know that was why the girls didn't like his girl.

Rogue didn't seem to care what the other students thought. She studied, trained and went about her personal business without bothering anyone else. Now and then she came down to the kitchen or the rec room at night and joined him, popping open a beer. They'd talk about inconsequential things, music and books, and sometimes about experiences they'd shared.

His memories came to him in dreams and flashbacks, bloody steel, bubbling tanks, scalding metal and screams. Hers were always in her mind, ready to sneak out, cold white rooms, lab coats, metal instruments and rough hands. The two of them could always count on the other to know when the memories were getting tough to deal with. Of all the mutants in the school, very few of them had spent time in the labs.

Rogue had left home and gotten scooped up in a police raid on a squat in Chicago. Cops being what they were they'd gotten a couple of jolts before they realized she was a mutant and shouldn't be touched. She'd gotten passed to a government agency and then to a lab. And after an indeterminate amount of time she'd escaped.

He'd picked her up in Canada, too thin for her age, with a racking cough he'd quickly figured out was pneumonia to judge by the fluid he heard in her lungs. When she'd flinched from his touch he'd figured it was his claws. She'd been quick to disabuse him of that notion.

"Don't wanna hurt you," She'd told him. Her voice had the sweetness of magnolia even through the illness roughening the sound. "My skin's dangerous."

He'd nodded his understanding. In the long drive back to Xavier's they'd exchanged stories. It was the first time he'd talked with anyone besides the Professor about his past, his abilities and the few memories he had. And the fact that she wanted to protect him from her skin... anyone wanting to protect him was a rarity. And the sympathy in her voice when she'd asked about his claws had the Wolverine ready to howl his claim to the world.

The school had been an adjustment. He was a teacher, of sorts, and too much 'fraternization' was frowned upon. But he'd flat out told Xavier that Rogue was his responsibility. If there were any problems he wanted to know. Xavier had nodded in that inscrutable manner of his and suggested he give the girl a tour of the school.

That had been more than five years ago now. But he could remember watching Rogue from the doorway of the room she shared and wondering how she'd do with the other students in the school. She was older than most of them and she'd been through a lot more.

* * *

Rogue could only recall being so vividly uncomfortable in a situation a few times before. The labs didn't count, not to her mind, since they weren't supposed to be homey. But she didn't like being the center of attention and the minute Logan had brought her to the school she'd been under one form of scrutiny or another.

Case in point, her new roommate.

She'd barely had time to take in the room. It was a barrage to the senses, messy and bright. Clothing was tossed everywhere, posters hung on the walls and everything was festooned with jewelry or shoes. She hadn't even been able to find the second bed until her eyes had adjusted to the mess.

"Oh yeah." The voice had the pronunciation of someone chewing gun. "I'll clear off the second bed for you." A black haired girl in a bright yellow oversized shirt pushed past Rogue into the room. Rogue stayed in the doorway as the girl unceremoniously pushed her things to the floor.

"That all you got?" The mutant who had yet to introduce herself nodded at Rogue's duffle. When Rogue nodded silently the girl grinned. "Probably just as well, I got a lotta clothes. But I'll figure a way to make some space."

"Anythin' under the bed?" Rogue asked. Her accent surprised the other girl, had her head jerking around.

"Whoa, you're like, a long way from home." The girl snapped her gum noisily. "Oh, no, nothin' under the bed that I know of."

"Just need one drawer in the bureau then, and a foot of closet space." Rogue stated quietly. "But you'll have to keep the floor near my bed cleared."

"Why's that?" The girl didn't appear too interested in the answer. She was busily going through the things she'd pulled off Rogue's bed.

"Because I'll get some slidin' drawers for under my bed. They won't work if I don't have anywhere to pull 'em out." Rogue entered the room finally and set her duffle on her bed. She pulled the coverlet and sheets back and wrinkled her nose. It smelled like old clothes, and obviously hadn't been aired out in a while. "Where's the linen closet?"

"Down the hall on the right. Five panel door with a copper knob." Yellow girl was now pushing everything on the floor away from Rogue's bed.

Rogue nodded and moved purposefully down the hall. She found the laundry room before the linen closet but finally she returned armed with an extra blanket, clean sheets and some old boxes that would do in lieu of the sliding drawers.

Her roommate still hadn't introduced herself. Rogue shrugged and began to strip the bed. She'd completely remade it, nodding in satisfaction when she found she could bounce a penny off the sheets.

"What were you a military brat or somethin'?" The other girl asked incredulously. "They're the only ones I know who can do that."

"No," Rogue shook her head and sat down on the bed one hand on her duffle. She looked at the girl who was so involved in her clothing. "You?"

"No," The girl laughed. "I'm Jubilation Lee. But around here people call me Jubilee." She finally introduced herself.

"Rogue." She nodded politely. "Never had a roommate before."

"Guess you never went to boarding school then," Jubilee chuckled at some inner joke. "So what'd you do to get sent here?" When Rogue simply looked at her quizzically the yellow clad girl elaborated. "I mean what's your power? It's all mutants all the time here so we've all got something we can do."

Rogue looked down at her hands, still covered in the battered old leather gloves. Her chest still ached from what Doctor Grey said was pneumonia and she felt exhausted all the time. Logan had been hovering over her for the week she'd spent in the infirmary. He'd wanted to keep her there another week but Doctor Grey had said Rogue could rest in a dorm as well as the infirmary and Doctor McCoy had backed her up.

"Look," Jubilee drew her gaze. The girl held up her hand and sent splatters of light out of her fingers. "See? This is what I can do. Get's outa control when I get upset you know? Fried my parents stereo system and the TV once. Blew every fuse in the house another time." She sounded more amused than upset. "So what happened with you?"

"I put a boy in a coma," Rogue said quietly. She really didn't want to talk about this. No one was ever the same with her after they learned about her skin. Logan had been but she was quickly coming to understand that Logan was one in a million.

"Shit," Jubilee blinked. "How'd you do that?"

Rogue took a deep breath and pushed off her coat finally. The moments she took to hang it up and place her gloves in the pockets gave her time to determine how she would answer. She reached into her bag and fished out another pair of gloves, soft suede that let her grip things. Before she could answer her roommate or put the gloves on a girl walked through the wall behind her.

The stranger continued through the bed and nearly through Rogue before detouring around her. She blinked in surprise at the new girl and grabbed Rogue's unfortunately bare hand in greeting. She stiffened in shock and then gasped in pain as the draw of the girl's mutation started.

"Shit," Rogue jumped back pulling her hand free. She fought the mutation for a moment as she nearly fell through her bed and found her balance again. "Shit," she breathed out as she got the new girl's memories and talent under control. Her name was Katherine Pryde but everyone called her Kitty or Shadowcat.

"What the hell happened?" Jubilee wanted to know.

Rogue pushed herself into a standing position and pulled on the gloves. Every other part of her was covered except her face and neck. Logan had bought her a couple of teeshirts and a few pairs of pants to augment what she owned. Now she paired the short sleeve shirts with longer ones under them. She'd caught the gleam in his eye that said he appreciated how the shirts accentuated her figure but that was all right with her. At least he was honest about it.

"That was how I put a normal boy into a coma," Rogue explained quietly. "With humans, I draw in their energy. With mutants, I get their powers. For a while." She added the not entirely truthful addendum. "It's my skin."

"Poison skin?" Jubilee helped Kitty up off the floor.

"I suppose," Rogue shrugged and pushed her hair back.

"None of the team went on a pickup run," Kitty remarked. "How'd you get here?"

"Hitchhiking in Canada," Rogue slipped her hand into her duffle and palmed her knives. "Logan picked me up. Brought me here. Been here a while. Down in the infirmary." She tucked the knives into her pockets. Logan had argued about her carrying them until she proved she knew how to use them. The labs had been an education in more ways than one. She couldn't carry them openly but the five inch folding knives fit in her pockets and would do in a pinch.

"I'll bet the Wolverine picked you up," Jubilee looked her up and down.

Rogue sighed. It was always the same. That tone of voice meant to put Rogue in her place. Doctor Grey had hints of it when she'd spoken to her. Jubilee was doing more than hint. Kitty looked as if she'd swallowed a bug.

"Hey kid," Logan stood in the doorway. "Got everything you need?"

"I'm fine." Rogue began to put her things into the flat boxes to go under the bed.

"That ain't an answer." He growled at her.

Rogue shook her head and didn't look at her roommate and the other girl. "Need to get a coupla slidin' drawers for under the bed. Keep my clothes there."

"C'mon, we'll head to the store. I need some parts of an engine anyway. And Chuck tells me you'll need books for your classes." The Wolverine was posturing a little now and it made her smile a bit. Logan was making himself responsible for her. He'd flat out told her he wanted to know if there were problems.

"Get her some more gloves," Kitty suggested in a chilly voice.

"Couldn't hurt," Rogue agreed softly. She didn't miss Logan's sharp eyes taking in Kitty's posture and Jubilee's sneer.

"Grab your coat then," Wolverine nodded. "You're gonna need a few things 'sides gloves." He looked her up and down and his approval was evident in his warm eyes. She couldn't help smiling in return and saw a flare of jealousy on Jubilee's face. If Logan saw it he didn't acknowledge it. But she knew.

This school was going to be the same as any other school. Teenage girls were the worst about people who were different. Mutants were still people. And people didn't like what they didn't understand. Mutant or not. She was what other mutants feared.

* * *

_Author's Note: So this isn't the first thing I've written for X-Men but it is the first I've posted. This is obviously AU in case you hadn't guessed. It's not so much plot driven as it is character driven so don't expect a ton of action. We'll have both Rogue and Wolverine's viewpoints, though they might not always be perfectly equal as far as length goes. The M rating is for lemons later on. And for some language. I hope you'll enjoy this. It's getting me back into writing mode which is good._

_To anyone who is waiting (patiently or impatiently) for Animals I apologize and thank you simultaneously. I'm really struggling with it for some reason but I do know where I want it to go. For some reason with the health issues I'm having my drive to get things done fades and I pick things up and put them down quickly. So I work on Animals and then I work on something else and I go back and forth trying to pick up momentum._

_To new readers, wow, thanks for coming by and I hope you enjoy this._


	2. 2 the innocent can never last

_Sidebar: I'm posting this early (like really early instead of my weekly schedule) because RCoots said I should. So all of you should read this, review and then go check out her stories. She's the special brand of awesome! _

* * *

_Chapter 2)_

The first inkling he'd gotten of Rogue's less that warm reception had been a week after their arrival. Rogue had a roommate who was her complete opposite. Loud where Rogue was quiet, brash where Rogue was polite and fashionable like a second job. Rogue hadn't showed any interest in clothing unless it could cover her up completely.

Whatever her name was Rogue's roommate had been snapping her gum and commenting, without pause or concern for volume, about Rogue and her weird penchant for covering up. Rumors had already been flying about Rogue's poison skin. Then she'd gotten a look at Rogue after his girl had gotten out of the showers and the gossip had started up about Rogue's scars. She had surgical marks and other rougher scars that were obviously from some type of torture.

He'd gone to his girl about it; asked if she wanted him to intervene, get a different teacher to say something. But Rogue had just rolled her eyes and said she'd been dealing with mouthy cheerleading bitches her entire life. Every school was the same. And then she'd laughed and told him that sooner or later someone else would catch their attention.

She'd been right, for a while. She'd hung out with him in her spare time, sitting on the concrete of the garage floor and handing him tools while he worked on the cars. They'd coasted along like that for at least a year or so. The Wolverine needed her nearby, needed to see she was safe. And Rogue seemed to need the same thing. The tension that rode her seemed to ease when she was around him.

Today he'd handed her a book and ask her to read something aloud for him. It was from his own collection and he was interested in seeing what his girl would find interesting enough to read.

"You really wanna hear this sugar?" Rogue bent down to look at him under the engine. "You've read all this before."

"Ain't heard you readin' it," he pointed out. "It's not like I'm fussy darlin'."

"As you wish," Rogue's voice held a smile. He nearly chuckled as she used that particular phrase. The movie selected for Saturday had been the Princess Bride. He heard her flipping through pages, pausing now and then as what was on the page captured her interest. Finally she cleared her throat and bent down to look at him. "Okay..."

"Go to darlin'," Logan smiled at her and waited as he continued his work.

"You never can tell when you send a word,  
Like an arrow shot from a bow  
By an archer blind, be it cruel or kind,  
Just where it may chance to go.  
It may pierce the breast of your dearest friend,  
Tipped with its poison or balm,  
To a stranger's heart in life's great mart,  
It may carry its pain or its calm."

Logan listened to her voice as Rogue continued to read the old verses and made a mental note to talk to Hank about his English Lit class. The way Rogue read the words she had a natural inclination for poetry. It sounded lyrical but almost as if she were speaking of normal things.

When she'd finished he set the screwdriver down and felt around for the wrench. "Hey kid, slide that wrench over to me would ya?" He pointed at the tool sitting by her feet. Her body didn't move but the wrench went sliding towards him with a tingle he felt in his adamantium covered bones. "Thanks." He grunted as he thought about that one. "Pick another. Like hearin' your voice."

"Hmm..." She made a vague sound of assent and more pages turned. The Wolverine rumbled approvingly in Logan's chest as Rogue's voice murmured a few lines and then pages turned again. Finally there was a long silence and he knew she'd found another that spoke to her.

"'Tis the human touch  
in this world that counts,  
The touch of your hand and mine,  
Which means far more  
to the fainting heart  
Than shelter and bread and wine.  
For shelter is gone  
when the night is o'er,  
And bread lasts only a day.  
But the touch of the hand  
And the sound of the voice  
Sing on in the soul always."

"Why'd you pick that one?" Logan asked as he worked a stubborn bolt loose carefully. Too much force would strip it and the nut as well and then he'd be stuck waiting on parts.

"Because it's true," Rogue's voice was quiet and a little sad. "It feels true."

"Well that's the beauty of words kid," Logan looked over at the garage door where he could see some of the other teens messing around on the lawn. "They're always open to interpretation." He slid out from under the truck engine and sat up. Taking the book out of her hand he ignored the greasy thumbprint he left on the cover and flipped the pages back to one he had particularly liked. "See? This one?" He pointed it out carefully and began to read it to her. His gruff voice wasn't suited for poetry but he'd do his best.

"You and I by this lamp with these  
Few books shut out the world. Our knees  
Touch almost in this little space.  
But I am glad. I see your face.  
The silences are long, but each  
Hears the other without speech.  
And in this simple scene there is  
The essence of all subtleties,  
The freedom from all fret and smart,  
The one sure sabbath of the heart."

He handed her the book and Rogue took it carefully. Her eyes scanned the second verse and looked at him in astonishment. "Logan..."

The Wolverine smiled before he lay back down on the skid and slid carefully back under the engine. "You just remember that kid." He told her in as gentle a voice as he had. "Beauty and peace inviolate."

She was quiet for a while, wordlessly giving him the tools he requested. He did his best to not disturb her thinking. Her scent was still delicious and sweet, no fear sending bitterness to his nose so he couldn't regret giving her some reassurance. Finally she asked if he wanted to hear something else.

"Yeah darlin'," Logan grinned up at the engine. "Look through there 'til you find one called 'Invictus'. Be curious to see what you make of that one."

It was a pretty good afternoon, all in all.

* * *

She didn't mind writing. It was actually something she was fairly good at. On paper she had the time to deliberate, to really think about what she wanted to say. Like email or letter writing, she was so much more polished and eloquent on paper. And since Logan had introduced her to some of his favorite books, a few of them inexplicably old fashioned she'd gotten a much better grasp of language. Far better than her accent would suggest.

But she didn't see why she had to read what she'd written in front of the entire class. Doctor McCoy was great in most ways but she really didn't see the point of this.

"Rogue," McCoy prompted her and she sighed.

"Yes sir," She stood up at her desk and pulled out her workbook.

"I believe the subject you were assigned was armor," The fuzzy blue teacher observed.

"Yes." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as the rest of the class turned to look at her. "Armor." Rogue thought of Logan, of what armor meant and nodded slowly. She hardly needed to read the words but the workbook was a shield of its own.

"Though set upon, and set against,  
I am shielded.  
Mine armor crafted fully  
'Gainst the slings and arrows  
Outrageous fate and hateful fortune  
May choose to throw.  
No smith I, but still  
It is of mine own making.  
My helm, to guard my thoughts,  
My tongue;  
Keep free my words.  
Breastplate bound with steel  
And tested time and again.  
Heart caged, and true,  
Unsullied.  
And gird my loins I,  
Though virtue has long  
Since been stolen.  
Girded and guarded I,  
'Gainst sword of iron or flesh.  
None shall touch me  
Encased in stone.  
Scarred, aye  
With my battles won  
But unbroken.  
Yet I breathe in  
The poison that fills the air.  
Miasma of whispers,  
The murmurs  
Of Serpent's tongues.  
Mist of sin  
Hissing of scandal.  
But this too  
I shall survive.  
My heart hidden,  
Triumphant,  
Within the tree  
Encircled by  
The dragon.  
And yet  
Not fully  
My own."

She closed the book and sat down entirely too cognizant of the stares she was receiving. The mutations were acting up again, as they always did when she felt threatened or uncomfortable. "I'm curious, class, did anyone notice anything about Rogue's work?" McCoy easily moved the attention from her personally to the work she'd done.

"Uh, it wasn't like, modern," John offered in a quiet voice. "Reminded me of Shakespeare, sorta."

"Very good," Doctor McCoy nodded. "Deliberate I think, with the twist of a line from Hamlet near the beginning." He pointed at Jubilee, "What else?"

"Well it's like she's talkin' about two different things." The girl snapped her gum as she thought.

"Armor as metaphor. Good," He pointed at one of the boys. "One more thing."

"Well...starts out like she's talkin' about one thing, and in the end, it's like something else. Like the...uhm...subject? Twisted." The boy stammered a bit.

"Yes, exactly," McCoy nodded. "We have a great use of metaphor to inform us that armor isn't just steel and plate. The language, while modern, evokes a different time while still being understandable to the modern reader. Borrowing from another writer in such an obvious way is a time honored tradition, going back to Marlowe and Sir Walter Raleigh."

"Come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove," Jubilee offered with a questioning look.

"If all the world and love were young, and truth in every shepherd's tongue, these pretty pleasures might me move to live with thee and be thy love." Rogue offered back.

"Well done," The large mutant known as Beast chuckled. "Marlowe gave the passionate plea but Raleigh's nymph was not so easily swayed."

Rogue sighed in relief as the discussion moved away from what she'd written to other assignments. But unfortunately she didn't get away that easily. "Rogue, will you stay a moment?" The genial teacher asked as she headed for the door, last out as always.

"Yes sir," Rogue nodded and stood before his desk.

"It's a very fine piece of work, evocative, impassioned but controlled," McCoy began.

"But?" She tilted her head when he looked at her quizzically. "In my experience compliments are usually followed by something to qualify them."

"I worry just a bit, regarding how you portrayed the school, towards the end." Kind eyes regarded her thoughtfully. "Are you so unhappy here?"

"Doctor McCoy, it's nothing I won't survive." She shrugged. "I mean, it's annoying, the whispers and rumors. Staying after with you means they'll be gossip tomorrow that I'm sleeping with you now, or with you and Logan both."

"And no one has said anything to them? None of the other teachers?" The genius in blue fur looked appalled.

"They don't pay attention to what the kids say unless it's something that sounds so terrible that they have to look into it. Not sure how gossip fits into Professor Xavier's ethics lessons." Rogue shrugged. Part of her wanted the other kids to get in trouble for their lies and the rest of her just wanted to be left alone. She hoped that Doctor McCoy wasn't going to say anything about the rest of her assignment.

"Ridiculous," McCoy groused. "What's Logan got to say about that?"

"He wanted to knock some heads together, regardless of gender, but I convinced him not to." She shook her head, "If he defends me the gossip'll just get worse." Her eyes rolled upwards, "I'm just glad that if it gets too bad I'm legally old enough to leave. I really wonder if I should just get my GED and find a job."

"No, that you won't do," the teacher told her firmly. "You missed a great deal on the road and in the labs. You deserve a good education and Logan and I are going to see to it that you get one. You have a gift Rogue. Learn to use it." He smiled slightly, "And I'm afraid the imitating Koschei the Deathless will do you no good. It only made Koschei immortal until his heart was found."

"Oh I know just where it is," Rogue grinned at him.

"Ah well, we're almost done with free verse. Time to move on to Shakespeare... Much Ado About Nothing." Beast told her with a smile.

"He lent it me a while, and I gave him use for it, a double heart for his single one," Rogue nodded.

"Sigh no more ladies, sigh no more, men were deceivers ever," McCoy chuckled. "And we're off." He exited the classroom as she did.

* * *

_Author's Note: So I've had some feedback about the summary which is deliberately vague as this isn't much of a plot-ish story. But I did put in a few more lines and also resaved the characters involved as they didn't come through when I first put the story up. And some feedback about the first chapter which goes back and forth in time. I added a little paragraph to the first part hoping that would clarify it a bit._

Poetry Sources:

You can never tell when you send a word Like an arrow shot from a bow... - You Can Never Tell- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

'Tis the human touch in this world that counts, The touch of your hand and mine... - The Human Touch - Spencer Michael Free

You and I by the lamp with these Few books shut out the world. - Together - Ludwig Lewisohn

Armor - deviantart/Armor-468632650?ga_submit_new=10%253A1405565852

Come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove - Passionate Shepherd To His Love - Christopher Marlowe

If all the world and love were young, and truth in every shepherd's tongue, these pretty pleasures might me move to live with thee and be thy love. - The Nymph's Reply To the Shepherd - Sir Walter Raleigh

Indeed, my lord, he lent it me awhile, and I gave him use for it, a double heart for his single one. - Much Ado About Nothing - William Shakespeare

Sigh no more ladies, sigh no more. Men were deceivers ever. - Much Ado About Nothing - William Shakespeare


	3. 3 wake me up when September ends

_Chapter 3)_

It wasn't in his plan to get called on the carpet by Xavier. Apparently good old Scott, supported of course by his loving fiancée Jean, thought he was spending too much time with Rogue. He'd come out of the office ready to kill the next person who looked at him cross eyed.

When he found Rogue in the library the first thing he'd said was that it wasn't her fault. And she'd known, in that intuitive way she had, that he wasn't going to be around for a while. She'd taken a deep breath and nodded. He could practically see the armor she'd worn on the road, in the lab, going back on.

He'd read what she'd written for her lit class. The images her words conjured were stark and painful in some ways. Hank had been worried about her state of mind, concerned that the gossip and rumors were eating at her spirit even as the classes educated her mind. He and Rogue had talked some about it, and she'd shrugged it off but now… He wondered just how Hank would deal with Rogue after he'd gone. How would the teachers manage to get through to her with that armor back on? Would she let them or would she just give up? Would she even stay to get the education she needed? He really hoped so.

"Can I...ask you a favor?" Her voice had gone softer than usual, uncertain of his response.

"Darlin' you know I'd pretty much do anything for you," Logan had surprised her but the shy happy smile he'd gotten was worth it.

"Can I touch ya? Once I mean? Not too long, don't wanna hurt you," Rogue had clarified quickly. "I just... I want your company, if you can't be around. I could have your shadow in my head."

"Fuck yes," The Wolverine wanted her to hang on and never let go. "You hang on until it's too much for you. I want you to have anythin' you need. Glad you'll get my healin'. Just wish..." He shook his head ruefully. "The nightmares ain't gonna be easy darlin'."

"Can't be any worse than mine." She'd shrugged and pulled off her glove. He'd taken her hand and laced her fingers through his, his free hand at the small of her back. Her mutation had kicked on after a moment and he felt the draw of her, her body taking him in. It was oddly intimate, to feel her shudder against him, gasp in shock and stare up into his eyes. Not for the first time he wished he could do the same thing for her. Give her a break from her mutation. As she pulled the Wolverine into her Logan felt the world go soft and quiet, his senses reverting to human normal.

"Damn." He breathed in surprise as she took a deep breath and carefully slid her fingers from his. She didn't pull away and he wrapped his arms around her and let her simply absorb the world around her. "You all right?"

"Wow." Her voice was awed, "Logan you really hear all this? All the time?" She inhaled against his chest. "And the scents. It's...almost overwhelming."

"You get used to it," Wolverine shrugged and enjoyed being just a man for a minute. The deep ache through his body reminded him that it was only his healing factor that kept the metal on his bones from sapping his not inconsiderable strength. "How'd you keep it from goin' too far? Your mutation?"

"Been practicin'," Rogue smiled up at him. "I can slow it down; maybe someday I'll get it to stop."

"I know you can do it. Hell if I can keep from poppin' claws every time someone pisses me off..." He chuckled. "You're a helluva lot smarter'n me darlin'."

"Liar." She'd called him on his bullshit. They'd had way too many talks for her to let him get away with his dumb animal act. He'd liked that she'd call him on it. No one else ever did except Xavier.

"Brat." He laughed into her hair. "I'm gonna miss you kid."

"Well when you get back I won't be a kid anymore will I?" She'd looked up at him thoughtfully. "You know I'm not one now right?"

"I know." He'd admitted that some time ago. She'd been fifteen or so when she'd left home. When he'd picked her up she'd been closer to eighteen. And damned if the Wolverine hadn't known instinctively that she was ready and ripe. She was untouchable to the man, at least until she gave him some sign of interest, but it wasn't because she was a child.

"You call me kid because it reminds the others that you don't cross the line." Rogue wasn't stupid and the deliberate way he called her kid in front of other people but darling when they were alone was a pretty strong indicator of his reasons.

"For all the good it did," Logan grumbled. "I don't know when they'll call me back in. Xavier's got a bee in his bonnet about you and me. I don't gotta leave for a week or so, so I'll be around for the big dance. I just...fuck! I hate to leave you."

"I'll be okay." She'd reassured him and took a deep breath as she pressed her face against his chest again. "Just don't forget to call or write, okay?"

"Tell you what, I'll pick up a couple a phones and we'll talk every week unless I'm workin'. Sound good?" He'd been rewarded with a bright gleam of joy in those deep green eyes.

* * *

She'd gotten her 'allowance'; the little stipend Xavier gave all the students who didn't have parents to send them money. It provided for clothing, extra books, whatever they needed. The only catch was that a teacher had to go along on the shopping trip.

Most of the other teachers had already been dragged to the mall in with groups of other students. Logan had flat out refused every kid who'd asked and told her that if she needed an escort he'd take her but he'd looked so pained as he said it she'd let him off the hook. Besides, it wasn't as if she could surprise him with a dress if he was standing right there when she bought it.

Thankfully no one seemed to like the other telepath in the mansion these days. Rogue knew that Emma Frost hadn't always been on the side of the X-Men but at least she didn't act like she was holier than thou.

When Rogue had approached her Emma had raised an eyebrow and asked why she hadn't gone with the other girls and Storm.

"Because I don't like the other girls, they don't like me, and I still make Storm uncomfortable," Rogue told her promptly.

"Ah, the 'poison skin'," Emma's smile had been dry. "Well if you and I touch accidentally I guarantee you won't enjoy the experience anymore than I will. Untrained telepathy is no joke."

"I know," Rogue shrugged when the blonde woman tilted her head. "You're not the only telepath I've met." In comparison to controlling the personalities in her mind dealing with a telepathic talent was fairly simple.

"That's right, Charles mentioned you had escaped a lab," the White Queen murmured. "Picked up a few tricks?"

Rogue let herself hover for a moment. "A few." She smiled secretively and the former Hellfire club queen smiled back.

So the shopping expedition had proven a lot more enjoyable. Emma was dryly sarcastic, witty and could be counted on to tell Rogue when she was veering from conservative to 'sack-like'. "Honestly dearest, you can be covered head to toe and still be sexy. It just has to accentuate you." The woman offered tugging the fabric tighter around Rogue's body.

"I've just been hidin' for so long, it ain't easy to show everything off all at once," Rogue admitted as she looked at the puritanical gown.

"Well let's look for something in a nice dark green, to match your eyes," the telepath suggested. "And we'll work from there. We could always have some alternations made."

"In a week?" Rogue shook her head.

"Tell you what darling," Emma drawled in her upper class Bostonian tones. "I'm sending a former student to Charles in a few months. She's a sweetheart but she's shy. You look out for her and I'll make sure you stop traffic in your dress." Her mouth quirked upward, "You'll have that man praying for any reason to come back to Westchester."

"He doesn't want to leave," Rogue said glumly. "Scott and Jean got the professor convinced Logan's 'up to no good'." She rolled her eyes and pulled a dress in a green so dark it was nearly black off the rack.

"Well they're not blind," Emma looked over the dress and nodded thoughtfully. "He does look at you like he wants to get on his knees and worship."

Rogue laughed, "I can't imagine Logan on his knees for anyone. I mean if ever a man personified 'Neither Collar Nor Crown' it's Logan."

That got Emma laughing, "Oh dear girl, you are woefully innocent in some ways aren't you?" She'd sent a wicked image to Rogue's mind of just how Logan wanted to be kneeling in front of the girl and laughed even harder when Rogue blushed pink.

"Oh my gawd," Rogue took a deep breath and pulled herself together. "Well I guess I ought to give him somethin' to think about then."

The White Queen chuckled appreciatively and took the dress. "I think this is a good start."

* * *

Professor Xavier had opened up the small ballroom for the dance. Rogue had blinked when Professor Wagner had told her that and asked if this was the small ballroom what was the big one like? He'd chuckled and told her it was three times the size.

Doctor McCoy had come up behind them and asked how the comparative religion classes were going. In German.

Rogue grinned and replied in the same language that they were going fairly well. Though the German classes were more interesting to her. "Danke."

"Rogue is doing very well." Professor Wagner smiled. "But she has admitted she cheats."

"One of the mutants I touched in the lab, he was German born," Rogue offered with a small grin. "I touched him and I got a blast of his power and a lot of memories. And in our spare time he taught me German. I can still go to him, the shadow of him in my head, for a translation if I need to."

"Helpful." The elf like teleporter agreed. "Have you picked up any other languages?"

"Some French to augment what I learned when I was a kid," Rogue thought about it. "I think some Mandarin? Or Cantonese." She shrugged. "I'm still going through the memories. Not everyone is interested in sharing. Depends on the personality."

"And you don't have trouble with them...getting out of control?" McCoy wondered.

"Not after the first...year and a half in the lab," Rogue shook her head. "If I hadn't gotten them under control I wouldn't have escaped. But I learned to make sure everyone I absorbed knew it was my mind."

"Charles has a hard time reading her because of all the people in her head," Emma Frost came up to them with a cool smile. "Apparently to everyone but Rogue her mind is chaos." She took Rogue's gloved hands and held the girl's arms out to better admire the dress. "Oh yes... you could make him crawl tonight if you chose my dear."

Rogue shook her head, though she was pleased with the dress. It was a very dark green, almost black and clung to her like a second skin to her from her breasts to her hips. The skirt flowed out in layers of silk and floated in a froth of green around her ankles revealing the pretty black satin heels with emerald buckles. Dark green gauze began where the bodice ended and covered her arms and chest to her collar bone. The back dipped to the middle of her shoulder blades but was similarly covered in silken gauze.

It was actually a surprisingly comfortable dress. And it far exceeded the stipend she'd been given. Emma had decided that Rogue was going to have this dress and nothing had stood in her way. She'd produced her own credit card, shooed Rogue off to find shoes and picked up a pair of earrings and a comb for Rogue's hair.

Rogue's platinum streak was highlighted perfectly by the dark silver comb. It shone against her hair while the earrings gleamed against her skin.

"Thank you again, for coming shopping with me," Rogue smiled. "I'm going to miss you."

"Well then, you'll just have to keep some of me with you always dearest," Emma pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek and blinked in surprise as Rogue's skin absorbed her in an instant.

Rogue took a deep breath and ruthlessly fought down Emma's telepathy, getting it under control as the diamond skin glittered for a moment and then subsided. "Whew," She gave the White Queen a grin. "You're one tough lady."

"Thank you my dear," Emma sighed happily. "Even for a few moments, to not keep my mental walls up is a delight."

"Should last you at least an hour," Logan told her as he joined them. "My healing factor put me back to normal in about fifteen minutes. No healing factor...well you'll get a nice break from all the jabber or the shields."

Rogue whistled at him and watched as he almost blushed, "Damn sugar. You're gonna be fightin' the girls off you."

"Old man like me, doubt I'd have many takers," the Wolverine shook his head. He gave Emma a polite nod and regarded her white gown with a sigh. "Em would it kill ya to wear something with color? Blue? Or God forbid grey?."

"We all do what's expected," Emma chided him. "Except you of course. Everyone believed you'd show up in jeans or leather. Not a dress shirt, vest and slacks."

"Hell I even shined up my cowboy boots," Logan chuckled. "Tried a jacket. Felt like I was body armor. Couldn't move."

Rogue smiled and tilted her head to look at his boots. "They're real handsome sugar."

"And you look..." Logan was obviously hunting for words. "Like the best time of the night and the deepest part of the woods." He took her hand and held it in his for a moment. "You look beautiful darlin'." He said finally. "I don't have any other way to say it."

"She's all dressed up," McCoy commented. "You ought to dance with her Logan." Unspoken went the comment that he wouldn't be around to dance much in the future.

She took a deep breath and remembered their lessons and couldn't help hoping he would. The dress, the shoes, even her hair and makeup was for him, so he'd remember her this way. Looking like a woman.

The music playing wasn't quite a waltz but it was close. And when it changed into something slow and stately Rogue let herself be guided by his hands and body and simply moved with the music.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Doctor McCoy dancing with Storm. Emma was still speaking with Professor Wagner. Professor Xavier joined them and Rogue determinedly looked up at Logan.

"I wish you were stayin'," She confessed quietly.

"Hell darlin', so do I," He looked down at her. "But I'll dance with you. And I got those phones. Left one in your room in the pocket of your coat. We'll talk every week."

Rogue nodded. "You're leavin' after this aren't you." She realized painfully.

"I'm stayin' 'til they shut the place down," He nodded. "Spendin' the evenin' with you. I'm bein' punished for something we didn't do. May as well enjoy what we can."

"Feels like we're both being punished." She seconded. "You'll be careful right?"

"Careful as I can be," He nodded and pulled her a bit closer. The music changed and he wrinkled his nose before guiding her off the floor to some chairs near Emma and Kurt. "Let's catch our breath, talk a bit and we'll hit the floor again."

"Sounds good." Rogue was prepared to ignore every student in the room. She enjoyed talking with Logan and Emma better than Bobby or Jubilee anyway.

After a while John wandered over and asked her to dance. Logan gave him the once over and Rogue nodded. It was interesting to be in the arms of a shorter, less solid male. He didn't dance as well either but they did have fun talking about the merits of different science fiction movies.

John didn't try to steer her towards the other students afterwards either. He walked her back over to Logan and took a seat next to Professor Wagner. The two of them began to practice John's German and Logan arched an eyebrow at them. Emma chuckled and Rogue burst out giggling.

"Well you're a merry bunch," Doctor McCoy commented with Storm on his arm.

"They're just laughing at my German," John told him with a grimace. "And rightfully so."

"It takes practice," The German teacher offered. "Which is why we will continue. Hank will help us."

"I'll stick with English thanks," Ms. Monroe took a seat next to Beast and smiled at everyone impartially.

"What language did you learn from Logan, Rogue," Emma teased her younger friend.

"Some Canadian French and very bad English," Rogue laughed as Logan made a face at her. "I think I picked up more curses from him than I did more than two years in the lab."

"The women are gangin' up on me, time for a strategic retreat," Logan tugged Rogue out of her chair and onto the dance floor again.

* * *

_Author's Note: So here we are again. This is actually going on longer than I thought it would…I'm surprised. I thought it would be a little thing but it's grown and now it's almost novella length. (That's a hundred pages or more. Not a novel but not a short story either. Thank you college writing class for that differentiation.)_

_I hope you're enjoying it. We're going to be going back and forth a lot, and jump into the past and back to the present. I'll try to make it obvious but I hate the notes signifying POV so I won't use them. _


	4. 4 like my father's come to pass

_Chapter 4)_

Except for a few flying visits it had been more than three and a half years that Logan had been gone. Hank had kept him informed about Rogue's welfare, as had Kurt and Ro. He'd been back for Christmases and one summer visit that lasted a whole three days. The holidays had been hard. He'd never had Christmas before he'd come to the mansion and he'd been able to tell from Rogue's expression and scent that she wasn't comfortable with the huge celebrations either. They'd sat together at the table and when it came time for the gift exchange she'd refused to leave his side, sitting on the floor next to his legs.

Gift exchanges were just another excuse for popularity contests as far as he was concerned. The kids who had money made sure they gave each other presents. The ones who were low on funds but well liked received gifts and gave ones they'd created themselves, with or without the help of their mutation. The teachers were minutely better but Jean seemed to love flaunting the rubies Scott had given her even more when none of the other women received jewelry.

He'd decided that he wouldn't give Rogue gloves, not ever. He wasn't going to encourage her to cover up. Especially since that was all anyone else ever seemed to do. So he'd gotten her perfume, a scent that was based in oils and only required a drop or two. It melded with her body's scent into something delicious and spicy in his nose. He'd continued giving her that each year when she said how much she loved it. But he'd made sure to pick up little things to please her from all the places he'd traveled. A silk tunic in emerald green from China. A set of hair combs in ebony and pearl that he'd picked up in Mexico.

He'd known his girl wouldn't get gifts from the other kids, though the teachers would make certain that each of their students had a certain amount of presents. Everybody had their favorites and Rogue was his. He didn't see why he should have to hide that. So that first year he'd made sure that her presents were piled just as high as the other kids. Emma had sent Rogue gifts as well. Shoes that had the yellow fashion plate looking jealous and a pair of jeans that had somebody's name written on the back pocket.

The following years he'd had more fun picking things up for his girl. Beautifully tooled cowboy boots. A leather jacket he thought she'd like. And when he'd seen Emma in Boston she'd grinned at him in benign conspiracy and dragged him off shopping. That had been a day of pain but the following holiday had been worth it to see Rogue's face when she opened those boxes.

He'd given Rogue his tags before he left the night of that dance, pleased when she hung them around her neck immediately. A moment of lust had turned his eyes gold as the Wolverine took in just where the tags fell on her body. Her happy smile hadn't even faded at the sight. Instead she'd thrown herself into his arms in a tight hug. That hug would be his greeting every time he'd shown up since. A hug and a question, 'was he staying this time'. And every time he'd had to answer with disappointment.

They'd spoken every week but it wasn't the same as being in a room together sharing a meal or working on an engine. But it was the visits and phone calls that held him steady. Kept the Wolverine from rampaging through the world or through the Institute until he could have his girl for keeps.

But every time he was home, because wherever Rogue was that was home, Scott and Jean kept him under their eye. If not him then Rogue. They weren't left alone ever. Not even to talk in the rec room or to spar in the Danger Room. It seemed like there was always someone watching. If not Jean or Scott then someone who was completely innocent of ulterior motives but still… it was irritating.

He'd been coming closer and closer to telling Xavier to screw himself. What was the point of freedom if he couldn't even talk to the one person in the world who actually understood him? This need to be with her was like the Wolverine trying to claw his way out of him. Even the Wolverine understood it was more than sex. It was the one thing he and the damned animal agreed on. They'd made their peace with it a long time ago. She was part of them like no one else had ever been. And from a few things she'd said, he was pretty sure he and the Wolverine were part of Rogue too. But it didn't keep him from missing her. And it sure didn't help the Wolverine's temper any.

It had been worse because he'd had to miss that last Christmas. He'd asked Emma to bring her students and his gifts to the Institute when he'd figured out there was no way he could dig himself out of his cover in time. From Rogue's report on Christmas day the White Queen had taken a great deal of pleasure in rubbing her affluence in Jean's face. And she'd totally spoiled Rogue and her students with gifts. Rogue had been disappointed that he couldn't be there but she'd understood if he'd tried the entire mission he'd been on would be compromised. Because of that and other issues it had been nearly a year and a half since he'd seen her. Over three and a half years since he'd been forced out. He could give the number of days without even thinking if asked. Not that anyone did.

Finally Xavier had called him back. And he'd walked into a school buzzing with gossip.

Rogue was working apparently, out with the team and considered a valuable member of it. He was trying to get his head around that. The quiet girl who'd rather read than sleep slicked up in black leather and flying in to save the day. That quiet hid a pretty strong spine and she hadn't gone nuts in the lab or afterwards taking in his memories and mutation or Emma's for that matter. So it wasn't as improbable as it first seemed. But it would take some getting used to. He was finally back but she wasn't there to greet him. He half smiled, at least she'd be surprised.

So here he was back at the Institute, wandering around, listening to the gossip, some of it concerning him, some about his girl. Most of it was spoken with malicious intent but not worth worrying over. The group of boys though, they had gotten his attention, clustered in the corner of the basketball court. They were talking about a girl, someone they considered promiscuous, going on about how 'good' she was, tight and hot.

"Yeah she's a sure thing, you just gotta follow her rules when you hook up," One of the boys said with a smirk in his voice. Logan leaned against a tree and stuck a cigar in his mouth, lighting up and looking for all the world as if the kids were out of earshot. Maybe they were to anyone without his senses.

"She doesn't seem like that though," Another kid objected mildly. "I know you said she's been around. But she's..."

"It's not that she ain't nice." A boy Logan recognized as Pyro explained. "She is." His tone hardened, "I'd better not hear anyone say different. Or I'll light you up. Wanting sex isn't a crime. No matter what Professor Summers tries to tell you." His muttered, "Fucking hypocrite," clearly wasn't meant to be heard by the others and from their lack of reactions it wasn't. Logan nearly chuckled aloud when he heard that. He wasn't the only one who had a problem with Scooter.

"She's got needs. And after a fight, she wants company. You hang out with her; you get what you want too." The first kid, a blond with a cocky attitude and a lascivious tone elaborated. "You just can't break her rules. Or it won't happen."

"Wouldn't want to upset her…" The kid was reasoning out. "Even if she doesn't go for me… So what are the rules?" The second kid asked and Logan could hear his frown. "Should we be talking about this? Seems kinda…rude."

"Nobody can hear us or they'd have stopped us already. But you're right, even if it's because you don't want to hurt her feelings, it's not, strictly speakin', a polite thing to do." Saint-John looked over at Logan and gave him a slight nod but otherwise didn't give any indication that he'd noticed the newly returned teacher. "So Bobby had better lay off the loud talk or Professor Logan will hear. He's a feral you know."

"I've heard her talk about him sometimes." The second boy mused. "She'll be glad he's back. Maybe she won't want me to keep her company?"

"Nah, Professor X would kill him if he messed with a student. And technically she's still a student even if she is on the team." Bobby, the blond, shook his head. "So rules are she keeps her clothes on. That's number one."

"But she's so pretty. Why would-"

The boy was interrupted by Bobby before he could ask the question. "Her roommate says she's got bad scars. Plus, you know, there's the other issue." Logan was extremely conscious of three other boys nodding their agreement with Drake as if they too had been with the girl in question.

"No kissing." Allerdyce told him in quiet voice. His tone suggested he knew the reasons behind that rule and sympathized with them.

Drake seconded Pyro, and added, "She'll be up for any position so long as you use a condom and let her keep her clothes on. But she won't kiss you." Logan frowned and set his mind to determining who they were talking about. Someone on the team for sure. He could see Jean deciding to indulge in her wild side if she and Scott had broken up but she didn't have scars that he knew of. Ororo would never sleep with a student. Unless Xavier had gotten some new teachers/team members.

"Third rule is you gotta hold her afterwards," Bobby told the kid. "You gotta let her breathe and hold her, you know, cuddle her. For at least twenty minutes. Sometimes she'll even let you go again."

"But-" The second kid shook his head. "I don't get it." He looked at Allerdyce instead of Drake. "She's nice and she's pretty. She's not going to want anything to do with me."

"Rogue's a woman just like every other female on the team," Allerdyce told him quietly. "She's only a little older than the rest of us. She just got behind in school when she left home. An' nobody oughta blame her for wanting some comfort. She's entitled to do what she wants the same as the rest of them. Long as it doesn't hurt anybody."

"And let's face it, it's not like she can have a real relationship." Drake was running his mouth again. "The scars are creepy but besides them? Who'd want a woman you can see naked but you can't touch? Who'd want to never touch skin to skin when you fuck?"

Logan heard the growl burst from his throat and walked forward, ready to stub out his cigar and show the little jackass just how worthless the ice dick was compared to Rogue. Before he reached the boys a tall very muscular kid moved towards the group. Saint-John straightened up slightly as did the younger boy. "The team is on the way back." The newcomer told them in a Russian accented voice. "I hope you have not been sitting around like gossipy old men, talking about a young lady."

"We've been talking but not about a lady," Bobby cracked and got chuckles from some of the other boys. Not Allerdyce or the younger kid Logan noticed. Those two seemed more irritated than anything.

"Rogue is a lady," The Russian gave a credible growl of his own. "She honored you with her company and you repay her with gossip, besmirching her good name."

"That's what it sounds like to me," Logan snarled as he reached the group. "Give me one reason I shouldn't take you down to the Danger Room and let the Wolverine out to hunt stupid boys." He looked at the other kids. "Because I only see two men here besides the Russian." He aimed a derogatory look at Bobby Drake and the others. "See Saint-John might be a little annoying but he does remember that being with a woman is a privilege. An honor. And the kid hasn't been anything but respectful. A little horn dog maybe but I can't really blame him. She's a helluva woman."

"It's not a privilege if everyone's been there before you," Bobby snickered. "Your innocent little princess has been screwing around on you for months." Logan narrowed his eyes at the little jackass. The ice prick seemed damned pleased that Rogue had seemingly betrayed Logan.

"Got it all wrong kid," Logan drawled. "She ain't mine 'til she says so." He nodded at the three more mature individuals.

"She'll probably hit the showers and go to her room," Allerdyce offered. "That's her usual routine these days."

"She'll be glad to see you," The kid who'd been getting prepped for his own personal 'mission' offered him a sunny smile. "I'm Jackal. That's Johnny."

"Yeah I know Saint-John," Wolverine nodded. "You and the Russian are new though. Just get in?"

"Several months ago." The Russian offered in his slow deliberate voice. "I am Piotr. Jack and I, and a few others, we are all from the same place. Miss Rogue has been working with us."

"Lab?" Logan frowned when the big kid nodded. "It gets better. I'd say easier but it never feels easy." He looked toward the house as the jet streaked towards the grounds. "I'd better get going."

"I'll walk with you," Johnny offered. "Need to talk to you."

"Suit yourself," Logan nodded and turned towards the mansion.

"I, uh," Saint-John sighed and looked at the feral mutant. "Okay first of all, it isn't as bad as Bobby made it sound. Rogue hasn't slept with everyone under the sun here. I think Bobby was pretty much it. The rest of the guys are just playing along because they want to be cool. And Bobby's bein' an ass."

"Then how do you know the rules?" Logan growled. He was trying his best to not tear out the boy's throat since it had been Rogue's choice to sleep with him but the Wolverine considered Rogue his. Anyone who touched her was going to be under the Wolverine's scrutiny.

"The way Drake was talking I couldn't help but know. With me she just wanted to be held." Allerdyce shrugged. "That was all I wanted too. I'm gay." He added as if it was an afterthought.

"Why would she..." Logan jerked his head back at Bobby. "With that?"

The younger man hesitated slightly and sighed, "I think…something happened when the team went out, Rogue was real…I'd say upset but she just gets more closed off instead of emotional. I think Bobby was sort of drinking. And Rogue…she's been lonely since you got sent…away," Johnny rolled his eyes. "Not exactly the ideal situation. I also know that after they slept together Bobby tried to act like she was his girlfriend and got shot down for it. She told him it was just sex and that if it was a big deal for her she wouldn't have slept with him."

Logan nearly choked on the laugh that rose in his throat. "Damn." He half grinned. "So you don't think she's slept with everyone that Drake says?"

Allerdyce blew a raspberry as he rolled his eyes. "If she did none of the guys would be getting any sleep. And she'd be bow legged. Plus at least three of the guys bragging have no idea what they're bragging about."

"Fuzzy on the details huh," Wolverine shook his head. "Well hopefully she'll tell me her reasons eventually." He looked at the kid. "So're they givin' you any trouble? About being gay?"

"Some," Saint-John shook his head. "I don't get how everyone can be all for mutant rights but they can't consider that being gay is just as impossible to change as being a mutant."

"Most people are idiots Pyro," Logan gave the kid the courtesy of his mutant name. "Being a mutant doesn't automatically make you open minded." He looked around the hallway they were in and started for the residential wing. "Sometimes it makes you worse."

"Yeah." The kid sighed, "I'm just waiting for someone to ask me if I've tried not being gay. As it it's a pair of pants I've decided to wear."

"Saw this guy once, funny guy. Black fella who's a comedian," Logan started. "He said if you're black and you compete, you're automatically gonna be better. Because being black makes you work harder, makes you prove yourself more. He said it's like a jogger tying weights around his ankles. Builds up your strength. Builds up your stamina."

"Makes sense, in a weird way," Saint-John shook his head.

"We're mutants kid," Logan chuckled. "Weird sense is the only kind we've got."

* * *

_Author's Note: So this is only from Logan's viewpoint but it pretty much accomplished what I wanted for this chapter. Still clicking right along. Hope you're all enjoying this._


	5. 5 seven years has gone so fast

_Chapter 5)_

_**Warning: This chapter involves alcohol, sex and generally inappropriate behavior. It might be triggery for anyone who has been sexually abused. I don't think it's too bad but I don't want to freak people out.**_

* * *

She was absolutely going to kill Bobby, Rogue thought to herself as she felt the Blackbird descend. Nobody could blame her for it. She was going to pound him flatter'n dead into the ground and then stomp on his pointy little head.

Firestar kept giving her worried looks and Rogue tried to give her friend a reassuring smile. Emma had been right, Angelica was a sweetheart. Right up until she fried you. It was pretty funny actually. When she'd arrived at the mansion Bobby'd tried to hit on her first thing and Firestar had lit up her palm and shoved the 'Iceman' away. "Fire and ice don't mix." The red headed woman had shrugged.

Pyro had thought she was awesome. Privately he'd chuckled to Rogue that if he was straight he'd be following Angelica around like a puppy. The two of them worked together, training, an awful lot. Pyro couldn't create fire but he had a lot of experience manipulating it. Between the two of them they'd come up with some pretty interesting ways to use Angelica's mutation.

A wave of satisfaction floated over Rogue and jerked her out of her thoughts. Jean was smiling smugly from across the aisle. Scott looked a bit uncomfortable beside her but the chilly redhead seemed to enjoy making everyone dance to her tune. Rogue took a deep breath and pushed her mental shields out with firm resolve. The sticky feeling of Jean's attitude faded and so did the telepath's smile.

Rogue looked toward the cockpit where Beast and Storm were expertly piloting the jet. At this rate they'd be back to the school in a half hour. Twenty minutes to shower and change into sweats and she could hide out in her room. She'd just lock the door and ignore Bobby and his caterwauling.

With an effort she restrained her irritated sigh. The situation was one she could have predicted had she been thinking with her brain. Sitting in the dark and thinking about everything that had gone wrong that day hadn't been time well spent. At the time though, she hadn't really been thinking straight. It had been a truly awful day. One she'd had no desire to relive but at the time she hadn't been able to stop.

It hadn't been the first time she'd killed someone. It wasn't even the second. Contrary to what the rest of the school seemed to believe her escape from the lab hadn't been bloodless. Nor had her stay there been without violence. It was one of the things she and Logan had in common. However much she respected the lives of others, she had no compunctions about killing in order to preserve her own life. At least if the person in question was trying to kill her.

That time...she'd killed and kept right on going, desperate to make her goal. Her uniform had been sticky with blood, and she'd still been too late. She'd gotten to her rally point in time. The plan should have gone without a hitch. But somehow, something had gone wrong. The guards had gotten twitchy, or tipped off, and they'd mercilessly executed five of the eight mutants they'd caught. Mutant's Rogue and the team had been trying to rescue.

The X-Men had gotten three out. But she couldn't forget the sight of the five bodies, blood still oozing across the concrete floor, knowing she'd been too late.

She'd scrubbed until the water in the shower ran clear. And then scrubbed some more to rid herself of that feeling. She'd gotten the comfort of a cold beer and sat in the rec room. Tried to remember Logan and what he'd taught her. It hadn't exactly been working but she'd tried.

His shadow in her head had been some comfort but she'd needed _him_. The strength of his arms around her, big hands stroking over her spine and the rich scent of his shirt in her nose. Logan always smelled a bit like the outdoors, cigar smoke and something heady like musk. Whatever it was, it was more comforting than memories of her mother's kitchen or the back porch and her father's cigarettes. Cradled in his arms, her face pressed to his chest, heart beat in her ears she felt profoundly content and absolutely loved.

It had been cold comfort to think she could call and hear his voice. It wouldn't be enough to soothe the misery rising like an angry spring inside her. All she'd wanted was to forget. To go away in her head and not think for a while. Escape all the pain of her failure and not feel anything. And then a method of doing just that had presented itself.

It could have been anyone. Bobby was just conveniently there. She would have fucked any of the number of guys who'd sniffed around her besides him. But he'd been there and he'd been drunk. She'd had the presence of mind to demand he not touch her skin, not see her naked and not kiss her. All he had to do was hold her afterwards.

He'd been all too eager to agree. And she'd lain on his bed and let him rut in her, let the pain and degradation of it send her back to the lab, to that space deep in her mind. The only place she'd ever found peace that wasn't in Logan's arms. Buried deep inside, where nothing could touch her. Safe and quiet. She'd needed that emptiness, that quiet dark space, to remember what she'd fought for so long and hard in the labs. Her freedom, her life, to do with as she wanted. Back then she'd been too feral a creature to even think about other mutants, about any cause.

Bobby'd been eager. His hands had moved over her body, touching all the places that should elicit desire but she hadn't felt anything but revulsion. When he'd finally pushed inside her the alcohol had made him clumsy but that only reminded her of the lab more strongly. The pain had made her cry out but he'd seemed to take it as passion not discomfort and she'd used it to go deeper into her mind. When he spilled into the condom his hips jerked, and he moaned, like a whine in the back of his throat before he collapsed half on top of her. His breath smelt of beer and tequila and she turned so he wasn't breathing in her face trying to further her own mental illusion.

She was still able to stay in that quiet place in her mind for a while, until his arm tightened possessively around her waist and his hand started to snake up to squeeze her breasts again. Rogue almost let him have another round, but suddenly those silent depths of her mind weren't enough anymore. She pushed his hand away and rolled out of his bed. The tights she'd worn under her skirt were twisted and stained but wearable, at least until she got to her room.

"Where you goin'?" Bobby had slurred and patted the bed in invitation.

"Go to sleep Bobby," Rogue had given him a look even he couldn't fail to interpret as disgusted. Or he might have if he wasn't half insensible with booze still.

She'd made it back to her room with no one the wiser, at least that night. She'd scrubbed at her skin and thrown out the tights, put the rest of her clothing in the laundry and sat down to think. What Logan would think of her behavior had her almost cringing. Wolverine in her head rumbled a growl of support, a reassurance that no one had the right to judge her. But it didn't make her feel any better. She hadn't done anything but hurt herself and Logan would hate that. The shadow of him in her mind tried to be comforting but he wasn't one to lie, even living in her brain. She couldn't do something like that again. No matter how much she needed to escape. Ten minutes in that silent room of her mind wasn't worth what it took to get there. The aftermath hurt too much, made her feel ashamed, dirty and stupid.

As she'd sat in her room, a quiet space unlike that closed room in her mind, Rogue had taken a deep breath and made a decision. The next time she considered behavior like that an option she'd think of Logan and what he'd want for her. He wouldn't begrudge her a tumble in the sheets with honest passion or need. But he'd hate that she was treating herself so badly, doing something she hated, just to escape.

She'd been avoiding everyone after Bobby had tried to lay claim to her. She'd shot him down ruthlessly much to Johnny's amusement. But she'd been so ashamed of herself that she'd refused to talk about it. Firestar and Pyro hadn't left her alone though. They'd badgered her and poked until she'd gotten annoyed enough to forget watching her tongue. It had been Angelica who'd gotten it out of her, why she'd done what she had with Bobby.

When Rogue had shot down Bobby's attempt to act possessive, like he was her boyfriend, 'Iceman' had retaliated by tanking her reputation. Such as it was. She knew that boys of all ages were stupid about sex, and wasn't entirely surprised that Bobby'd enlisted the aid of a few other teenagers in his 'master plan' to make Rogue crawl. Before long it seemed like every boy in the school was bragging about spending time on top of her boosting their reputations at the expense of hers.

Angelica had been furious and was ready to get Johnny and light Bobby's ass up. Pyro was all too eager to live up to his name. When she'd told them not to bother they'd really started to work on her. Xavier should have put them on interrogations not combat. Between the two of them they'd poked at her until she'd told them it was her own fault. "I shoulda known. It was a stupid thing to do. But I wasn't thinkin'." She'd admitted finally.

"Honey you're allowed to have sex and blow off some steam. After a day like that, I'd want to just forget everything and feel anything but lousy," Firestar had tried to comfort her.

"Angel, I didn't fuck him to feel better. I fucked him so I wouldn't feel anything." Rogue blasted the words out. "I used him to ignore my body and my emotions and everything that makes me who I am. He fucked me and used me but I was doing the same thing. I just didn't want what he did."

"But..." John had stared in shock and then looked at Angelica before meeting Rogue's gaze once again. "Didn't it..."

"That couldn't have been comfortable," Angelica said flatly.

"Didn't have to be. That's the point," Rogue pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. "Sex...it's just a tool. Something every guy wants. Something every girl holds out of reach." She snorted bitterly. "Except I wasn't ever given a choice. I learned control. I learned to just ignore the body, ignore what they were doing to me and go away in my head and feel nothing. And that was all I wanted that night. To feel nothing." She took a deep breath, "It was wrong to do it. But I couldn't think of any other way to... to stop all the pain."

"Like addicts, they don't get high to feel good. They get high to not feel bad," Pyro offered slowly.

"Never heard that before but it sounds right," Rogue sighed. "I wanted to... I just wanted to be held you know? I wanted Logan. But he's not here and his voice... he'd have known something was wrong and it woulda just torn him up that he couldn't help me. Hearing him... might make me feel better but it'd make him worse. And I promised myself I wouldn't make this harder for him."

"Rogue...you know… if you need..." John's face was red with chagrin. "If you just want to be held...you can always ask me." He shrugged elaborately casual in his motions. "You're not my type. But I'll admit there are times I could really just use some company."

Angelica smiled, "Johnny it really is too bad you're not straight." She nudged him with her shoulder.

"Too bad for you maybe," He polished his knuckles on his shirt drawing a half smile out of Rogue. "But somewhere out there is a man who is just aching for a hunk of burnin' love."

"Maybe he'll play for my team," Firestar suggested wickedly.

Rogue had laughed, which had been their intent, and they'd gone into dinner together. She'd stopped sitting with the team for the most part because Jean was prone to making remarks that seemed neutral but addressed something she'd heard in Logan's mind. Things that Rogue knew from her shadow version of the Wolverine. After a while she hadn't been able to stand it anymore. The idea of the redhead invading the privacy of Logan's mind whenever she damn well pleased had been sickening.

When Bobby had first started fueling the gossip about Rogue it had only been among the students. But Jean, being who she was, quickly caught on to the rumors. Then it was simply a matter of time and the telepath was either projecting her snide remarks into Rogue's head or making pseudo sympathetic comments aloud. When Rogue had tightened up her mental shields the mental projections had stopped but the comments had gotten worse.

Four months later and the rumors had only increased in their lascivious nature. Three months ago they'd liberated a half dozen mutants from a FOH base. The kids had been of varying ages but the oldest was a quietly powerful Russian named Piotr. He'd heard the rumors once they'd all returned to the school but he hadn't behaved any differently towards her. None of the kids had. Apparently whatever Bobby and the others said, nothing could sway them against the woman who'd flown through walls of fire, beat down a steel door and taken out the remaining guards before anything could be done to the prisoners.

She'd offered to sit for Piotr if she wasn't too tired out when they got back. The gentle Russian was an artist and liked nothing more than to sketch the faces around the mansion. He was making a collection of the team, a gift for the Professor. He treated her kindly and asked her on a date about a month ago, dinner and a movie. For a moment she'd been tempted. He was kind and handsome and the animalistic part of her woken by the Wolverine had found him attractive. But it wouldn't be fair to date him when she knew he wasn't the man she wanted.

It was funny actually, before she'd touched and absorbed Logan and Wolverine she'd been fairly convinced that she'd never have any inclination to endure much less enjoy a sexual relationship with a man, or a woman for that matter. But having the human animal inside her woken by the feral mutation had forced her to face that side of her nature. And she'd had to face the fact that she wasn't interested in any of the men currently at the Institute.

Rogue took a deep breath as she mentally calculated their flight progress. Almost there. She looked towards the cockpit again to confirm her supposition and rotated her neck hearing it crack as her muscles eased slightly. "God I want a shower. Or better, a hot bath." She muttered to Firestar.

"Hmm..." Her friend agreed. "As hot as I can get the water to go."

"Honeysuckle bath oils," Rogue nodded. She had a few left from Logan's Christmas gift.

"What all alone?" Jean's smile was nasty for all her teasing tone. "Why waste an opportunity Rogue? There must be someone left to tempt you."

"I don't find anyone at the school tempting," Rogue said flatly. "And you know it."

Her refusal to play Jean's game of cutthroat polite chit chat with a side of not so veiled innuendo infuriated the cold red head. "And apparently no one outside the school thinks you're worth a return trip." The older woman sniped.

Rogue was saved from growling her own retort along with the shadow of the Wolverine in her mind by the jet coming in for a landing. They'd barely put wheels to the ground before she used one of her absorbed talents and pushed the door open. Beast's irritated growl of her name got a half wave of apology before she drew on another talent and flew out the doors. Flying came as easy as breathing these days.

And damned if she was going to give that skinny bitch the chance to sniff with false sympathy over her scars. A quick shower to get rid of the grime, a set of sweats and she was headed up to her room and her tub.

* * *

_Author's Note: So before anyone starts screaming... no that was not healthy behavior on Rogue's part. No this is not going to be a habit of hers. But this chapter, specifically the idea of Rogue having sex with Bobby, not as an outlet but as an escape, is what started the entire idea for the story._

_Yeah, it's a pretty triggery and, as it stands, not great jumping off point. But quite frankly I don't see the point of only writing about 'pretty' or 'sympathetic' bad behavior. Abuse survivors have occasional relapses. It's part of survival. The point is to pick yourself up and move on to healthier behavior. And what's healthy for one survivor isn't healthy for another. We're all unique after all. _


	6. 6 wake me up when September ends

_Chapter 6)_

He'd beat Rogue to her room. She'd been moved out of the wing with the younger students to the third floor. It wasn't a bad move, the room was hers and hers alone. And the kids on the third floor were all college age like she was. He'd found it unerringly by following her scent to where it was strongest. And he considered the Wolverine's suggestion that he pop the lock and wait inside where he could breathe in her scent. It was damn tempting when he remembered how starved he'd felt for her touch and company the first year he'd been gone. It had taken him all that time to accustom himself to her absence from his life. Xavier had no idea how much he'd risked when he'd sent Logan away.

For the first six months he'd been debating the merits of going back, grabbing Rogue and just getting back on the fight circuit. The Wolverine had been going crazy without her. Giving up the hero gig was harder than he'd originally thought. Every time he considered it he remembered his girl, emaciated and ill, on the run from the labs. Would she ever forgive him, or herself for causing it, if he gave up helping other mutants? Would he be able to live with himself, with the idea of other innocent kids out there, on the run, homeless like she had been, because they were mutants? So he'd toughed it out. Their weekly phone calls had kept him from doing anything stupid.

Now he wondered if he should have told Xavier to screw himself. He could have come back earlier. That last job had been busywork. And if Rogue had said anything that indicated she needed him here? There would have been tire tracks scorching from Oregon to New York.

Had she been suffering just as much? Had she been just as careful with her words? He'd been so cautious; not even hinting that he'd come back at a word from her. Had she been doing the same? He'd been trying to make the separation easier on her. Had he just made things worse by not telling her that she mattered more than any dictate of Xavier's?

He let his head fall with a thump against the wood paneled wall and sighed. It was too late to change the past. All he could do was keep his mistakes in mind for the future. His fists clenched instinctively as he thought of Bobby Drake's smug little face, young and smooth and good looking in the way that twenty something girls liked. The kid wasn't scarred or weathered by God only knew how many years. He didn't have blood on his hands or claws that sprouted from his knuckles. And he was educated, not some old cage fighter who couldn't remember his birthdate.

Rogue's scent, fresh with warm water and soft cotton reached his nose and pulled him out of his thoughts. She came up the stairs and down the hall and it only took her a moment to blink and then catch her breath in surprise. "Logan."

That smile, like burst of joy over her face, pretty mouth curved upward just for him, just about drove the breath out of him. She ran the last fifteen feet towards him and he was happy to catch her in his arms when she launched herself at his body. God it felt so fucking good to hold her. His girl, his sweet soft, steely girl.

"You're back," Rogue was taking deep sobbing breaths into his collar. "You're really back."

He felt the same, wanted nothing more than to wind his hand into her hair and pull her face back, press his mouth down to hers and take. God, he wanted to take her. He was turning before he realized it, pressing her body to the oak paneled wall and his body to hers. "My girl," Logan muttered roughly into her ear. "Darlin', I stayed away. But I can't anymore. If you don't…"

"C'mon," Rogue was tugging at him, using the talents she'd picked up before they'd met to move him towards her door. "Inside." She was breathing fast, her scent quickening sharply as her heart began to race. She was as strong as he was if she used those talents and it was just one more reason the Wolverine considered her his. Once in her room she maneuvered them towards her bed, and pulled him down onto the mattress next to her.

He was careful now, but he still couldn't stand to not touch her. The Wolverine pulled her into his arms and groaned his need into her hair. "I need you darlin'," Logan muttered as he tumbled her over her bed until he was pressing her down to the mattress. "I been waitin'...feels like decades but its damn near six years and I can't wait to feel you anymore."

Her soft sigh was sweet and her hands slid over his back, pulling him tighter to her body. Her thighs parted slightly under his weight, and his body went hot and tight and hard against her. "Logan." Her voice was a whisper of magnolias in his ears. "I missed you so much sugar."

"God baby," Wolverine was fighting him, wanting to just take her, his body grinding against hers. He let his hands tangle into her hair and concentrated on controlling the animal inside him. "I'm really tryin' to not fuck you into the mattress without so much as a kiss hello but you don't make it easy." She smelt so good, warm and sweet, no cloying hair stuff to itch at his nose. The feral felt her body melt into his as he pressed his mouth to her hair and shoulders, breathing her in. His girl, her perfect scent, water, cotton, and the remnants of the spicy perfume he'd given her eased the tightness he'd been carrying in his chest since he'd been forced to leave. It took long moments of slow deep breaths of her scent before he was calm again.

Finally he felt like he could actually talk to her and rolled again so that she was lying across his body. Part of him wondered if he'd pushed her too hard, too far. Had he frightened her? She seemed at ease, her body relaxed against his but Rogue was too important for him to fuck this up. Logan shifted and frowned. Was he doing the right thing? Worry wound his shoulders tight and Rogue slid off the top of him. She leaned against his side and looked up at his face but he couldn't fully enjoy her closeness. What if she didn't want him? He was no picnic to deal with day in and out. What if Bobby or one of the other boys was what she wanted?

"Logan," Rogue's beautiful eyes stared up at him and she touched his chin with a gloved finger. "You gotta tell me what you're thinkin'. The you in my head is at least three years out of date. I know what he wanted. But I don't know what you want now despite the way we're positioned."

"I…" He took a deep breath and decided he really had nothing to lose at this point. At least he'd know for sure. "I want you to be my girl, my woman." He forced himself to meet those gorgeous eyes. She'd told him once that they were brown before the lab got a hold of her. But it wasn't the color that mattered to him so much as the expression in them. "I want you to be mine darlin'. And I want you to know that I'm yours." He gave her a half smile. "Been yours since you asked if my claws hurt."

"You've been hearin' the gossip." Her soft mouth twisted slightly and he could smell the melancholy in her scent as she asked, "Have you been thinkin' and wantin' me all along or did it just start when you got back and heard the rumors?"

He couldn't bullshit her, himself maybe, but not her. "Wanted you since you got in my truck. Wanted you when I left. Why'd you think Chuck threw me into the field? Finally got back and heard you'd been with that…little prick. Like gettin' Sabretooth's fist in my face. Only good thing about it was maybe it meant you were ready for me if you'd had sex with him."

"Sugar." She looked hesitant but plowed ahead. "I had sex with him for...all the wrong reasons. You'd been gone so long. And after you left…it was like the Wolverine woke me up, woke up the animal that's inside me. I didn't know when you were comin' back." She looked down at their joined hands, fingers threaded together, only her gloves keeping them apart as if surprised to see them. "I didn't care about sex. For the longest time it was just something to trade for better treatment or food. Or it was something for them to take. It wasn't me. It was just the body that everyone was so fascinated with touching or experimenting on. That's all it was with Bobby. He wanted to fuck. I wanted to be held."

"Did he know you didn't want it?" Logan growled the question as fury filled his bones. If that kid had pushed his girl into something she didn't want, just so that she could have some comfort…

"He was drunk," Rogue shrugged. "I was, upset, tired and just wanted to not feel anything. I used him to go away in my head. Sex was the price. That's all it was. He was the one who tried to make it more. So I told him off. And then Johnny told me that he wouldn't mind bunking with me when we both needed some comfort. Holdin' each other, it's the only ease I've had since you left."

Logan nodded and pushed the Wolverine back before he tugged her closer. "You said that's what sex was. What is it now darlin'?"

"It's like an appetite that's growin' stronger, the past year or so." She shrugged again and he couldn't take it anymore. He turned so they were lying face to face and wrapped his arms around her. When she was settled in his embrace that magnolia voice continued, "I...didn't know how to deal with that sort of hunger. I just...tried to ignore it. And finally I learnt to deal with it, after a fashion." He could smell her blush as it bloomed over her cheeks and guessed that ignoring it hadn't worked too well. What she meant by telling him all this... that was what he didn't quite get.

"Darlin' are you tellin' me yes or no?" He finally asked. Even trying to keep his voice and question gentle it sounded rough to him. "I won't lie. I want you bad. But I don't wanna hurt you or push you into satisfyin' that appetite with me until you're ready for it. Heard about your rules. Little shit was runnin' his mouth so fast I wanted to plow my fist into it."

"The rules are bullshit." Her giggle was amused and felt like feathers on his skin. Silky and gentle. "I didn't want to be naked in front of Bobby so I made them up. I didn't want to kiss him. I didn't want him touching my skin. I wasn't going to give him anything that mattered to me."

"What do you want?" He breathed in deeply, inhaled the scent of her slightly damp hair, mahogany and pearl tumbled over her shoulders in long waves of glory. "Just tell me."

"I gotta take the long way to tell you…it's all mixed together… I remembered some things," Rogue said slowly. "Things I'd buried. They called me Rogue there. When you gave me the Wolverine? You and the Wolverine in my head, you helped me remember." She looked up at him. "I had to work on it. It took me all of that first year to remember...to push myself to remember... But I did it. My name is Marie."

He tucked a strand of hair away from her face and smiled. It suited her. His pretty Marie. "Pretty name for a pretty woman." Logan told her. "But why do they all still call you Rogue then?"

"I used Emma's telepathy a few times on Scott and Jean, on a few of the others too, listening to the 'discussions' when they thought it was only the 'adults'," Rogue told him. "Found out what they were thinkin' about you and me. What Scott and Jean did. Convincing the others that you were keeping me close so you could make me yours. Keep me yours by controlling my safety. Makin' me dependent on you." She wrinkled her nose in disgust, "Like you'd ever want anyone like that."

"So you didn't tell 'em your name." Wolverine chuckled roughly into her hair. "What else you been hidin' from the rest of the school?" His girl was sneaky smart about showing her skills. He let people underestimate his intelligence. He was willing to bet she could do a lot more than she let on.

To his surprise she shifted and began to tug off her gloves. "They think I only just got a handle on how to use the mutations I've absorbed. That I've only just figured out how to bring them back. That was a year ago, and they put me on the team afterwards." Logan watched curiously as she tossed her gloves on the nightstand. It was a curious feeling, to ache so much for the touch of this woman. Before his girl he'd never wanted anyone with such single-mindedness. But all he wanted, all he could think of, was how those soft fingers had felt threading through his own, how silky her skin and gentle her touch had been.

She was smiling up at him, so sweet as she spoke with that magnolia voice, "I've known for a while. Was getting ready to tell them I could do more when they made you leave. So I made them wait. Damned if I was going to work with them when they'd sent you away from me. How could I trust them to watch my back?"

Her gaze flickered over his face, trying to read what he was thinking and he smiled slightly. "You know you're the only person I can remember who ever worried about me?" He remarked and let his palm slide up and down her spine. "Know how many nights I laid awake and remembered the feel of your hand against mine?" Logan held his hand up to hers, less than a quarter inch from her skin, "I've never been afraid of your skin darlin'. Only thing in the world I'm scared of is hurtin' you, scarin' you."

A single tear trickled down her cheek, the first he'd ever seen her shed and her palm pressed to his before gliding slowly up and down. "I figured out how to turn it off. I relax and just...let it float over me, and then it sinks back inside, under my skin instead of on it." She looked up at him with a half smile in spite of her tears, "I didn't tell them because you were the one who helped me. You were the one who thought I mattered. I'd rather have them afraid of my touch and avoid me. You're the..." Her breath hitched and she rubbed her knuckles against his jaw. "If they knew I was safe then they'd want to touch me. And you're the only one I want to do that. I don't care about the rest of the world. You're what matters. You're the one who helped me heal. You an' Hank...but I don't feel about him the way I do about you. I only want to be touchable to you."

"Aw darlin', you always have been," Logan pressed his mouth to her forehead and pulled her tighter against his body. "Hell I'd a happily taken a coma if it meant touchin' you for a while." He tugged his hand away from hers and cupped her face gently. "Now does this mean you'll be my girl? My woman? Because if you are, I'm done with separate rooms. Don't hafta have sex. But I need you with me."

"Sure sugar," Rogue's voice was soft and trembling but she didn't smell afraid. His arms banded around her as she shivered against him. "You got me for as long as you want me." She looked up at him, worry in her eyes. "I...don't know if it matters...but..." She looked down for a moment before meeting his eyes shyly. "It was stupid to...not. I mean I'm sorry that I-"

Logan interrupted before she could apologize for something that wasn't any of his business at the time. "Darlin', I don't have any say about what you do with your body. Not until you say I do. I can be pissed about that little prick all I want but...honestly feels like it's my own damn fault. I shoulda told you. Should have let you know that I wanted you to be mine. Instead of lettin' you just wait without a word." He sighed and pressed his lips to her forehead. "I was tryin' to make the time easier on us both. But the easy way never does go how I plan."

She wiggled against him and lifted her body up so she could look him in the eye. "I took the easy way out too. I should have toughed it out. Or told you I needed you here. Told you that the shadow you in my head helped just as much as therapy did. But I...made sure that there were some things..."

She pressed his hand to her cheek. "Saved a few things for you Logan. My skin. No one's ever seen it, or touched it, except you. And my mouth. Only guy I ever kissed got put in a coma. Figured you'd be the only one willing to risk a second try. So...I want you to be the only one to ever have my lips. Only one who'd want me. Only one I want."

"Darlin' you know me," Wolverine was coming out to play. "I'm not stupid enough to ever let you go." She was staring at him, waiting for him and Logan pulled her closer. She was still trembling, but he could feel and smell that it wasn't out of fear or shame. She was warm and pliant against his body and her mouth was full and ripe as a strawberry. He was just about to see if her lips tasted as sweet as they looked when someone pounded at the door.

"Hey Rogue." Bobby Drake's unwelcome voice sounded through the thick door. "Was thinkin' you might wanna hang out tonight?"

The girl in Logan's arms groaned. "Bobby I'm busy. And I made it perfectly clear that I was not interested," She called through the door.

"Aw c'mon woman, you gotta be starvin' for it by now. I heard about the fight. You know you're always tense after a dust up." Drake didn't know when to quit and Logan growled. The Wolverine was about ready to teach this kid a lesson.

"Chuck didn't give away my room did he?" He asked quietly and got a bewildered shake of his girl's head. Pretty little Marie, he grinned down at her. "Good. Why don't you take the scenic route while I get rid of the garbage in the hall." He nodded at her window and a mischievous gleam of understand lit her eyes. He didn't dare kiss her before he gently shifted her off his lap or he'd never have stopped.

One last caress of his palm over her soft hair and he took a deep breath. Outside the door he could hear Drake and another boy who was quieter and trying to reason with the idiot. Logan watched as Rogue slid her window open and slipped out of it. That was his cue to jerk open Rogue's door.

Whatever Drake was expecting it wasn't the Wolverine. He went slightly pale and took a half step back before he stopped himself. Logan smirked slightly and leaned forward with a growl. "Get something through your head kid. You ever talk to my girl that way again? I'll rip out your tongue and give her the rest of you to shred."

He took another step forward and the growl in his chest nearly erupted into a roar as the Wolverine came out to play. "And if you ever talk about my woman again, like you were today, I'll get a rusty spoon and make you more useless to female gender than you already are. I ever hear you be disrespectful to any woman, I'll just go talk to Storm and let her school you." He looked the whelp up and down and sneered before looking over at the other boy. "Now both of you go find something better to do than pace outside Rogue's bunk." The claws that snapped out sharply emphasized his point and the two took off at a pace just short of a run.

* * *

_Author's Note: So of course they had to get interrupted. Nothing's really been dealt with just yet and the 'adults' have yet to weigh in on the situation. Somehow I don't think anyone's nose is going to be welcome if they come poking into Rogue and Logan's business. _

_This thing is growing by leaps and bounds. I've actually gotten something labeled chapter 16... Should I be worried? I should probably be worried. But I'm going to just post this and go back to writing. Enjoy and thanks for all the reviews... of course I'd never say no to more... See that little spot below this? It looks suspiciously like a review window... OMG! It is! I guess you should put something in it. That sounds right doesn't it? Go on, I won't tell anyone._

_Thanks folks. I hope you'll continue to enjoy this and tell me what you think. I love hearing from all of you._


	7. 7 here comes the rain again

_Chapter 7)_

Rogue settled into Logan's chair and curled her legs up. It was a long held understanding between them that she was free to use his room as an escape hatch, to read his books, sleep in his bed or simply breathe in what remained of his scent. There had been times when sharing a room with Jubilee had been intolerable and not only because the constant noise and clutter made studying difficult.

She'd been remembering more these days, about the time before Logan had been forced to leave the mansion. Things she hadn't realized at the time now stood out with wonderful clarity. He'd worked with her, more than a simple teacher might have, to help her with what she needed in order to feel safe in her skin.

He'd enlisted Hank and Kurt and even Emma Frost in order to help her learn. He'd taught her about engines, and had been amused to learn she already knew how to hotwire a car, courtesy of thief who'd tried to get too close to her. But she'd learned woodcraft from him, how to survive in the woods along with ways to track someone that didn't depend on a feral mutation. She hadn't realized it entirely at the time, but every step she'd taken towards independence had brought a proud smile to his face. It made Jean and Scott's theories seem even more foolish. The Wolverine could never countenance a weak, frail, clinging woman as his mate.

No one had been more pleased than he to hear she'd passed some of the Danger Room trials. Even if it had been over the phone she'd heard it in his voice. He'd had a rough growl of satisfaction in his tones and not a week later she got a package in the mail with some new books on martial arts as well as journals to continue her writing.

She'd worked hard to learn. She'd begun using the absorbed mutations, the shadows in her mind, incorporating them into her fighting, changing her style to suit her opponent. It had taken time but she'd explored them all, out in the woods where no one would see or hear her. She'd opened herself to the shadow minds within her brain and learned, aggressively, almost obsessively. She'd taken Logan's example as a template. No matter what knocked him down he got back up. And he always learned from whatever had struck him. The healing and memories he'd given her had come in handy, along with the feral senses. She'd needed them more than once.

The day she'd unleashed her absorbed talents on her foes in the Danger Room had been a shock to the X-Men. It had been all she could do to keep from crowing about it to Logan but she'd wanted it to be a surprise. That hope had been shot down when Xavier mentioned in passing that Logan had been surprised but pleased for her that she'd made the team.

It had been her hope that if she joined the X-Men, proved she was capable and no one's to manipulate, that Logan would be called home. Instead a year had passed and the Wolverine was left out in the field. Phone calls and occasional letters were all she had of him. And Christmases, but he hadn't been able to come home last Christmas. It felt like punishment, for both of them. After she'd been made an X-Man and he still hadn't been called home she'd thought of leaving and going in search of him and not for the first time.

But she'd stayed because the one thing that had been uppermost in his mind when she'd touched him, absorbed him, was for her to learn. He wanted her to be better off when she left the school. Better off than he'd been when he'd started out after his escape from a lab. An education, a trade she could use, skills and talents honed sharp. She'd stayed and she'd learned everything she could. She'd shamelessly used the shadows in her mind to springboard her understanding of various subjects. She was doing what was best for her as a person, just as he'd wanted. She'd be strong enough, prepared enough, to stand on her own two feet when he came back. It was something of a comfort to her. That's how she'd gotten through the years. Hard work as distraction.

And time in his room. She could always feel him in her mind here, even more real than out in the woods. His scent was faded from the bedding but she'd kept the closet carefully shut so if she opened it his shirts still held the remnants of his scent. Sweat and cigar smoke and the forest clung to the flannel fabric like cologne.

The book he'd first had her read to him was easily found, his hand print in grease still marred the fabric cover. It was a tangible reminder of that day, a microcosm of the dichotomy that was Logan. A day spent working on engines and talking about poetry. She hadn't realized until later that he'd been figuring out her mind, her feelings and worries by what verses she'd chosen to read. But he'd talked too, about what he liked, how some of the poetry had made him feel. He'd known that in order for her to feel safe talking about such things that he'd need to open up about them too. He'd always known what to say, even if it was something crass, he'd just say it and then deal with her blushes.

When she'd retreated to the chair and opened the old book to read she understood why it felt thicker under her hand than it had in her memory. Logan had folded papers and slid them between the pages. Opening one at random she saw her own words staring back at her.

One at a time, carefully opening them and replacing the papers between the same pages, Rogue read the notes he'd made. 'Armor' had a comment slanting across the empty space, '_Can't blame her. Wish she felt safe enough with me that she didn't need it_.' Others had question marks near some lines, a few words of thought, his interest in her meaning, in some cases enjoyment of how her mind worked.

'Audeo' was the last. And she could remember writing it as if it were yesterday.

Listen to your elders child  
Listen well and hold your tongue  
Learn your place and keep your space  
And you'll need not be told for long.

Learn well your limits child  
Learn how far you may go  
Choose your mark and hide the spark  
In the heart of everything you know.

Make your choices wisely child  
Make your choices well  
Time knows no bounds and fate no ground  
And you've served your years in hell.

Listen well and hold your tongue  
No matter the time has passed.  
Listen to your counselors  
And those you dwell among.

Listen to the whispers  
And the 'can'ts' and 'shoulds' and 'don'ts'.  
Give them your attention child,  
The 'impossibles' and 'won'ts'.

Then, woman, make your choices  
Make them proud and stern and stand  
On ground you won and earned  
And hold time in your hands.

Hands out to the world  
Palms forward and without fear  
Earn your future woman  
And proudly face the years.

No one had understood the title except Hank. When he'd translated it for the class they still hadn't completely understood. She'd had to stand there and read it aloud, letting the words ring out in the final verses. The challenge to the world. I Dare. She'd met Hank's gaze and seen his pride, his pleasure in her work and how much she'd grown in her time at the Institute.

She wondered if Logan had realized that she'd written it for him. If he understood that she truly was learning to ignore everything her 'wise counselors' had to say about her, about him, and make her own decisions based on what she needed and what her heart wanted.

The Professor acted as if there was no hope of ever turning off her skin. He found it difficult to listen to her mind for long. He didn't treat her as if she was crippled. He was too 'enlightened' for that. Instead he behaved as if she was genderless. Ignored the fact that she was female and might want male companionship. It irritated her that in the years she'd been here he'd never addressed the possibility of working with her to manage her skin. She'd worked with Hank, experimenting, recalling what happened when her mutation was used.

Rogue shook her head. She'd known since that first day that if the Professor couldn't touch her mind that he wouldn't make more than a token attempt to help her. Xavier had nothing but respect for her abilities. That was something at least. But if he couldn't deal with the person mentally then it was as if he decided not to deal with the problem at all. He wasn't a bad person but he had a blind spot as big as Texas when it came to training. Maybe she was being unfair. It wasn't as if she'd spent a lot of time with Xavier. But he still irritated her.

If she was honest with herself, and there were times she had no choice about it, she could admit that a lot of her annoyance with the Professor stemmed from his decision to send Logan away. Now that Logan was back, and she didn't know how long that would last, she was still annoyed. But it was tempered with pleasure when she remembered how Logan had cradled her so close. He'd been desperate for her touch, empathy had showed her that much, his need for her had filled him until he'd had no choice but to hold her.

Rogue sighed and took a half moment to be grateful. Despite Xavier's, seeming, (and she added the qualifier grudgingly) indifference she had managed to control her skin. She'd believed for a long time that it was hopeless, infected by Xavier's attitude and she'd been somewhat resigned to the idea of her poison skin. At least she was protected. No one could hurt her. But no one could touch her either. No one wanted to, except Logan. And despite her fears, she knew his hands only intended comfort. Comfort she would never be able to give back to him if she couldn't control her mutation.

If the Wolverine hadn't woken her up before Logan had left she might not have minded so much. But to have Logan and Wolverine's shadows in her mind and know that if she didn't get her skin under control she'd never be able to touch him was almost painful. The hunger for his touch these past couple years had been beyond bearing at times. Ignoring the needs of her body had grown harder and harder until she'd finally succumbed.

She'd gone so far as to fly out over the estate and find a place private enough that no one could hear her. The woods were beautiful and the Wolverine could appreciate her surroundings. And she could listen to Logan's voice in her mind, the man and the Wolverine, both of them coaxing her satisfying her own hunger. She might have been untouchable but she was still a woman.

There were times she felt painfully alone and days, where just as frustratingly, it seemed as if she would never be alone again. She could hear Logan's voice, hear the Wolverine's growls of need but never feel their touch. Her memory could conjure the feel of his palm against hers but she needed the touch of his lips. The woods around her was a poor substitute for his scent. And she'd seen him shirtless but didn't know what his whiskers would feel like on her cheek or neck, or his chest under her palm.

Rogue sighed and squirmed a bit in the chair. Thinking of Logan's hands on her simply brought back the memories of his possessive hold when she'd thrown herself into his arms. She'd been waiting years. Almost as long as he'd been waiting for her.

But the wait was almost over.

* * *

She was in his room, waiting for him when he got to the teacher's wing. Unfortunately Scott was also waiting for him outside his door. Logan sighed and shook his head. Damned if he was going to hide his girl from anyone. If Scott found it so terrible that a woman past twenty was getting involved with a man whatever age Logan was then he could go cry to Xavier. Again.

"I'm busy Boy Scout," he unlocked his room and began to open the door. "Whadda ya want?"

"The Professor wants to see you about the last 'errand' you undertook for him." Scott followed him into the room and blinked to find the window still open and Rogue sitting in Logan's easy chair with a book. "Rogue what are you doing in here?"

"Waiting for Logan." Her tone was beyond reasonable if a bit chilly. "He told me I could."

"It's completely inappropriate," Summers pointed at the door. "You're a student and he's a teacher. You shouldn't be in his rooms."

"Right," Rogue set the book down and instead of moving towards the door she began to slip off her shoes. "I'm a student when it suits you. I'm an adult when you need me on the team. You can't have it both ways."

"She's a woman," Logan added pointedly. "Put up with you interfering once before. Now it's time for you to butt out." He folded his arms and leaned against the wall.

"I don't think so," Scott shook his head. "You see Logan, I'm responsible for her. I'm the one who watches out for her. Trailing the 'King of the Cage' is no place for her but you're too restless and selfish to figure that out. And when you leave again I'll still be here watching out for her." The Wolverine growled at the phrasing but it was Rogue's voice that calmed the feral.

"You watch out for me?" Rogue's voice was cold and diamond sharp. "Where were you when every girl at the school was gossiping about me? About my scars?" She stared at the clean cut teacher incredulously. "Where were you when the rumors were flying about me fucking Logan? Or you? Or when Bobby started running his mouth?" She advanced on the teacher and Logan grinned his pleasure. His woman was a sight when she was pissed.

"That was a student issue, it would have been wrong for me to interfere." Summers tried to justify his behavior.

"Or less than an hour ago when your fiancée decided to give me shit?" Rogue rolled her eyes and Logan made a mental note to school Jean some about what he would and would not tolerate. He'd known before he had to leave that Jean didn't like Rogue and at the time he'd been damned if he could figure out why. It had taken some distance and Jean's behavior during those flying return visits that he'd figured it out. The red headed telepath considered Rogue her competition for male attention. She was wrong and right about that, but mostly because the Wolverine never considered Jean as a woman to keep. And Jean wouldn't just screw him to blow off steam. She wanted men to pant after her, crawl some, and then be rewarded with sex or attention.

And say what you might about Logan's behavior with women, he didn't crawl. Being strung along had stopped being interesting after a few months. Teasing her had been amusing but when he'd found Rogue even the teasing had palled. The Wolverine recognized Rogue, Marie, as a woman who could handle him. A powerful woman who was still learning but would never fear the feral even at his worst. And Logan had gotten to know his girl, to know that she would delight in his protective nature but still be strong enough to have his back in a fight. Simply put, Rogue had no interest in taming the Wolverine, whereas that was all Jean wanted, a powerful creature bent to her whims.

The Wolverine would not kneel. At least not the way Jean wanted.

Scott stuttered something about not getting in the middle of 'women's business' and Logan tuned back into the conversation. "And regardless of how you and Jean get along, shacking up with Wolverine is hardly setting a good example for the other students. It's for your own good Rogue. You shouldn't be around him."

"I'm curious as to who said we were 'shacking up'," Logan growled. "Seein' as we ain't had a full hour to even talk." He'd asked her and she'd said yes but there hadn't been anyone around at the time—

He looked at Rogue who uttered a little growl of her own, "Jean's been snoopin' into Logan's mind again hasn't she?" The menace in her green eyes was palpable. "An' passin' the dirt onto you. What happened to all those ethics Professor X was teachin'? They just get thrown out the window when Jean's fuckin' curious?"

"Sometimes rules have to be broken in order to protect someone," Scott retorted. "You need to be protected from him. He's dangerous. Uncontrolled and violent."

"So'm I," She snarled. It was plain that Rogue wasn't having anything to do with Scott's justifications. "When Logan and I were hanging out in full view of the student body, in public places where anyone could walk in, did I really need protection then? I had over a dozen chaperones. But you and Jean went to Xavier and told him that Logan had an 'unhealthy' interest in me. And then you went to every other adult here and planted all those seeds about Logan being too attached. You said how it wasn't good for me to be 'so close' to such an older, uncivilized male. Who knew what I'd let him do to me? Hero worship is unhealthy right? I was too young to know how bad he was for me."

"It wasn't right. He's far too old for you. He's dangerous and you're too young to understand just how-"

"Bullshit." Her voice was pure southern fire now. "He doesn't age. It's been at least five years. Physically I'd bet that he's younger than you are Scott." She smirked, "And he's in better shape too." She slanted an approving glance at Logan who grinned back at her. "And when none of those fancy talks, all those discussions, did any good you lied. You and Jean. You cooked up a lie about seeing Logan with me, touchin' me in a way that I didn't think was bad but you knew was just preparation for him to do other things. As if he was a predator and I was some lamb he was takin' to slaughter."

Logan growled. He'd figured on the other crap but he hadn't known about the lie. "You did fuckin' what?" His claws slid out with controlled menace and he had the pleasure of seeing Scott go pale behind his visor. "I never touched her in any way that was sexual. Even when I knew she was old enough! She was- Jesus fuck!" He would never have touched her then, she'd been raped repeatedly. She'd still been healing. Even the Wolverine knew she needed comfort and protection, not sex.

They were drawing a crowd. Ororo and Hank had come out of their room while Kurt and Angelica's attention was caught from further down the hallway. Jean came from behind the elf-like man, her heels clicking on the wood floor while the Professor himself followed in his chair.

Rogue ignored the spectators and stared at Summers coldly. "How dare you? How dare you send away the one friend I had. The only person here who understood what I'd been though. The only man I felt safe with. But you still sent him away."

"The only man you felt safe with," Scott repeated. "That's wrong. You're safer with us than around him. And if he hadn't been grooming you to become his whore you would have adjusted a lot easier." Now the Wolverine was surging forward, the ugly words igniting his temper like nothing else. No one talked about his woman like that. Rogue's pale white gloved hand kept him back with a touch through the Wolverine was straining his control.

"You stupid sonofabitch," Rogue snarled the words. Her palm flat on his chest kept Logan from simply killing the other X-man. "If he'd wanted a whore he wouldn't have had to do anything to me. You think my skin kept me untouched in the labs? Maybe nobody ever saw me naked but every rapist made sure to have safe sex. Logan would never have touched me if I was afraid. The Wolverine might have wanted me but even he knew I needed time to heal. But none of you ever bothered to ask. Or to find out what I might need. Too used to the kids you found in the suburbs. Turning shit to ice or electrocuting stereo systems. The same twisted fucks who saw my scars and couldn't stop gossiping about me. The ones who decided that I must be sleeping with someone since I wasn't interested in any boy. It never occurred to you or them that a rape victim might not be interested in sex at all until she felt safe."

"What is this?" The Professor had finally reached them and was glaring at all three of them impartially.

"This is about Scott and Jean deciding that Logan and I shouldn't be allowed to have a relationship of any kind, let alone an adult relationship." Rogue told the bald man coldly. "And this is me telling him to go fuck himself."

"Logan do you plan to contribute to this…discussion?" Professor Xavier regarded the feral with a thoughtful gaze.

"Don't really see how I can add to what my woman's already said," Logan shrugged, tension still riding his shoulders. He was doing his best to keep his temper because Rogue didn't seem to want anyone dead but he was itchin' for a fight. "You got somethin' to say Chuck? Because I came back for her. Not the rest of you."

"I am concerned with what I've heard," Xavier admitted. "Perhaps we could have a quiet conversation? Without an audience?"

"Yeah," Logan nodded tightly. "If Rogue agrees, I guess that's possible." He glanced at his woman, his pretty Marie and felt a gentle wave of calm radiate from her palm over his chest. A slight smile tugged at her lips as she rubbed her fingers over his shirt and he felt the constriction in his muscles ease slightly. Not perfect but he was no longer in a complete killing mood.

Rogue nodded. "I just need to do something first." She walked into his room and he heard the tantalizing rustle of fabric. When she came out again she wasn't wearing the sweats that had covered her so completely. She'd stolen a pair of his boxers and one of his wife beaters. Every scar was on display, every bit of creamy skin that was fit for mixed company. Sure she had a bra on, pink straps showing on her shoulders, but her arms, neck and legs were deliciously exhibited. Even her feet were bare.

Logan smiled when he saw that her toes matched her fingernails, painted a bright screaming violet. "Wearin' my clothes." He slid a hand over the small of her back and slid one finger below the hem of the shirt to finger her spine. "Tryin' to make me crazy darlin'?"

"Just helpin' you stake your claim sugar." Her voice was breathless and he nearly groaned. The Wolverine was growling his approval of Rogue in their clothes. He was sure the hunger of the beast inside him would spook her but sweet little Marie just smiled up at him and bumped his hip with hers.

He was busy devouring those acres of creamy white skin with his eyes. Damn her legs were perfect, even her feet were cute. And he wanted her arms wrapped around him, hip to hip, mouth to mouth... But he wasn't so busy that he didn't notice the reactions of every mutant in the hallway. As if his girl would ever be careless with her skin. Hadn't the way she'd covered up for years reassured them yet?

It was almost funny the way everyone but Hank, Kurt and Angelica pulled away from Rogue. Angelica just smiled at the other girl and Rogue jumped when the girl's hand smacked her ass. Logan almost choked on his laugh at that. "She do that a lot?"

"Yeah, she figured that if I borrowed her power for a while it wasn't a big deal. When I explained about the memories she just laughed and said if she needed to beat my ass she'd throw a sheet over me first. Said she didn't think I needed her crazy brain in my head. When she first got here she was so shy. I think I corrupted her." Rogue chuckled. "She started smacking me in the ass a year ago, told me I needed to start showing off my figure even if I did need to be covered up."

"She ain't wrong." The Wolverine was rumbling his approval of Rogue's body and apparel. "Pretty Marie," He leaned in and whispered in her ear. Her blush sent a sweet heat to her scent and he inhaled it with pleasure. "What about the elf and the cookie monster?"

"Hank and Kurt?" She shrugged, "They both have fur. You can't tell with Kurt so easy but it's something the two of them have in common. So they're not nervous about me accidentally touching them."

"I must say, Rogue it is a pleasure to see you so relaxed, despite the anxiety it may cause our teachers." Xavier commented over his shoulder. "I hope you'll take some time to augment your wardrobe. Every young lady deserves to enjoy what she wears."

"We'll see Professor," Rogue's voice was even and cool, a marked contrast to her playful tones when she spoke to Logan.

* * *

_Author's Note: So I hope all of you liked how the little confrontation went. I didn't think a knock down drag out fight would be quite right. And Logan isn't the type to fight with words. Rogue however... I always thought she was the type to rip you a new one verbally and then physically if verbally didn't satisfy her._

_Quote Sources:_

_Audeo - : / / shenandoah76209 .deviantart gallery /# /art /Audeo- 468634297?_sid =6d2dfff4_


	8. 8 falling from the stars

_Chapter 8)_

The last time she'd been in Professor Xavier's office like this Logan had been gone already. She'd flown out over the estate and spent the day in the woods. When she'd come back the next morning Jubilee had sneered while Doctor McCoy had sighed and instructed her to at least leave a note next time.

Emma Frost had given her a look that said Rogue was in deep shit with her unless there was a damn good reason for her little escape. She'd escorted Rogue to Xavier's office and took a seat in the chair beside her, a seemingly impartial observer.

"Rogue, I hope you understand that you caused everyone a great deal of worry." Xavier had regarded her with steady eyes. He was a very serene individual, rarely raising his voice and most of the students found him to be calming and inscrutable but they never doubted he cared for them. His children, as he called them. She knew he cared for her, cared about her, but he didn't know her. She needed Logan's rough, unabashedly physical affection and gentle words in his growling voice. This elegant telepath with his intellect and courtesy was no substitute.

She was a legal adult. She wasn't a child. And Xavier treating her like one only reminded her of the lab and her too calm doctors and attendants. She could scream and cry and rail at the lab workers but no one's face ever changed, as if she was an animal in their experiments, not a living, thinking, girl. "That's not true." Rogue forced her voice to stay calm. "Emma was worried, and Hank. Maybe Storm and probably Kurt. John possibly. That's not everyone."

"Jubilee was concerned. It was she who spoke to Doctor Grey regarding your absence." Xavier countered. She felt his mind pressing against hers and used the skills she'd learned from Emma's shadow to repel his thoughts.

"Jubilee wasn't worried. She was just hoping I'd get caught out after curfew, without Logan here to vouch for me." She'd kept her irritation and outrage out of her tone but it had the result of making her voice seem flat. "The rest of the students don't like me. I scare them."

"Well the accident with Kitty probably didn't help," Xavier conceded. "I'm sure you've done everything in your power to reassure her that it wouldn't happen again."

"Yeah, because I can predict when she's going to walk through the walls and right into me," Rogue snorted. "I have to keep covered up even in my sleep. I'm smothered all the time by fabric. It'd be nice if people made an effort to be polite to me, to not phase or crash into me, instead of dumping the burden on me all the time." She glared at the professor unapologetically, "I bring clothes in with me to the showers because when the girls saw me they started gossiping about my scars. And then they started to act like I was going to reach out and grab them. Like I want their mutations or their thoughts in my brain."

She looked out the window at the falling leaves and bright sun. "It's a gorgeous day outside. In Mississippi I'd be wearin' shorts an' doin' chores outside. Here I can go out but I can't let my skin feel the sun or people will be afraid. Everyone tells me to cover up, like my skin will infect them from five feet away." She turned her eyes back to the professor. "At least with Logan here I could help him with things outside. I could talk to him. I could take off my gloves and help because he wasn't afraid of my skin."

"Not everyone is afraid of your skin Rogue, and to say that they are is incredibly self centered." Xavier's mouth tightened slightly and she could feel he was a bit impatient with her.

"Charles, she's not exaggerating," Emma had the air of someone reluctant to speak but felt that she must. "I've heard the rumors, the gossip. It's vile. They say she's the Wolverine's toy. Or that she's sleeping with Hank, or Kurt. And the boys aren't any better."

"They're all children, including Rogue," Xavier shook his head. "I can't force them to stop talking. But Logan being gone will give them less to talk about. That should help."

Rogue remembered how furious that had made her. As if nothing in her life mattered except her age. An age that anywhere else wouldn't be cause for concern. Her experiences and feelings, her behavior and maturity made no difference in the face of her time on the earth. And for Xavier to act as if Logan was the problem instead of the tiny minds that gossiped about him... She'd had to bite her tongue hard to keep her comments to herself. Thankfully Emma had spoken before Rogue could lose control of her emotions and her tongue.

The White Queen sighed. "Charles for someone with such a powerful mind you are curiously foolish about how other people think." She frowned at him and a tightening around his eyes hinted to Rogue that the two telepath's were conversing mentally. A flicker, opening her mind and she could hear murmuring, but nothing else.

Xavier nodded as if to cut off the conversation and regarded Rogue. His expression was somewhat softer around the edges, "Rogue why did you leave? For such a length of time and without informing anyone? How did you leave?"

Rogue frowned and looked at her hands, covered in fabric like always. "I flew." She looked up and met the professor's gaze, green eyes hard and dark. "In the lab, they forced me to…absorb someone. Completely. She's why my eyes are green. Why I can fly and why I'm so strong. She's why bullets bounce off me. When I concentrate I can do more than hover. So I practiced flying."

"And you lost track of where you were?" Xavier seemed a bit more relaxed, as if he thought he understood what she'd been trying to do.

"No," The girl shook her head slowly. "I flew a long way deliberately. I wanted to be away from the school. Away from anyone I could accidently touch. So I could feel the sun on my skin again. So I could talk to the shadows in my mind." She slanted a glance at Emma and half smiled. "I know my mind sounds like a carnival crowd to you telepaths. Figured you'd find me easy enough."

"When you say you talk to the shadows…what do you mean exactly?" Professor X had a look of concentration on his face.

"Listen to my mind for a bit," Rogue shrugged at him. "You'll hear Logan and Emma. Kitty 'cause I absorbed her accidentally. Everybody I touch is in my head, a shadow. Their memories and mutations. I gotta talk to 'em. Keep 'em happy in their places. Learn to co-exist. But it's my mind. Learned to keep control of it. That's how I got out of the lab."

Xavier had narrowed his eyes in concentration, signs of strain showing around his mouth as he listened. Rogue could feel him, his mind pressing to hers as he tried to understand. Finally he sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I'm afraid that while I could pick out a few voices as familiar, I could understand none of them. It sounds as if everyone is talking at once. A carnival crowd is a very apt descriptor." He glanced at the White Queen, "Emma is it similar for you?"

"Somewhat, though I know Rogue better than you do so I'm more adept at finding her voice among the others." The chilly blonde said quietly. "I'm at a loss as to how I can help her though." She turned towards Rogue, "I was hoping we could find a way, a mental trigger that would help you control your skin. But if I can't sort out the chaos in your mind…"

Rogue nodded, "Can't go gator huntin' without a boat, my Pawpaw always used to say."

"And I am at just as much of a loss as Emma," Xavier was regretful but unsurprised. "I'm afraid we will be of little use to you." He had pinched the bridge of his nose as if to ward off a headache, "Perhaps in the future when you need to meditate or commune with your…shadows you might let one of the instructors know you plan to leave?"

"I'll make certain that someone knows where I'm going. Even if I have to leave a message on your door." Rogue remembered that she'd nodded and stood up. "Meditation is a good idea though. Does the library have some books on it?"

"It does," Xavier nodded.

"Good," Rogue had nodded and looked at Emma. "I'm sorry but would you mind driving me to my appointment? I missed it yesterday and I don't want to go too long without…" She let her words fade off and Emma had nodded her understanding.

"Absolutely. I'll pull the car around, you go and grab anything you'll need." The terrifying White Queen smiled warmly. "Oh, and Rogue? For the record, I'm not afraid of your skin. I quite like the little vacation I get from the noise."

Rogue had grinned at her and left Xavier's office.

Now she settled into her chair and regarded the most powerful telepath in the world with an inscrutable gaze. She could tell the Professor was pleased but sometimes she wanted to smack him. For all of his intelligence and powerful mutation he didn't always see how normal people behaved. Logan was ready to carve someone up for the way she'd been treated while he was gone. She wasn't feeling too pleased herself.

* * *

The Wolverine was fired up and ready for a fight when Xavier's door shut behind them. He wasn't prepared for Xavier to look at Rogue and smile. "I am glad you're feeling more comfortable Rogue. As I could not be much of a help to you personally, I'd hoped Hank would be a good mentor." The professor's expression was genuine to Logan's senses. "I wish I'd known that Logan's return was what you needed to stand up for yourself. I would have had him back a year ago."

"You still believed Scott and Jean when they lied to you," Rogue nearly snarled. "How could you believe them? Logan would never do anything like that."

"I'll admit I had my doubts but when Logan didn't question why I was sending him away I assumed he believed the separation would be better for the both of you." Xavier was telling the truth but the Wolverine let out a snarl.

"Exactly what the fuck did they tell you Chuck?" He wanted to throw himself into a chair and pull Marie into his lap. At the same time the Wolverine was ready to defend his mate. He frowned at the professor and moved closer to his woman, his pretty Marie. Funny how easy it came to him, thinking of her by name. "Exactly what did they say or show you that you could misinterpret so fuckin' bad?"

Rogue looked at him and sighed, "Remember how I was nervous about that dance?"

"Yeah," He nearly chuckled. "You were sayin' how you couldn't dance. Never went to cotillion or somethin'." It was one of the memories he loved to think about when he was lying awake at night. Teaching his girl a few simple steps. Things he'd learned so long ago that he knew them as well as he did fighting.

"So you taught me." She nodded and looked at the Professor. "Maybe you ought to actually see from the two of us what was going on. Instead of Scott and Jean's...prurient interpretation."

"Very well." Xavier regarded him thoughtfully, "With your permission Logan."

"Yeah." Wolverine nodded and drew closer to Rogue until he was standing at her side. Her hand slid up until her fingers hooked into a beltloop of his jeans and some of the tension seeped out of his battle ready body.

What happened after the Professor focused his gaze on the two of them was, in a word, extraordinary. He could feel Rogue, next to him but he could also feel her in his mind, as if Xavier's mind was a conduit. And the memory wasn't a memory. He was living it.

* * *

The rec room was deserted at this time of night. The kids were all in bed, unless they were like Jonesy. And he'd gone to hang out in the kitchen and see what he could do with the electronics in there. Logan tended to watch ESPN or the news when the kids weren't around. Sometimes he'd find an old movie that tugged at his memory and he knew the lines before the actors spoke them.

Now and then his girl would join him. Quiet hours when she couldn't sleep or a nightmare had jerked her out of bed at two in the morning. They'd talk about the books she'd read for class or what he planned to do with one of the engines he loved. Places she wanted to see, things he'd like to do someday. She wanted to build a house from scratch and he wanted to do the same thing with a truck. She wanted to see Italy, where her people had come from and he wanted to stand in the middle of the coliseum. She'd grinned when he'd told her that one and said that was a different type of cage fight but she guessed he felt sort sympathetic to the gladiators. She hadn't been wrong on that one.

Tonight there was something bothering her. He could smell it, a trickle of worry that snaked through her scent like a stream wearing away a cliff. "Gonna spit it out for me darlin' or do I hafta talk at ya for an hour?" He'd finally asked after she'd rested her head on his shoulder. His arm was resting on the back of the couch, idly stroking her hair.

Rogue's feeling of utter safety and affection was like a perfume around him. He could feel how secure she was in his company. She wasn't afraid she'd hurt him or that he'd hurt her. But she was aware of him as a man just as he was aware of her as a woman. And along with that awareness was equal certainty on both their parts that it wasn't their time yet. They both needed healing, needed each other but right now, this, companionship, love, safety and closeness was far more important than a base human need for sex.

Still he loved that she came to him, that she trusted him. Her trust was like a gift. And he knew that her questions were never mocking, never meant to be hurtful. She was honest with him and he could believe she always would be. Just as he was honest with her. So he could ask a question and know she'd give him an answer, eventually.

"Everyone's talkin' about that dance in a couple weeks," Rogue said finally. "Doctor Grey told me I had to go. That 'it wasn't good for me to avoid school social functions'." Her tone of voice indicated her opinion of school social functions and Jean's insistence she attend. "I don't see what the big deal is. I didn't go to dances before my mutation. Why should that change?"

"Maybe she wants you to have some fun?" Logan was sure that's what Jean told herself but he didn't believe her motive was so selfless. If there was one thing he'd learned about Jean Grey it was that she liked being right. And she really liked making sure everyone else did what she thought was good for them. Whether they liked it or not.

"How is being a wallflower going to be fun?" Rogue's words were bitter. Her apprehension and discomfort bound her limbs with tension even in her relaxed posture. "Just one more thing for all of them to talk about or laugh about. Nobody's going to dance with 'Scar girl'."

"That what they're callin' you now?" Logan had growled his dislike of the term. "Brats."

"But these are the people I should spend time with," Rogue agreed sarcastically.

"Yeah, so what's really buggin' you?" He'd prodded her some, he had to admit. But better to get it out than let whatever it was fester. Like a splinter. Yank it out; let the blood clean the wound.

"I can't dance. And you know that someone will ask me, even if it's Doctor McCoy. I'll step all over whoever it is." The words had come out in a rush with a cloud of embarrassment and melancholy.

"Ain't hard." He'd practically grunted the words. "Hell if I can dance you can." He looked at her sideways and smirked when he saw her lips parted in shock. She looked damn cute. And totally kissable. "Whatsamatter? Thought I had no manners at all?"

"Just, uh, surprised," Rogue had stumbled over her words and then grinned at him when he chuckled. A tiny fist hit his bicep. "Jerk. You know nobody would guess you could dance."

"Don't remember learnin'," Logan admitted quietly. "But I know how. And if you can dance, translates well to fightin' and other things. Sports." He added a bit desperately. He'd been thinking of sex, but then his mind was never far away from that particular topic. He was a guy after all. And his girl was beautiful. "So, you uh, wanna learn?"

"You'd teach me?" Her surprised look had actually pricked at his feelings. Had she actually thought he'd talk about it and then not teach her? But her eyes were eager and a bit excited and when she'd babbled on he'd realized she was thinking of another problem. "I mean, that'd be great. I just, well, I don't want to get you in trouble or anything."

"Hell there's no one around right now, and if someone thinks teachin' you the box step is 'improper' then they got a dirtier mind than I do." He'd tugged her up off the couch, pushed the coffee table out of the way and gone to the stereo.

He'd finally found a station that was playing something he considered music. Probably ancient oldies to the rest of the mansion but the tunes rolling through the air spoke to him. Smoky old clubs, big bands, slinky gowns and elegant suits. Gilded little tables and chairs circling a swirling marbled dance floor and the gleam of crystal and china and brass. Etta James' perfect voice flowed through the air and he turned to see Rogue swaying slightly, her sweet voice singing along.

"At last…my love…has come along," She smiled and he couldn't help grinning back at her. Two strides later and she was in his arms, her hand on his shoulder and his at her waist, a respectable distance between them.

"My lonely days are over…" He sang back at her and his amusement at her shock lightened his words. "And life is like a song." By the time the tune was over she could manage a box step.

Another one came on, something he'd heard a million times in his memory and only a few times when he was awake. "If I didn't care," Logan whispered as he guided her into a waltz. "More than words can say."

Her smile was sweet, loving and she followed his lead with complete trust. The words of the music washed over them, saying everything he couldn't. Now and then he'd murmur the lyrics and coax her into looking at him and not her feet. "If this isn't love…then why do I thrill? And why does my head spin round and round while my heart stands still."

The foxtrot was easier for her somehow and she was smiling up at him happily by the time the song ended. A jazzier number soared through the room and he chuckled. "I'm not as good with this but I think we could manage some swing."

"I'm game if you are sugar." She'd laughed when he swung her into a fast beat, showing her the movements for her feet and teasing her about his bruised toes.

He'd switched the station then, found something a bit more country and gave her a quick and dirty lesson in line dancing. And finally something slow and sweet came on, heartbreaking in its melancholy and they'd ended the lesson with a simple sway before he'd given her a hard hug.

She'd clung to him, a little bit longer, her need for him to be close overriding her caution and he'd lifted her into his arms and let them both linger over that moment. He could feel and smell how content she was in his embrace.

Back then he'd simply been grateful that she'd trusted him. Now, reliving the memory, he could feel how much she loved him. The amount of control she'd exerted to conceal her feelings and thus enabled him to control his was astonishing. Her emotions were like a warm quilt, wrapped around him, as if she'd wanted to protect him from anything or anyone that might try to hurt him.

He hadn't articulated his feelings. Not to himself or anyone else. And especially not the girl he adored. Past eighteen, a woman by anyone's standards, he persisted in calling her a girl, until she gave him some sign she was ready to be something besides a child. But part of him, a part he couldn't blame on just the Wolverine, had already claimed her. His girl. His sweetheart. His darlin'.

* * *

_Author's Note: So not quite a confrontation but we're not done yet. I wanted to contrast the 'then' and 'now' elements of the story a bit. I know Xavier isn't coming across as the kind, wise leader that he generally is in other fics or in the movies/comics. But really I didn't see how he could be. He's so reliant on his mutation to help him understand people that if he can't hear someone's thoughts, he'd be at a severe disadvantage._

_Nothing I'd read (yes I actually researched, I'm weird, I know.) indicated that the other kids in the school were rescued from labs when they first came to Xavier's so I figured they would all be woefully unprepared for someone who isn't 'normal' like they are. By contrast once Rogue's been there a while when they find other mutants and get them out of bad situations the rest of the team has more experience dealing with victims of abuse or experimentation. They've had Rogue to show them what to do and what to avoid. _

_And I couldn't resist having Logan teach Rogue to dance since we all know just how good Hugh Jackman is at both. I don't think its something the rest of the school is aware of though. Don't tell!_


	9. 9 drenched in my pain again

_Chapter 9)_

When the Professor withdrew from their minds Logan blinked and looked down at Rogue. "Mighta been even more fun the second time around." He offered her a half smile and was relieved when she grinned up at him.

"Sit down sugar," she suggested and squeaked when he took that as an invitation. Faster than a hiccup he'd scooped her up and took her place in the chair, holding her in his lap with one slender arm draped over his shoulders and around his neck. He had one hand free for whatever gesture he felt was appropriate while his arm curved around her waist and his palm rested on her hip.

Xavier raised an eyebrow at his casual handling of Rogue but forbore from commenting on it. "Well I must say that it is rare I am so privileged as to see a memory so filled with what we might call the higher emotions." He took a deep breath. "I am unfortunate in that I can see both sides of the argument. If Jean or Scott saw that little interlude it could easily be misinterpreted. Yet I know from your memories that neither of you was thinking of any physical expression of affection, beyond that hug."

"You sure about that Professor X," Rogue had that teasing honey tone to her voice. "Pretty sure I didn't want the man to let go of me."

"But your only thought was to be held." The telepath observed, "And Logan's only intention was to comfort you. The two of you were quite…controlled. More than I might have guessed had I seen this with my own eyes as Jean or Scott did."

Logan ground his teeth together and looked at Rogue, "May's well tell him the rest." He prodded her with a frown.

"The rest?" Xavier was also frowning.

"If Jean or Scott or anybody had been around, I woulda heard 'em," Wolverine tilted his head in an obvious reminder of his superior senses. "Even over the music. I woulda heard the floors creak, them breathin', heartbeats. I woulda smelt Jean's perfume or Scott's aftershave."

Rogue nodded, "So would I." She offered. "Jean wasn't the first telepath I touched after all. And part of why the mutations I held seemed so random was that my subconscious was using them however it felt appropriate. At least when I might be in danger. And I was just nervous enough that something would have kicked on to listen for snoops."

"Then how did either of them know about your dance lessons," Xavier didn't get it and Logan groaned.

"Geez Chuck, you never thought that not every telepath is as polite as you?" The feral rolled his eyes. "Jean's gone snooping in my head more times than I can count. And she's not exactly keeping confidentiality on the stuff she finds there. She coulda got it from me or Rogue. And from what I've heard getting anything from Rogue is damn unlikely."

"Why do you think she's so irritated with me," Rogue added. "It's hard for her to read me. And harder since I've been learning to not project my thoughts... Keep shields up or whatever like Emma taught me. But what I've gotten from her when the telepath I've got kicks on is that Jean is the Queen B with a capital bitch and she doesn't like competition."

"Acts like every man she deems 'worthy' oughta fall at her feet an' worship." The Wolverine grumbled. "Maybe that works on Scott but I don't take to that kinda collar. Never have." He nuzzled Marie's hair and neck, breathing in with satisfaction. "Like my woman soft and curvy and strong. Bare face and feet. Not with heels that could impale a man and enough powder and paint to cover a room."

Rogue giggled at him and admonished, "You've seen me with make up sugar."

"But yours don't cover you up. Just…frames you," he argued. "And you always smell like you. Your perfume's an accent, it doesn't try to cover you up. Not like ambergris and heavy fake flowers an' musk."

Professor Xavier was watching them with a slightly bemused look on his face. "And since you've returned?" He leaned forward slightly to regard them more closely. "You mentioned that you two wish to embark on a relationship and will do so regardless of any objections."

"Rogue was out with the team," Logan ran down the basics of what had happened for the professor. Without going into detail he explained the afternoon's events and shrugged. "She's past twenty now. Hell, she was near twenty when you sent me packin'. She's done waiting and so'm I. Scott seemed to think he had the right to poke his nose in. We took exception."

"Such a relationship might be a bit more dangerous than any other you've been in." The Professor commented. "Despite how comfortable you are now, one of you will always need to be on guard."

"That's for us to worry about," Rogue frowned. "Besides, with incentive, who's to say I couldn't learn to control my mutation?" Logan noticed her wording, it wasn't a lie, but it was deceiving. That was fine with him. It was up to her to tell, or not, about her control. If she didn't trust Xavier with the secret then he wasn't going to tell her she should, or give the news away against her obvious wishes.

"True," Xavier's tone of voice didn't indicate a great deal of optimism regarding that possibility. His voice was carefully guarded and Logan scowled. The man sounded as if he didn't think it was possible at all. Like he wanted Rogue to be isolated for the rest of her life without any relationships other than friendship. The feral's scowl deepened. It would be one way that Rogue would remain bound to the X-Men, if they were the only relationships she had.

"That all you got for us?" Logan stood up easily scooping his girl in his arms bridal style.

"Yes. I'm sorry Logan for such chaos on your return home." Professor Xavier gave him a half smile. "Please be careful. Both of you."

The Wolverine was ready to roar his frustrations out as the office door shut behind him and he stood in the hallway. "Darlin'," He began to walk towards his room. "What do you think of packing a few bags and headin' out?"

"Like elsewhere?" Rogue grinned wickedly. "Without saucers and pitchers?"

"Yeah," Logan took the steps two at a time and grabbed for her as Rogue slipped from his arms and hovered in the air. "Hey c'mere." He wrapped his arms around her again.

"Faster if I fly," She teased.

"Like holdin' you." Wolverine grumbled and was rewarded with slender arms draped around his neck. "How long will it take you to pack a couple bags?"

"Not long," Marie shrugged against him. "I keep a go bag with most of my stuff. The rest I can pack in ten minutes tops." He looked at her curiously and she tilted her head. "Sugar I survived a long time alone by always bein' ready to run. And the way things have been here? If you weren't gonna have me I was gone. Only stayed this long because it was where you left me. Where you'd come back to."

"Hell, if I'd known you wanted to leave so bad I'd have told you to meet me a year ago," Logan muttered. He set her down at her door and watched as she pulled on a pair of tennis shoes, a teeshirt and loose knit pants. A backpack and a big duffle bag levitated out of the closet while toiletries soared out of the bathroom and off the vanity. Everything filed into the backpack and it zipped itself shut. Logan grinned and grabbed the duffle bag while she slung the pack over her shoulder.

"Need anything from your room?" She asked quietly.

"Nah. Didn't even bring in my bag," Wolverine shrugged. "Everything's in the truck still." He gave her a sheepish smile, "Wasn't thinkin' about much but seein' you." Her shyly pleased smile seemed to send warmth through his entire body as they walked down to his truck.

They had a tricky moment when Xavier started talking in Logan's head, asking what was going on. Logan had snarled, Rogue had used one of her borrowed talents to mentally chide the Professor and tell him that they were taking a break from the school.

She'd laughed when they pulled out of the front gates. "How long do you think before they're callin' and telling us they need us back pronto?"

"I give 'em two weeks." Logan had sent her a wicked grin. "How long it takes us to come back. That's the question."

* * *

It had been a long time since she'd spent hours in the truck with Logan. The last time she'd been shaking with fever and had a deep racking cough. Her collection of mutations and their respective shadow minds had been clamoring for attention. She'd been afraid, worse than afraid, almost mindless with terror that she'd hurt the first person who'd been decent to her in more than a year.

When she'd flinched from his hands she'd felt how it had wounded him. The shadow of an empath with a gift for making random things explode with a touch had let her know just how much her reaction had pained the gruff looking male driving the truck. But her explanation of why had been met with relief and determination.

Another shadow mind had commented on the metal that ran through his body. Metal she could manipulate if she needed to escape him for some reason. And the telepath she'd absorbed had commented that he was just as much animal as he was man. Hence the claws and near growling tone to his voice.

"I'm sorry, to... be rude," She'd offered after her explanation. "Just don' wanna hurt ya. Be poor repayment for the ride." Part of her had wondered if he'd demand another sort of payment from her. She didn't get the impression that he liked forcing himself on women, not from the empath or the telepath. But she'd been wrong, or misinterpreted what she'd seen, often before.

"Didn't hafta warn me about the shotgun in the bar," He'd grunted at her. "A ride is the least I can do." He'd glanced at her and half of his mouth had jerked upwards around the cigar. "But you wouldn't hurt me kid. Not much at least. Lotsa folks try, but it don't ever take."

She'd stared at his knuckles then, her gaze drawn to where she'd seen those silver claws spear out of his flesh to slice down on the gun's twin barrels. "Does it hurt? When they come out?" She had asked tentatively.

"Every time." The quiet honesty in his voice was pained.

There'd been a long pause, a somehow comfortable silence between the two of them, before he spoke again. "So where're you headed?"

"Dunno," She'd shrugged. It had been the truth. It seemed like so long since she'd left home. She couldn't go back but she didn't have anywhere to run either. "Folks threw me out when I was fifteen. At the time, the plan was Alaska. These days..." There wasn't much else she could say. Her only plan was to keep moving somehow.

"Mutation manifested then?" He'd given her a roughly sympathetic look.

"Yeah. Put a boy in a coma," Rogue had shrugged. "Lasted about a year on the streets 'fore I got...sent to a lab." She shifted uncomfortably and tried to take a deeper breath only to have another coughing fit shake her painfully.

"An' they just let you out again?" Logan had sounded incredulous. As well he ought. No one was let go from a mutant lab. You didn't just walk out.

"No," She shook her head. "Took me at least two years to escape."

He'd reached for the glove box and pulled out a bag of jerky. It wasn't in a product bag or anything; it was obviously something he'd made. It had an odd taste but that didn't stop her from eating a huge piece as quickly as she could. "Take it easy on that," He'd cautioned her. "Too much protein's hard on a hungry stomach." His introduction had been without the southern manners her mama had taught her but he'd been honest from the first. "Most folks just call me Wolverine."

"Rogue," She'd offered softly.

"What kinda name is Rogue?" He'd asked with a curious half grin.

"What kinda name is Wolverine," she'd tossed that back.

That had gotten a chuckle out of him and he'd nodded, "Name's Logan. Far as I know." He'd shown her his tags. "Don't got much of a memory past twenty years ago."

"Dunno what my name is, 'sides Rogue." She'd had to admit. "Stuff they did in the labs..." She'd lost much of her identity there and on the road there wasn't a great deal of time or peace for her to sift through her own brain and get it back. Her birth name had been tangled up with memories of the lab and the torments they'd visited on her.

"I know," Logan had once again been gruffly sympathetic. "Got out of a lab myself once. Think that's what happened to my memory."

He'd told her about what he did remember, what he'd been doing since he'd escaped, and about the school where he worked. And he'd offered to take her there.

It had taken a while to drive, but it had given her time to realize she could trust him. To tell him her story, about the labs, about what they'd done and what her skin could do. And the little she remembered about her past beyond the labs. The year on the streets and getting caught in a sweep by the cops though a squat.

By the time they'd reached Xavier's estate they'd become closer than anyone would have expected. Meeting Professor Xavier for the first time had been disconcerting. She'd been able to feel him touching her mind. The sensation was worse than any influx of mutation due to her talent as unprepared as she'd been. She'd jerked backwards, almost scrambling away and crashed back into Logan. She'd been whimpering, keening like a frightened animal, to her own embarrassment.

Logan's hands had come down on her shoulders and he'd steadied her. "Chuck whatever the fuck you're doin' stop it. She's scared half to death." He'd kept his hands gentle, had let her press back against his solid body until she could calm down. His presence, stoic and unflappable had been like a rock she could lean against until the fight or flight response of her body eased.

"Her mind is..." Xavier had frowned and shaken his head, he'd looked pained. "If she weren't right in front of me and obviously in possession of her senses I could easily believe her the victim of multiple personality disorder."

"She's told me some of what her mutation does," the Wolverine had been growling quietly, his chest rumbled against her back. "Get it from me if you gotta. You might wanna let her get used to all of us before you go pokin' at her brain. She's been experimented on enough I think." He had carefully helped her into one of the chairs before Xavier's desk and stood where she could see him.

Rogue had nodded fervently. She'd tried to stay calm and answer Xavier's questions but she'd started to feel hot and dizzy. Only Logan's quick reflexes had kept her from tumbling out of the chair to the floor.

The next time she'd woken up she'd been in the infirmary. It had been Logan who'd been there, hovering outside the door, when she woke up afraid in the white room. It had been Logan who realized that no one was going to ask her about her time in the lab. He'd spoken to Hank who'd found a doctor for her, someone who would deal with a mutant. And it had been Logan who'd driven her to the psychiatrist every day, and then every week for at least a year.

After he'd left she'd been able to drive herself. Emma had taken her a few times before she'd left and she'd made sure that Rogue had access to the vehicles so she could keep her appointments. She'd also taken Rogue to the DMV so the younger mutant could get a drivers license. Between the two of them they'd managed to 'convince' the officials of the Dept. of Motor Vehicles that Rogue was perfectly fine as a name on her license.

Even if the method of obtaining the documentation was quasi legal it wasn't as if Rogue didn't know how to drive. Logan had taught her in the year and a half before he'd had to leave while Beast and Storm tested her on the rules of the road. It had been a relief to not be dependent on an 'adult' for a way to get to her therapy. Especially when the available adults had dwindled down to the few who didn't personally seem to like her during pickups of new mutants.

Her therapist had recommended group sessions along with the individual therapy and eventually she'd deemed Rogue healthy enough that she only had individual visits once in a while. The group sessions switched to a support group. And slowly but surely she healed.

After Bobby she'd gone back to her therapist for a mental checkup and a list of suggestions to avoid the mental behavior that had made her willing to subject herself to something she didn't want. She'd finally confessed how she felt about Logan and instead of condescension was given encouragement.

Pyro and Firestar had given her their own brand of encouragement and now…

Now they were driving away from Xavier's. An odd reversal of their journey to the estate all those years ago. Rogue looked at Logan and smiled. "What kinda name is Wolverine?" She teased.

"What kinda name is Rogue," Logan teased her back.

"I'm so glad I ended up in that bar with you." Rogue smiled as she remembered their first meeting.

* * *

_Author's Note: So a little more about how they met. But they're finally away from all the Nosy Nellies at the mansion. It can only help right? _

_Sorry if the chapter titles are confusing. I had to go back and refigure what lines to use and put numbers in the front. Otherwise...well let's just say this is turning out a big longer than I thought it would be._


	10. 10 becoming who we are

_Chapter 10)_

Logan was enjoying the scent of his girl in his truck. She just felt right there. To have her next to him as they drove away was satisfying to the Wolverine. And then she'd drawn out the memories of the first time they met and he'd been hard pressed to keep from pulling her closer to his side.

They hadn't driven much longer before she asked another question. This one was a little more serious. "When we go back...do you think we'll last there? With all of them watching and...judging?" She shook her head, "How long do you think the Wolverine could stand it?"

"Heh," Logan shook his head. "I'd give it six months tops. Only reason I figure you an' me could hold out that long would be workin' and you studyin'. Plus some of 'em aren't bad. Hank and Kurt. Even Storm and Pyro aren't too awful. And your little red head seems like a hoot." He shrugged, "But the others...and all the kids. Depends on how much they start to irritate me. Wolverine'll take a lot of garbage but he won't be able to handle them treatin' you bad. And they're not too bright that way."

"An' they call themselves gifted," Marie snorted derisively. "Let's not stop until we can't stand to not be horizontal anymore." He pulled the truck over to the side of the road. They were less than a mile from the mansion and she stared at him. "Somethin' wrong?"

"You said until I couldn't stand to not be horizontal," He growled and his hand snaked over the bench seat, unlatched her seat belt and tugged her body closer. "More'n five years darlin'." His hands were rough, even as he tried to be careful of her soft skin, he could feel his callused palms scrape over her delicate cheek and neck. But she was tilting her head back and her fingers slid up his chest to his shoulders before tugging on the hair at the nape of his neck and threading through it.

She smelled so good, hot and bright in his nose, those sweet lips parted and her pulse fluttering in her throat against his fingers. He hesitated, reined himself in, put a throttle hold on the Wolverine before he bent towards her. He'd only get one first kiss with his girl; one kiss to show her what she was to him. Damned if he'd screw it up.

But she closed the distance, an eager little mew in her throat, until all he had to do was dip his head down just a touch and there she was. That soft, luscious, tender mouth, was so sweet under his. She stilled against him, sensation shocking them both, heat like honey bursting through him. Trying to keep his mouth gentle on hers Logan sipped and nipped at her lips, loving every gasp and breathless catch of surprise as she tried to get closer to him. His need was getting the better of him, one hand cupping her neck and jaw while the other wound into that glory of hair waving down her back.

She moaned into his mouth and he nearly lost control, his tongue sliding over her lips and tasting her. Surprise stilled her breathing again for a moment until she cautiously imitated his caress. More heat, sweet fire at the touch of her tongue in his mouth. And he began to devour. Caught her tongue between his lips and sucked on it like he wanted to suck on her tits and clit. His lips grew rougher, drew her mouth deeper to his, until she was tugging at his hair, pulling herself as close as she could.

His hand dropped from her cheek and slid down to her waist, pushed past the elastic of her sweatpants and into the stolen shorts she still wore. His palm was big enough to cup half of her ass, squeezing and pressing her hips against his. Her muffled squeak of surprise mutated into a moan as he tore his mouth from hers and fastened it to the pulse point of her neck. The animal in him wanted to put his mark on her, on that vulnerable spot, show the world she belonged to him.

And she was arching her neck up to his mouth, her breasts pressed to his chest, and she'd wrapped her thighs around his waist. A swivel of her hips and she was grinding her body down onto his. Trapped behind denim and cotton his cock was throbbing in agony and pleasure as she writhed against it. That gorgeous magnolia voice was murmuring his name, moaning it for him. She was going to drive him crazy.

Whiskers against the tender skin of her neck, her body shifting restlessly and a gasp of his name, a hot plea for mercy or satisfaction, he couldn't be sure which. But the sound of it simply urged the Wolverine on and he drew that soft skin into his mouth, sucked and nibbled until he smelt the tiny bursting blood vessels. "Logan," Marie's voice was sultry sin against his neck and he groaned in satisfaction. "You make me feel so good sugar." She was still rubbing against him, shivering and he shuddered in response.

"Fuckin' hell darlin'." The feral pulled her closer and kissed her neck and mouth and cheek. "Baby, I dunno where we're gonna end up, land wise. But we're getting out of town and then we're getting' a fuckin' room."

"Definitely." Her agreement was on the shaky side and he pulled away to give her a sharp look.

"Scare you?" He was feeling slightly incoherent and all the blood in his body was still in his dick.

"Nah, could feel you…holdin' back." She shook her head and he reluctantly pulled his hand off her ass. "Just…didn't wanna stop."

"Yeah, me neither." Logan forced himself to turn towards the steering wheel again. Marie pulled the seatbelt out of the cushions and strapped herself in next to him. He draped an arm over her shoulders and let himself rub a cheek over her hair for a moment before he started the truck back up. For a minute he squinted at the windows until he realized they'd fogged them up good. That got a chuckle out of him and a giggle from his woman when he explained the problem. "Been a long time since I fogged up the car windows," he admitted still chuckling.

"First time for me," She laughed up at him. "Glad it's you."

"Yeah," Logan pressed his lips to her forehead and felt heat burn through him, innocent as the caress was. "Wouldn't have anyone but you darlin'."

* * *

She felt dizzy with sensation. Casting her mind back to what she recalled of her life before her mutation she couldn't find any instance of such intense feelings before. Her entire body felt like one huge exposed nerve, vibrating in reaction to Logan's presence and touch.

His heavy arm was slung around her shoulders. It kept her close to his body and she turned her face to his chest. Rogue inhaled his scent and felt slightly calmer but at the same time, her heart speed up. Automatically her fingers slid up to touch the dog tags she still wore around her neck. Logan had given them to her before he'd left. She'd put them on right away ignoring that they didn't exactly match her fancy dress or earrings.

"I'll be back for these," He'd promised her. The heated look in his eyes had promised other things.

She smiled again as his fingers stroked through her hair, drawing her out of the memory, and looked up at him. "Sugar, you realize I still got your tags? You want 'em back?"

"Nah," He chuckled. "Put 'em on you so any guy who tried to take a second look would know you belonged to me." Those bright eyes of his looked down at her for a moment before he put his gaze back on the road. "And I wanted to make sure you knew I'd come back for you."

"Yeah we did have quite a few chaperones at the time didn't we," Rogue recalled. He'd waited until the dance was nearly over but most of the students had stayed until the bitter end. Jean and Scott had stayed as well, their eyes fixed upon Logan and Rogue.

"Heh," Logan grumbled. "Professor X really wants to encourage unity he'd do better to make up a school uniform or some rules about the dress code." His mouth quirked up in a rueful half smile as she made a noise of inquiry. "Seems to me that all kids use clothes for is to made other kids feel stupid. Never understood the whole idea of everyone imitatin' someone else."

"Power," Rogue said softly. "Everybody wants power. An' for some, only way is to make others feel helpless." She knew what that was like, far too well. "Like Jean. She didn't want me around 'cause you cared about me. I made her feel less powerful."

"That you did." The Wolverine agreed. "But she was losin' her hold on me long before you showed up darlin'." He frowned and looked at her with a question in his eyes. "Baby, you know I'll try to be a good man for you right?"

"Logan what're you talkin' about?" Rogue couldn't contain the burble of amusement at the thought of her Wolverine being anything but a good man. "Why're you worried about that?"

"Probably 'cause I'm not," he growled his irritation. "Most a the time I'm a jackass darlin'. I like fightin' and drinkin' even if alcohol is more like lemonade. I like sex and I've had a lot of it. I can't stand cities and I don't give a shit about fashion, manners or people in general."

"So?" She looked up at him. "All that might make you rude, or not especially nice. But it doesn't mean you aren't a good man." Rogue narrowed her eyes. "You didn't answer my question. Why are you worried about it?"

"Somethin'..." Logan took a deep breath and she felt him wrapping a lock of platinum and ebony hair around his fingers. "Before you came along, I was really... well I was chasin' Jean pretty hard. Even kissed her once."

"Uh huh," Rogue tried to keep her voice even. This was no time to have a jealous fit over something that happened before Logan had even met her. It wasn't easy to fool the Wolverine though.

"Back then, figured it was as close as I'd get to bein' happy." The Wolverine admitted in a low voice. "I was trying to convince her to choose me. That she didn't need Scott."

Rogue frowned as she heard the pain in his voice. Jean had hurt him. Suddenly she wanted to turn the truck around and kick a certain red-headed telepath bitch's ass. "Guess she was stringin' you along huh sugar?"

"Yeah." He nodded and his jaw tensed. "She told me that good girls don't end up with the bad boy. They marry the good guy." His eyes gleamed gold as he turned to look at her and Rogue wanted nothing more than to kiss him again. "I guess because the good guys stick around."

"It doesn't count if they make you go Logan," Rogue sighed. "You're a good man. A man." She rubbed her cheek against his bicep. "The mansion is full of guys. Boys thinkin' they're men. I don't need a guy. I need you. You're a man. You'll call me on my shit and you won't have a tantrum if I tell you that you're wrong. You'll stand for me and you'll want me to stand for you."

She turned slightly out of his embrace so he could see her face without taking his eyes entirely off the road. "I'm not a damsel in distress that needs rescuin' Logan. I got myself out of the fuckin' labs and if it ever happens again I won't wait for you to come an' save me. I'll be workin' to get out just like I know you would. I don't want a prince or a knight. I want the man who'll meet me halfway."

"I just..."

More than ever Rogue wanted to give Jean a taste of Mississippi justice. That bitch had made Logan, the most prosaically heroic man she'd ever met, feel like he wasn't good enough. Like he literally wasn't a good enough person to be with Jean. "I'm gonna kick her fuckin' ass," Marie heard her accent thicken to the point of her speech being near unintelligible. "That henna dyed heifer'll be prayin' she can' reverse time an' never even meet you much less pull that sorta crap on my Logan. Or maybe I'll just drain her to the point of bein' normal an' we'll see how fuckin' perfect everyone thinks she is then!" She could hear herself ranting but she couldn't seem to stop.

"Darlin', baby," Logan was trying to calm her down as he pulled over again but she was too busy swearing a blue streak and promising to let hens nest in Jean's hair after it had been shaved off with rusty blades. "Marie!" It was the Wolverine now, growling down at her with beautiful gold eyes.

"Yeah sugar?" She blinked up at him and got a feral grin in return.

"Mine." His mouth was coming closer and closer and then... God the heat of it, the fire that swept through her at the touch of his mouth was like nothing she'd ever felt. Wolverine wasn't gentle like Logan. He took and devoured and demanded she keep up with him until she was in his lap. Her shirt was pushed up and over her head and his mouth fixed to her breast. She could feel his lips, his teeth, drawing at her flesh even through the fabric of his wifebeater and her bra. It was as if her body was trying to outgrow her skin. She ached, her skin too hot and tight, her breasts painfully swollen and a pulse like fire throbbed between her thighs.

She'd gotten her hands beneath his shirt, palms flat against his stomach and tried to unbutton his jeans but she couldn't get her angle right. And his hands were distracting, one palm rubbing her breast while the other had no trouble snaking down the front of her yoga pants and into her panties. Her moan wasn't pretty, a guttural animalistic howl of need and delight as he cupped her pussy and rubbed the heel of his palm against her clit.

Marie moaned against the skin of his neck, his skin was hot and tangy in her mouth, she couldn't stop kissing it. His neck, the skin near his shoulder as his mouth switched to her other breast. She could hear him, groaning and growling against her until he popped a claw and sliced the front of her shirt and bra open. His lips found bare flesh which, heated with desire, shivered in the cool air and her nipples tightened painfully.

Her insides were turning to liquid, melting down her thighs, coating his fingers as he fixed his mouth to her breast. A long slow pull of his mouth and she felt it like lightning along her nerves to the junction of her thighs. Everything throbbed in time to his lips as they sucked on her tits and Rogue moaned. "Wolverine, Logan... oh..."

She could feel his satisfaction, the Wolverine needed her passion, her acceptance of his nature and he reveled in her desire for him. She'd named him in her passion and then the man. She was his. "Yes," She arched her breasts up to his mouth, exposed to the sun but for his huge form shadowing her. "I'm yours. You know I'm yours. Wolverine. Logan." She begged then, "Please..."

"Yours." He shifted under her palm, his cock hard and pressing up against his jeans. But even with one hand free, rubbing up and down her spine, he didn't make a move to free his body from its confines. Gold eyes stared down at her for a moment before he dipped his head back to her breasts again.

"Mine," Rogue agreed with a gasp as she felt his thick fingers stroking her slippery flesh gently. Without even thinking of what it might mean, she spread her thighs wider for his hand. His growl of pleasure was sweeter than any endearment as his two of his fingers slid inside her and pressed upwards more slowly and gently than she would have expected. Her gasp was shocked and pleased and she couldn't help herself. Her hips twitched and ground onto his hand in need.

"Yes," Wolverine growled at her and those gold eyes blazed hot with satisfaction. Marie shuddered hotly under his gaze and her hands tightened on his body, clinging to him.

Hot, and full and so deep, so right inside her. She'd never felt anything like it. His hands and mouth on her body became the world. Slow presses, in and out, until she was shivering and trying to arch her back to his mouth and her hips to his hands. There was no escaping the pleasure, the overwhelming heat or the chaos that seemed to consume her body. It simply built and built with every movement until she was gasping his name, crying out mindlessly and finally clinging to him as the storm built and built and then broke over her.

"Logan, Wolverine..." She thought she screamed as her body felt like it had imploded. Sensation was almost tangible as it washed over her.

"That's my girl," He muttered in her ear. "That's my beautiful sexy woman." Logan had cradled her against his chest, his hand still between her thighs, easing her down from the heights he'd taken her to. "God you're so sweet darlin'. So fuckin' beautiful." His lips ghosted kisses over her face and hair as she shivered.

"Wolverine...Logan," Rogue could barely whisper and had the fleeting thought that it was a good thing his senses were so acute.

"Yeah baby?" His hand between her thighs was still lazily stroking her flesh, sending little aftershocks through her body until she almost moaned again.

"Can I...do anything for you Sugar?" She wanted to pleasure him, the way he had her, but at the same time there was a long way between willing and able. She'd seen all sorts of horrors on the streets. All the things that had been forced on her in the labs… Who knew what ugly shadows would rear their heads when she tried to please him?

"First time I come with you, wanna be inside you," Logan told her. He gently eased his fingers out of her body and immediately she frowned with how empty she felt. "The Wolverine got a little carried away when you started talkin' about drainin' Red dry an' letting chickens use her hair for a nest."

Rogue giggled against his chest. "I like how he gets carried away," she admitted. "But now I really wanna find a hotel room."

"Yeah." He agreed and pressed a hot kiss to her lips. "Better put your shirt back on or we'll get pulled over." His hand cupped her pussy once more before he patted it gently. When she moved off his lap and back onto the bench seat to take his suggestion Logan slid his hand out of her panties and began to suck on his fingers. His groan of pleasure sent shivers over her skin. "I take it back," He growled.

"Take what back sugar?" Rogue tried to fix her hair into something that didn't look like she'd been freshly tumbled.

"First thing I'm gonna do is make a meal of you darlin'." The Wolverine growled his intentions and Rogue shivered. The gold faded slightly, Wolverine ceding control to the man, and Logan smiled down at her, hunger and affection mixed together perfectly. "Ain't just Wolverine talkin' Marie," he murmured as he pressed his lips to her forehead. "You don't know what it does to me, to him, to have you care about us. About what hurts us."

"Got an idea." She'd offered gently. "Same's it does to me, that you care about what happens to me." Did he understand at all how rare that was to her? That not even her parents had cared so much for her feelings or wellbeing? She was used to no one giving a damn. That was how it had been for so long. And then Logan had given her a ride and her entire life had changed.

* * *

_Author's Note: So it's been asked where Rogue and Logan are going. But with these two? They don't have any idea. Away is the only thing they're thinking of. Or at least, away and a bed. _

_I don't have plans for them to stay away from the mansion long term though. To me that's just another form of running away. But they do need some time to themselves and that's what they're aiming for in the short term._


	11. 11 as my memory rests

_Chapter 11)_

The smell of her was driving him insane. He wet his lips again, greedy for the lingering taste of his girl and resisted the urge to pull over and bury his tongue inside her until he'd had his fill of her sweetness. She was leaning against him, her breathing still slightly erratic. Every now and then Rogue looked up at him and that scent of hers flared with need.

He had to find a place to stop, somewhere with a decent room. He'd passed several motels in favor of driving further onward and he knew she'd seen them too. "Wanna get further away from the school 'fore we stop." He told her in answer to the unspoken question. "Figure to drive into the Catskills and keep goin' until we find a good place."

"You sure?" Her eyes were dark as emeralds and her voice was a throaty magnolia purr.

"I get you in bed and I'm not likely to let you out again," Logan admitted. "So I'd rather it be a bed that isn't filthy. Know you got my senses when you want 'em."

"Oh I'm with you there sugar," Marie agreed. "I'm just…curious about how long you think you can make the Wolverine wait."

"I figure another hour." He was pushing that, he knew it. But she was tired, her scent warm and drowsy. "Why don't you get some sleep? Been a long day for you and it's not over yet."

"Hmm…" That lazy little hum in her throat made him want to bite her again. He could smell his mark on her neck, the blood blooming in the lovebite. "You won't mind?"

"Baby, I want you well rested. Plannin' on keepin' you pretty busy tonight." Logan gave her a deliberately lecherous grin and got a husky chuckle in return. He tugged the seatbelt around her middle and stroked her hair, "An' feel free to use any part of me as a pillow."

It took a little maneuvering but eventually Rogue was curled up against him, sound asleep. She'd managed to pillow her head on his thigh and her hair was spilling over her shoulders and his legs. Pretty soon he was happily driving one handed, ignoring his lack of cigar, in order to run his fingers through her silky hair.

The Wolverine surged forward as his fingertips felt raised lines beneath her hair. Surgical scars that traced a pattern over her skull. They crept down to her spine, her shoulders and he knew they went all the way to her arms and legs. And that wasn't counting the marks on her back. Or the network of silvery lines over her thighs.

He'd wondered a lot since he'd found out about Rogue's scars, wondered what they'd been trying to do, if they'd succeeded or if they'd just been trying to see how much a mutant could take. She'd mentioned weapons, other mutants and the scientists but she hadn't found the objective yet. She'd still had spine though. Enough to shout a warning to him. Enough to stand up to him outside in the snow. Enough to keep hold of her own self against all the minds that surged through her brain.

When he'd found her in that bar she'd been so thin she must have weighed less than a hundred pounds. If it hadn't been for the look in her eyes Logan would have thought she was a child. Her figure had dwindled away to almost nothing.

Logan had never felt that his appetite was a plus before. But seeing the amount of food he could pack away had made her a lot less self-conscious about her own appetite. Even so, when they'd gotten to Xavier's she'd still been dangerously thin.

She'd still been gorgeous though, pretty enough that the bratty girls had been jealous. And when she'd gotten regular meals and healthy exercise she'd gone from too thin to the just perfect amount of curves. He'd almost swallowed his tongue when he saw her with Emma, all dolled up in dark green, every curve revealed.

It wasn't hard for him to get lost in the memories of that first year and a half at Xavier's. By the time Rogue began to stir it was near dark and they'd arrived at a good place for them to stay. He'd discovered the little inn by chance a few years back. It featured an attached café with food a few steps up from the average greasy spoon. Sure the place had a stupid name. Actually, stupid was being kind about the Dewdrop Inn. But the people that ran the place were decent, the beds were clean and the food was good.

"Hey darlin', I'm gonna get us a room, okay?" He slid his hand out of Rogue's hair and squeezed her shoulder.

"Hmm…Logan?" She was looking around with a blurred gaze and her eyes fell on him with a smile.

"That's me, baby." He helped her sit up and pressed a careful kiss to her forehead. "I'll be right back."

"I'll grab the bags then," She offered tiredly.

"Nah, just leave 'em," Logan was damned if she was going to carry the bags like a mule no matter how strong she was. "Just sit and take a deep breath darlin'. Figure out exactly what you want to happen."

He'd been unable to stop himself from kissing her again and she'd encouraged it by parting her lips under his mouth and nibbling on his lower lip. That had gotten a growl out of him and a pleased little smile from her.

When he'd returned with the news that they had a room and the host was waiting to show them up she'd grinned and helped him fish the bags out of the back of the cab. She was muttering to herself about needing a smaller go bag but he couldn't help grinning and teasing her.

"Baby if you had a smaller go bag I'd worry you weren't totally female." He chuckled, "I never did meet a woman who could pack light for a trip." That got him a smack on the bicep and he couldn't help the laugh that busted out of him as he grabbed the bags.

"Impossible man," Marie rolled her eyes at him.

He took a deep breath and caught a whiff of her warm liquid scent, still spicy with desire and sweet with her affection. "Yeah, but I'm yours." Logan growled playfully. "And you're mine."

"Damn straight sugar." The Rogue looked over her shoulder and winked at him flirtatiously.

* * *

The room was nice. The bed was simple, a mattress on a wood platform, every piece of furniture deceptively simple. The name of the place might be kitschy but that was the only thing that was. Logan liked this place because he knew he could fall into one of their beds and not break the damn thing. A body full of adamantium laced bones was pretty fuckin' heavy.

Rogue was exclaiming over the bathroom and the deep soaker tub and Logan knew the grin that was spread his lips was probably filthy. The idea of climbing into a tub with his girl and getting her real dirty and then real clean was something he'd thought about more than once when he'd been gone. The shower was another fantasy, along with a fireplace, the woods, and a million other places that were made better just because she was around.

"Sugar, you gonna unpack or do you wanna live out of your bag," Marie's voice yanked him out of his thoughts.

"Dunno." He shrugged and moved towards her. "Would you like to stay here for a while? Or d'you want to keep movin'?" His hands rested on her hips like he'd been touching her for years. There was no better place to be than next to Rogue.

"I think..." She turned in his grasp and looped her arms around his neck. "I think I'd like to stay here until we break the bed." He slid his hands to her waist and picked her up so she was rubbing against him as he walked.

"Yeah?" Logan grinned as he lowered her to the bed and covered her body with his. "Might be a while darlin'." He nuzzled her neck, breathing in her gorgeous scent and heard her breath catch with desire. "It's a good sturdy bed."

"All right," Rogue's mouth was on his neck, her lips tugging on his earlobe as she whispered. "Then let's stay until you're tired of fuckin' me in it."

That got a growl out of him, the Wolverine bursting to the fore. Rogue's shirt practically disintegrated under his claws. The room was fuzzy, hazy, except for her perfect creamy skin, dark hair and deep green eyes. Struggling to get the Wolverine back under control took its toll and Logan groaned. "Baby, I kinda want our first time to be you and me. Stuff like that just gets Wolverine goin' and I doubt you want our first time to be with him."

"I love the Wolverine," Rogue murmured. "I know it was him in the truck." Her lips were still moving over his neck and her hand had slid down his chest to open the fly of his jeans. "You can't keep control all the time sugar, no more'n I can."

He groaned as her smooth fingers drew his cock out of his jeans and her thumb rubbed over the head. "Just don't wanna hurt ya, or scare ya," Logan admitted as he bent to her breasts. His memory of doing this in the truck was hazy, but the taste of her skin, and the scent of her made everything clear in his mind again.

The first thing he'd done when they entered the room was take off his boots and he'd watched as Rogue had done the same and happily squished her toes in the carpet. She'd been laughing and saying she was John McClain and he'd actually gotten the joke. One thing they agreed on was that action movies were the best, funny and with tons of explosions and a little bit of sex or romance.

"Sugar, with the life I had b'fore you found me, you're really not all that scary." She sounded apologetic but it just got him grinning. His woman was absolutely fuckin' perfect. Her voice was breathless and he could smell that she wanted him as his mouth toyed with her nipples. He popped a claw, deliberately this time and sliced her pants off her legs.

In return she panted and opened her eyes long enough to narrow them in concentration and damn her scent smelt even better then. Logan grinned against her breast as his jeans pushed down his legs and his wifebeater pretty much shredded itself. Now he was naked and she was wearing nothing but his boxers with panties under them.

He didn't want his claws too close to her skin, refused to risk cutting her, and it felt so good to use his hands to push those remaining pieces of fabric off her body. He could see all of her now, paused in his nibbling of her flesh to look at her beautiful body, and marveled. Pure, creamy skin, a tiny mole on her hip that he'd have to nibble later, sable curls, damp over her pussy and long gorgeous legs to match her sensational breasts.

And maybe later he'd put her in every position he could think of but for now, he wanted what he was thinking of in the truck. His expression must have revealed his intent because Rogue's face became incredibly nervous. "Honey you don't hafta do..." she stuttered and continued. "I mean, just... oh my god!"

Her protests didn't last long as Logan pulled her thighs over his shoulders and buried his face in her pussy. She was hot and slick and so good, musky juices on his chin and lips and he couldn't help growling into her as she tried to squirm away at first. He kept one hand on her hip while the other palmed one of her breasts and forced her body to remain under his tongue.

Marie was moaning now, his lips and tongue had found her clit and she liked that. He could smell it, her blood pounded in her veins, engorged the sensitive bundle of nerves and he had to be careful. He couldn't be too rough with that tender flesh. Her hips arched up to his mouth as she cried out with a particularly good caress and the Wolverine growled his pleasure. That shocked and incited her further and Rogue ground her body into his mouth desperately.

He felt her soft hand cover his over her breast, holding his palm to that soft skin. He rubbed carefully and caught the budded tip between his fingers, rolling his digits against each other to stimulate her aching body. She cried out again, a strangled version of his name and he felt a shudder from deep inside her body.

'Oh fuck yeah.' It was all he could think as her hips rolled, twitching frantically up to his mouth. He let go of her hip and reached up for her other breast, teasing her nipple with his fingers before he palmed and squeezed the firm mound. His name was almost a scream this time as she searched frantically for her pleasure.

He didn't want to stop pleasuring her to speak, could only urge her on in his thoughts as Rogue rocked and strained up to his lips. She was panting, moans and gasps and cries filling the air around them and the Wolverine reveled in her. She was close, so close, his girl, Logan growled against her and she gave a startled shriek and every muscle in her body stiffened, strained for one glorious perfect moment before Rogue shattered under his tongue.

God she was fuckin' perfect. Gorgeous mindless cries and frantic shuddering. Her hands were tugging at him, her juices all over his chin and chest. And god damn she felt so right under him. He pushed upwards, let her thighs slide down his body and rubbed his painfully hard cock against her pussy. Her eyes flew open and met his. He knew damn well that his gaze was somewhere between the man and the Wolverine but at the moment he couldn't bring himself to care.

"Sugar, why're you waitin'," Rogue's moan was all he needed to hear. Pushing into her slowly so she could get used to his thickness was the hardest thing he'd ever done besides leaving her. Her breath inhaled in a series of rising gasps as he slid inside of her body. He didn't dare go all the way, not immediately. He wasn't a small man. The Wolverine was built for procreation, for pleasing and mating and if he wasn't careful he could hurt her even if she wasn't a virgin anymore.

He'd gripped her hips instead of her breasts, held her body still and forced himself to do this easy. Rogue's body quivered with sensation even as he held himself unmoving and waited for her to adjust. But that didn't mean he couldn't help her along. It felt like the most perfect thing in the world to bend forward and fasten his mouth to her lips. Those sweet moaning gasps filled his mouth now and he nearly moaned with the pleasure of it.

A slow rotation of his hips and his pretty Marie cried out in bliss. He sank deeper inside her as she tilted her hips and it was his turn to moan. She was so silky wet and hot around him, squeezing him tightly. When he kissed her again, moved his hand from her hip to her breast he felt her body contract around his desperately hard flesh and he couldn't help sliding back and then forward a bit deeper.

Rogue's hands pressed down on his back, pulling him closer and her mouth sucked on the skin of his shoulder as he began to carefully pump his body in and out of hers. He couldn't believe how good she felt around him. She was so right, her scent pure with love and need, no pain or fear souring it in his nose, no trace of tolerant necessity. He was with his woman, he was fucking his woman good and she liked it.

The Wolverine was straining at the leash and Logan growled as Rogue's body tightened again. "God darlin'," he groaned.

"Please," Rogue panted in his ear and her hips met his sharply. She met his hips with hers again and he groaned at the feel of her slender body responding to his. To meet him halfway, to actively try to keep up with him, she was perfect.

Logan couldn't stop the moan into her hair as he rolled her over him. She wound up straddling his hips while he lay on his back. Pulling her down so he could suck on her tits angled her so he would hit every secret sweet spot inside her body when he moved. Her wail of need was like music as he sucked and licked her pretty breasts and his hands helped her ride him.

The slap of flesh meeting, the scent of their fluids, and how perfect Rogue looked when she was riding him combined to make his hands just a little rougher. He moved her body now, harder and harder, pumping her up and down his cock. He could feel the cling and pull of her damp tissue and the quake of her flesh around him as he dragged her up and down his body.

When she began to come again his mouth was sucking hard on her pretty tits. He was groaning and half way to begging her to come around his cock when it started. He'd never love anything like the sound of her scream of shock as ecstasy crashed down on her body. It flung her towards him, arching her breasts to his mouth and shaking her violently.

But it wasn't enough. Trouble always found him. Danger always tracked his steps. He had to keep going, had to prove to her that he was worth the trouble, that he was worth keeping, worthy of being hers. Another swivel of his hips, his fingers squeezing her ass as he pushed hard up into her and brought her body down onto his cock and she screamed again. A flood of honey, juices soaking his cock and he lost control.

Her breasts were strewn with tiny love bites, her hips had fingerprint sized bruises and her ass damn near had his palm print on it. He'd gripped her that hard as she came again and he'd shouted her name. It had only taken a few more strokes of her body over his, her flesh just as greedy as his for more.

When he'd come inside her it had been like being born, everything he was, would ever be, would ever want or know pouring into her body. She'd sprawled over him, her body still vibrating slightly while he'd shuddered beneath her and panted for air.

Neither of them had been willing to move for a while. He hadn't wanted to let go of her. The only reason they'd shifted positions at all had been because she'd shivered in the air conditioning. But in the aftermath of their first time together he'd felt closer to her than he'd ever felt to another person. And from the way her hands clung to him, Rogue felt the same way.

* * *

_Author's Note: So I worried I got too sentimental/sappy at the end. But I justified it with the idea that for the first time in either of their memories they're accepted and loved for who they are. That's worth a little sentiment. But what do all of you think?_

_But hey they made it to a bed! Wonder where they'll go from here… Gimme a few days folks…I have some ideas._

_Thanks for reading and for all the faves, follows and reviews. I welcome questions, comments, constructive criticism and all kinds of great thoughts. _


	12. 12 but never forgets what I lost

_Chapter 12)_

Rogue stretched and let a lazy moan of contentment sigh out of her lips. Something about a good stretch, the feeling of muscle expanding, the near euphoric sensation of pushing the body, made her feel better than nearly anything else in the world.

Logan's hand was on her stomach and his fingers twitched and flexed over her skin, pulling her back against his body possessively. That was a better feeling than stretching. His big body behind her, warm and heavy and trying to take care of her even in sleep.

She looked down at that big hand, deceptively relaxed and ran her fingers over his knuckles. Before last night she would have bet money that something about sex would freak her out. The act of penetration, the sounds of it, or even the pleasure that took over her mind and body, she hadn't been sure what it would be. But she'd been almost certain that she'd panic at one point or another.

But she hadn't. And she was fairly sure that was due to Logan.

Rogue looked over her shoulder at her sleeping man and smiled. There'd been a few bad moments. The attempt to pleasure him orally had seemed like a non starter but he'd seemed to take such joy in how she was looking at him. She'd been afraid of putting his member in her mouth, remembering the tortures of specially made gags that kept her teeth from hurting a man. She'd been nuzzling him with her lips, inhaling and trying to work up her nerve when he'd groaned and told her how good she felt to him. Apparently nobody had ever really bothered with taking things slowly with Logan and her hesitation was the sweetest sort of torture.

It was funny; someone unfamiliar with Logan and the Wolverine might have thought he'd be impatient with her. That the animal would think about sex and only that. But both Logan and Wolverine were filled with wonder over her willingness to touch him. He'd lain back on the pillows and watched her, growing more and more aroused but he hadn't ever tried to hurry her along. And once she got her courage up he'd left the pace up to her.

In the end she hadn't had the nerve to finish him but Logan had been groaning his need to be inside her. When she'd sat up and given him a shy smile he'd grinned like a boy and pulled her on top of him again. She had no experience being in charge of sex but once again he'd let her take the lead.

Another bad moment had come when he'd been behind her. She'd been up on her knees, Logan rubbing against her and when she'd lost her balance and fallen to all fours fear had shot through her body. Contrary to what she'd thought he would do when confronted with her fears Logan hadn't called a halt to their activities or made a big deal out of it. He hadn't stopped their lovemaking to talk it out.

Instead he'd helped her back up, balanced her so she was steady and positioned them both so they were kneeling and his hands were on either side of hers. He'd pushed inside her, slow and steady, until he was so deep she was moaning. His mouth had left little biting kisses on her shoulders and spine while one of his hands had caressed her breasts and belly and clit.

He hadn't lost control, hadn't slowed or quickened his pace that time, though she had moaned and screamed and cried and begged for him to finish her. She'd come four times while he drew out her pleasure and the last had been the only time he'd entered her with more force. She'd been able to feel his body, jerking hotly, flooding hers and loved the feel of his moan on her neck.

She'd asked him finally, why he didn't stop and try to get her to talk about what bothered her. And he'd surprised her again. "Hell darlin', everybody's got shit they don't like," he'd shrugged matter of factly. "You wanna talk shit out, we will. You wanna push back against those fears, then we will. But it's our first night together. Got plenty that we can do that don't freak either of us out. Way I see it now's not the time to screw with what's working." He'd paused a moment and then he'd looked at her with so much intensity that she'd choked up. "Rogue... Marie, I'm just so damn glad you're with me. You're with me an' your willin'... You got no idea how grateful I am that you're even willin' to take a chance with me."

"So there's stuff that worries you too?" She'd asked softly. The twisting knot burning in her stomach had her wringing her hands like a dishrag until he'd taken a deep breath and pulled her into his arms.

"Baby there's stuff that terrifies me," Logan had admitted. "Don't be ashamed of who you are, or how we are together. Maybe we won't ever be the vanilla definition of normal. But that don't matter to me. Long's we're together for it." He'd kissed her hair, the white streak she still sometimes hated and her forehead and then her shoulders and thighs and all the scars that were a silver network over her poison skin. "That okay with you?"

She'd known that he was asking a helluva lot more than the words implied. The Wolverine was not a man who liked to talk a lot. That he was willing to talk about this with her was just one more proof of how much he cared. And if he needed her to tell him that he was enough for her, that she would trust him and take care of him like he did her... Well that wasn't a lot to ask considering how she felt about him.

Rogue's little confession regarding her feelings for him had led to the first time she'd ever enjoyed sex in the missionary position. The Wolverine had come out and steadfastly refused retreat until she'd been mindless with passion and pleasure. Only when she was limp, panting and clinging to his body like a rock in a stormy sea had the Wolverine let Logan back out. His near panicked look had only evoked an exhausted giggle. "Sugar, I don't mean to make fun, but the only thing Wolverine seems interested in doin' is fuckin' me into the mattress until all I can do is come so hard my teeth rattle."

He'd sighed in relief and muttered something about even dumb animals being wrapped around her fingers. She'd been almost certain that he wasn't talking about the Wolverine, not entirely. But he'd curled his body around hers, dragged the blankets and sheets over their exhausted bodies and held her close when she started to fall asleep.

She'd woken in the night to gentle fingers tracing her face and shoulders, soft kisses following fingertips and the gentlest lovemaking yet when she'd been awake enough to return the caresses. She'd been surprised to see the Wolverine's golden eyes looking down at her. He'd woken without Logan, and had proven that he cared for her just as much as the man, in the only way he knew. "It's alright," Marie had whispered. "I love you too Sugar. You and Logan. An' I know you both love me. You don't gotta prove it by puttin' a collar on. I like you wild."

The satisfied growl had been erotic on her skin, he'd kissed her harder and she'd begun to take the lead to his surprise. It had been a little funny to see the Wolverine let her do what she wanted with him. But riding him was different than Logan. He didn't speak, only growled or groaned his pleasure and his hands were careful but not quite as gentle. Still he'd made certain she was satisfied, and when she'd started to fall asleep again he'd growled, "Mine." And kissed her again.

Now she was snuggled, and that was the only word for it, in bed with her lover who just happened to be one of the most terrifying men in the mutant community. Not that she was much of a slouch herself. The Rogue had a reputation of her own.

"Darlin' if you keep lyin' there lookin' so gorgeous I'mma have to do somethin' about it," Logan's gruff voice was lazy with satisfaction.

Rogue looked up at him with a pleased smile and turned so she was facing him. "And what do you think you should do?"

"Oh, somethin' like this," Logan rolled her so she was under his very hard, very hungry body and began to use his mouth to devastating effect.

* * *

Rogue took a deep breath and began to work. Much as she adored Logan and much as she would like to spend every minute in bed with him, she had work she needed to do. Since the professor hadn't been a lot of help to her she'd used what she'd learned from Emma and the other telepath in her head along with Hank's suggestions. And every day she'd worked at controlling her own mutation and assimilating the others she'd absorbed into her mind. It was a little odd, she had enough people in her head for a good old fashioned mob. At least that was how it seemed. But they never tried to take over, not since she'd learned to stand up for herself. She was still Marie. Still the Rogue.

The first day she'd gotten out of bed to sit in lotus position on the floor Logan had followed her curiously. She'd ended up answering his questions and he'd had more than a few suggestions for handling the more physical mutations like his. In the days after that he'd nap on the bed or read and when she was done they'd go and get breakfast.

Today Logan was reading. And she was trying to exercise the talent she'd picked up from the German mutant. She'd only met him once, but she'd had to absorb a great deal of him. He'd been an aristocratic looking man. It was an interesting talent, helpful in a lot of ways. She was doing her best to feel all of the metal in the room without moving it when Logan growled slightly.

"Are you all right?" Her eyes snapped open and she turned to look at him. The Wolverine was staring out at her from Logan's face and Rogue tilted her head. "Sugar, did I hurt you?" She sat on the side of the bed and put her palm on his thigh.

"Take more than a tickle like that to hurt me," Logan recovered enough to control his animal side. "Just felt odd for a minute or two there." He smirked at her, "But I'm flattered that you're so concerned."

"Jackass," Marie rolled her eyes at him. "I was workin' with a metal mutation. The mutant...he can manipulate any metal. I was worried I'd pulled on you or somethin'."

"You should see if you can lift me." The suggestion came along with another wicked grin.

"I was only trying to sense all the metal in the room," Rogue sniped back at him. "I didn't realize your skull was solid."

That got him laughing and he sat up to kiss her, a fast caress of his mouth on hers. "Go on then darlin'."

She sighed and closed her eyes, grabbed hold of the mutation and began to send out tendrils of thought, visualizing the room in her minds eye and trying to feel the metal in it. Not surprisingly Logan had the biggest chunk of it. He was on his side, holding a book in his hand, the other hand supporting his head.

She could almost picture his skeleton. It felt like sonar or radar, the way she knew where all the metal was. Curiously she sifted through the images and found his spine, the curves of each vertebrae leading up to his skull. Everything was perfect, each bone, each corresponding covering of metal. Right up to the skull. And there things took an abrupt turn.

"Logan," She opened her eyes and looked at him. "Has anyone ever shot you in the head?" She frowned in concern.

"Yeah," He chuckled. "I seem to encourage that behavior in a certain type a person." His shrug was unconcerned. "Bullets always get pushed back out again."

"These aren't though," She looked at him. "I can feel them. They're adamantium, just like your skeleton. Like someone shot you in the head and they're still in your brain. Your skull healed over 'em."

"I have adamantium bullets in my brain and no one's noticed?" Logan didn't seem to doubt her so much as he was surprised. "You'd think that geniuses at the Institute woulda figured that out wouldn't you?"

"Does an X-ray see past adamantium?" Rogue asked worriedly. "I..." She frowned, "I just wonder, if because of where they are, if that's why you can't remember your past."

"Where are they?" Logan looked intrigued instead of worried and Marie nearly sighed. The man never had a normal reaction to anything.

"They're right behind your forehead," She tapped that area of his skull. "If they're still in your brain...then if you could get them removed you might remember who you are."

"Yeah," He was looking at her thoughtfully but she could feel that he was uneasy. That empath in her head loved to pipe up with that sort of observation every now and then. Smart ass. "You sure that'd be a good thing darlin'?"

"I thought that's what you wanted," Rogue tilted her head at him and crept closer so she could lean against his legs and look up at his face. His arms encircled her and a bit of the tension eased out of both of them.

"In some ways I do," Logan nodded. "But then I think is it worth risking what I've got now? For answers that might not be so nice?" He held out a hand and the claws snicked out. "Whatever else I am baby, I'm a killer. And odds are that I wasn't a very nice guy. Hell I'm not exactly a nice guy now."

"But you're a good man," Rogue repeated her assessment from days ago in the truck. "And you're my man Logan. I've known you for more than five years now. And you're mine. Memories, have 'em or don't, aren't gonna change that."

"Hmm..." He was thinking, she knew that look well enough to know. He was weighing the odds and trying to decide if it was worth it. "All right." He said finally and looked her straight in the eyes. "I want you to do it. Use what you got in the labs and get those bullets out of me."

"Are you sure you don't want Jean to do it? Like surgically? Or Beast?" Rogue couldn't believe he wanted her to do it. She didn't have any medical expertise.

"Nobody can cut through adamantium darlin'," Logan said quietly. "It can only be shaped when it's in liquid form and after that...well it's pretty much unbreakable."

"What if I kill you?" It was her deepest fear, the thing that kept her from being Rogue all the way through, kept her from being heartless. If she wasn't still Marie inside, still able to fear and love, to forgive and protect then the Rogue would be nothing more than what the labs made her. The Rogue would die to protect Logan because of who she was inside. And Logan was the only one who knew the truth of her. "Logan I can't, I-"

"You won't," He kissed her hair in reassurance. "I've lived with 'em in there for at least twenty years. It's not like they're meant to be there."

"I..." She needed to think. More than almost anything she wanted to give him answers. But she wanted him alive and with her more than that. That was what she wanted. "I don't wanna hurt you sugar." She was pleading, she could hear it in her voice, and she hated that but he had to understand just how much the idea of hurting him scared her. She didn't want to hurt anyone really, but especially him.

"Havin' 'em taken out can't hurt anymore than being shot with them," Wolverine coaxed her. "If them going in didn't kill me then you won't kill me taking them out." As he always did he'd gotten to the heart of her fear.

"I..." She looked around the room and took a deep breath. "I'll do it. But not here." Rogue touched his whiskered chin gently and smiled when he looked curious. "I like this place. I don't wanna remember hurting you here. Or getting blood on their tiles or bedding. I'd like to be able to come back."

"You wanna go back to the Institute to do it," Logan groaned as he figured out what she wanted.

"I want Hank around to sedate you some and I want a sterile environment for you to heal in," She retorted. "I want him to be able to check on you. I've got your senses when I tap into them but the more emotional I am the harder it is to control. I'd end up ripping the lab apart if I got too upset."

"Does anybody there know exactly how many people you've got up in your head, or who they are?" Logan asked thoughtfully.

"They know I have a couple telepaths, an empath, someone they think is telekinetic and you. They know I've gotten super strength and that I can fly. And I've gotten Jubilee and Kitty accidentally. Firestar and Pyro were on purpose because they wanted me to have more offensive abilities." Rogue murmured with a half smile at the thought of her friends. "But they don't know everything." She looked up at him, "I think that Hank suspects. He's quite intelligent and honestly there's very little that gets past him. But Jean and the Professor and Scott..." She shrugged. "The Professor wants to help but he can't get into my mind. My thoughts used to be loud, when I was upset I'd start projecting them. But Emma taught me how to stop that, to shield my thoughts. If I hadn't used the telepathic mutation I absorbed to give him the memory of you teaching me to dance he would never have been able to see it. He can't invade my mind without getting a headache. Emma has tried, a lot, just to see if she could help me, but she can't get past all the voices."

"And Jean doesn't bother with you and Scott listens to Jean," Logan muttered. "So they just...what? Train with you and you're hidin' half of what you can do or how did that work?"

"I've worked with all the mutations. The telepaths are easiest. I'm so used to controlling the actual personalities in my brain that blocking out other thoughts isn't that hard. For a while Jean or Xavier could hear me if I was upset, I'd be so emotional I'd project my thoughts. Loud thinking is what Emma called it. But Emma was really helpful and even after she left her shadow taught me about shields and quieter thinking." Rogue smirked a bit, "And her diamond skin is great too. But even if I didn't have it my skin is pretty invulnerable thanks to the mutant who gave me flight."

Rogue explained quietly. "The strength and flight are helpful, as is the metal mutation. Even though they keep calling it telekinesis. So I've trained with the ones that the team would find the most useful. One of the mutations can make objects explode. I've decided to work with that one next, get a better handle on that. The man was an empath and I've been using that portion of his talent for years. Feelings are harder to block than thoughts."

"So they put you on the team, sent you out, trained with you, and none of 'em really know what you can do?" Her lover rolled his eyes. "I have a hard time believin' Ro and Kurt are that stupid."

"They're not." Rogue chuckled, "Storm offered to let me absorb her, but I decided the weather would be too much trouble. Because there's always weather and I'd have to feel it all the time. And she was still a little scared." His hands were rubbing her shoulders affectionately and she sighed with pleasure. "Kurt actually shaved some of his fur off his arm and got me to touch him. He said that being able to teleport might come in handy. Even if I never have to use it, he told me he'd feel better if his 'little fraulein' had the option."

"Knew I liked the elf," the Wolverine growled his appreciation. "So you're not exactly helpless."

"Nope." She giggled and used her strength to push him onto his back. "They don't seem to understand that I could twist you into five different yoga positions if you ever hurt me. It's like they're so conditioned to seeing me as a helpless victim and you as a terrifying despoiler of innocents that they can't see us as we are."

"Despoiler of innocents huh," Wolverine rolled over her and began to kiss her neck teasingly. "I only see one person here I want to 'spoil'."

"Hmm..." She sighed happily as his lips pressed to her pulse and nibbled on her skin tenderly. "Do you agree with me though? We should go back to get the bullets out?"

"Well I want you to do it," the feral mutant sighed. "So I guess if you're gonna it should be on your terms."

"In a few days," Rogue moaned as Logan's hands began to wander over her body. "I want some more time with you here sugar."

"No arguments from me." He was removing her clothing and his and she really didn't want to think of anything but him for a long time.

* * *

_Author's Note: So a little fluffy and a little bit of plot to move us along. I want them back at the mansion to deal with a few things. I'm trying very hard to not let Rogue turn into a Mary Sue. So she's going to have to work at some things._

_We're also going to have a bit of a surprise coming up... but I'm very pleased because I've figured out where I want this to go and how it should end. Hope you're all liking it._

_Oh, also we'll see a new minor character pop up, so guesses as to who?_

_And we know that Rogue was in a lab and she was forced to absorb people there. I've hinted at a few. Any suggestions for who else? _

_I've done some research into the Marvel/X-Men universe but any and all suggestions are welcome. After all we don't know how many people Rogue has absorbed and then found she couldn't use their mutation or people who she never touched. I'd love to hear from you guys regarding this. _


	13. 13 wake me up when September ends

_Chapter 13)_

He was willing to bet that Chuck hadn't expected them to be back after only a week or so. He knew he'd intended to stay away a lot longer. He wanted time with his girl. Time to just be themselves and get to know each other all over again. Without everyone in the damn mansion nosing in on them.

It was mostly indulgence on his part, he'd admit that much. He loved making Marie moan and scream. She didn't know the meaning of the word artifice with him. He'd been with a lot of women but none of them had ever cared about more than getting what they wanted from him. And he hadn't given a damn about them. But with his girl, it was different. Simpler in some ways, incredibly complex in others.

Neither of them had to pretend anything. They'd tried to push their boundaries a bit, shoving back at the memories that scared them both. There was a reason she ended up on top of him so often. Just as there was a motive behind him exhausting her with pleasure. She needed a modicum of control to feel safe with sex. He needed to know he could be gentle with her. That sex didn't have to be all about getting his rocks off. And both of them were finally accepting the fact that neither one of them had any plans to leave.

They'd trusted each other before. Now it went deeper. Nothing could split them up, not even death.

"Sugar are you sittin' over there worrying about me keeping your mutation on?" She slanted a glance at him, dark green eyes amused and affectionate as they drove through Westchester.

"Just glad you agreed you would," He admitted. "I haven't aged a day since I woke up."

"I get it Logan," Her voice was quiet but held a wealth of understanding. "You and I, we've been alone too long to not hang on tight now that we've got each other." Her gaze turned stern on him and she pointed her finger sharply, "But the deal is still that I go out with the team. You come with if you like, but you don't stop me."

"Doubt I could if I wanted to," Wolverine chuckled. "Pretty sure you're stronger than me darlin'." It was true. Whatever mutation it was that made her skin invulnerable and let her fly also gave her phenomenal strength.

"Yeah," She sighed. "Just… wish I knew her name, you know?" Rogue looked at him, "Seems disrespectful still."

"To use it and not know her name?" He nodded calmly as he turned down the street that led to the estate. "Maybe Xavier can help with that. He knows a lotta mutants. If you can show him faces, maybe he can give ya names."

"It's a thought." She nodded slowly. "I'd rather do it with Emma though. The Professor always makes me feel all guilty and judged. But Emma's awfully busy still. 'Gelica says she's got a few kids out of a lab and they're havin' a hard time."

The Wolverine growled and Logan took a deep breath to get control of the animal side. He'd been worried at first, that the Wolverine would hurt Marie, that the animal wouldn't have the patience for anything but the Rogue. But the animal had surprised him. And so had Marie. She loved both of them. Not one side or the other. She loved and needed each half of him and refused to 'put a collar' on either of them.

He pulled the truck over a mile before the gates and pulled her into his arms. "We don't gotta do this darlin'." Logan said gruffly. "We can just keep drivin', figure out my memories later." He knew the minute they set foot in the Institute there'd be gossip, nosiness and general irritation for both of them.

"We've done enough runnin' don't you think sugar?" Rogue's voice was soft as she returned the embrace. She felt so right, wrapped up against him, so soft and gentle. His velvet and silk woman with a spine of adamantium. Nothing broke her. "It ain't like we can't leave again if we like."

"Yeah," He looked down into those gorgeous green eyes. "Guess I just remembered what its like for you here."

"It's the same for you," Marie reminded him stubbornly. "Scott calls you an animal; Jean thinks you're no good. Xavier's condescending."

"Yeah but I don't care what they think of me, long's I got you." Logan muttered.

"Well if that redheaded harpy looks at you sideways I'm gonna use one of these mutations to make her bald someway or other." His girl grumbled half heartedly and raised her face for a kiss.

Obliging her was no hardship at all and he would have gone on doing so if the truck hadn't rocked unsteadily. He inhaled and rolled his eyes. "Get off my damn truck Warren, or I'll pluck all those pretty feathers and put you in a pie."

The laugh was good humored as the good looking man descended to the ground. Huge white wings spread out behind him before folding against his back. "Thought you'd be gone for months. Xavier said you'd taken off a few days before I got here."

"Rogue's got an idea of how to get my memory back," Logan gestured from the winged mutant to his woman. "Rogue that's Warren. People call him Angel, for obvious reasons. "Warren, this is Rogue."

"You're Rogue?" Warren was surprised by her appearance. Apparently she didn't match up to the general description at the mansion. "Nice to meet you." He recovered quickly and held out his hand. Rogue grinned and pulled her sleeve over her skin before she shook his hand.

"Good to meet you," She nodded. "You an' Storm an' Firestar been flyin' around a lot?"

"Some," He nodded. "Angelica's doing a sweep on the east side of the estate." He looked around, "I'd better get back to it. I'll see you two back at the house." With a powerful sweep of his wings he pushed back up into the sky and Rogue whistled low as she watched.

"Damn that's a pretty man." She kissed Logan gently on the lips and it was all he could do to keep the Wolverine from growling and reminding her of who she belonged to. Something of the animal's irritation must have shown in his eyes, or maybe the empath in her head was helping Rogue cheat again because she giggled. It was a sweet low sound that never failed to make the animal turn to mush. "Aw sugar, haven't you figured out I don't like my men pretty?" Her mouth brushed over the whiskers on his jaw and the warmth of her was enough to get the Wolverine growling for a different reason. "I like my man big, rugged and rough. Handsome but I don't want him pretty, not ever."

Rogue had pushed herself up against him so he was looking up into those gorgeous eyes and that pretty mouth of hers was right where he wanted it. "You're not pretty sugar," She purred against his mouth. "You're a man. Boys are pretty. Scott an' Bobby, they're pretty. But you…" Her hands drifted over his shoulders and her expression as hungry. "My Wolverine… my Logan… you're just perfect for me."

He didn't recall anyone ever telling him that he was perfect the way he was. One more thing that made Rogue perfect for him he guessed. "Darlin' you're gonna end up fucked hard in the back of my truck and it ain't me who likes to be on top all the time. Sure you wanna give folks an eyeful?"

Her smirk was wicked, "I dunno. I like you on top of me you know. Maybe it'll be your ass everyone'll get a look at."

"You need a lesson in outdoor sex," Logan decided with a grin. "But I don't have time to give it to you now." He looked out the window. "Warren'll report back and then we're gonna have a welcoming committee and a flight escort."

"You got time to kiss me before we get more company?" Her mouth was just too damn perfect and he pulled her down to him. Soft, sweet, hot lips and tongue moaning into his mouth as he drank her in.

"I love you Marie, love the Rogue," He finally got the words past the ache in his chest and murmured them against her lips. He could smell the joy that bloomed through her scent and could have kicked himself for not giving her the words sooner.

"I know you do sugar," She whispered back. "I just didn't think you'd tell me for a few more years."

"Nah." He kissed her again. "I'm dumb but I ain't that dumb."

* * *

The drive up to the mansion started out smoothly. It ended with Firestar hovering over the truck waiting until they came out. Logan rolled his eyes but the girl didn't land on the truck or anything. Warren joined her after a moment, careful to keep his wings away from Firestar's heat waves.

"Ya'll look a little silly up there," Rogue commented as she slid out of the truck. Logan grabbed the dufflebags while Rogue slung her backpack over her shoulder. "Why don't you just land?"

"Are you back?" Firestar asked as she did as Rogue suggested. Logan tilted his head thoughtfully. The girl sounded a little desperate.

"Not for long," Rogue was shaking her head to the red head's obvious disappointment. "Got something medical to take care of, then we're gonna take off."

"Jean givin' you a hard time now that Rogue ain't around to poke at?" Logan asked and from the other girl's flush and embarrassed scent that was a big reason for the question.

"She hasn't ever liked me, and even less since Rogue and I are friends," The quiet girl offered. "With Rogue leaving, with you no less, she's gotten worse. Pyro and I are trying to avoid her as much as we can."

Logan growled absently at the thought of Jean mistreating Rogue's friends. From what he could tell, apart from the adults, Angelica and St. John were the only ones who were there for Rogue while he was gone. "You talk to the Professor about it?"

Firestar shrugged uncomfortably, "It hadn't even been two weeks."

"Shit," Logan sighed and looked at Rogue. "Well darlin', let's dump our stuff in one of the rooms, you pick, and we'll go talk to Xavier."

"I'll ask Hank if he'll join us. He's the medical doctor I trust the most," Rogue agreed. She smiled, "As for which room, I like yours the best. Let's hang our hats there."

"It does have a slightly bigger bed," he grinned wickedly and she winked at him.

* * *

The hardest part about this was going to be explaining to the Professor what she could do, all of what she could do and how. Besides Logan, Hank was the only X-Man who suspected she was more capable than she had revealed to the rest of the team. And part of her was distracted, thinking about Jean, wondering how it was that she'd gotten so much worse and the professor hadn't said anything.

"I'm surprised to see you back so soon," Professor Xavier was smiling as he extended his hand Logan. His surprise when he saw her without gloves was more like shock. "Rogue…have you actually…" His voice broke and his eyes were damp. "My dear girl, have you managed to control your skin?" He looked so hopeful for her, so damned happy that she felt guilty for not telling him earlier.

"I've been able to control it for a while," She admitted quietly. "I wanted Logan to be the first to know." She slipped her hand into her lover's and smiled when he gripped it tightly but gently. "It's not the sort of thing you say in a phone call."

"No," Xavier's smile grew to a grin. "I'm so pleased for you. For you both. I have some idea of how hard it must have been for you these past years." When she raised an eyebrow he did the same, "You're not the only one with a touch of empathy my dear. I've spend so much time inside the minds and memories of others…I would have to be completely unfeeling to not gain a sense of what my children go through due to their talents."

Logan's voice was a rumble of impatience, "Yeah, I'm real glad you're happy for us Chuck. But I ain't thrilled with how you've let Jean run roughshod all over Rogue and her friends. That one doesn't have any sympathy or empathy for my girl."

"Why haven't I curbed her?" Xavier spread his hands as he voiced Logan's unspoken question. Rogue nodded and the Wolverine growled his annoyed agreement. "Simply put, I am unable."

"Say what?" Rogue's question wasn't elegantly phrased but it was definitely echoed by Logan's expression. She looked from the professor to Logan and back and knew she looked, as she felt, completely confused.

"Jean has always…struggled with her gifts. She comes from an affluent family, and she's always felt a certain…elevation due her." The Professor sighed slightly, "But in the beginning, despite being a bit of a snob, she was kind and caring. A truly good woman."

"So what the fuck happened to her," Logan shot back. "Because she's been gettin' worse by the day."

"Jean never wanted her gifts. She dealt with them reluctantly," Xavier began to explain. "And for a power of the mind, that is dangerous. I didn't realize what she'd done until a decade ago. Shortly before you came to us Logan, I found a…block in her mind."

"A block," Rogue frowned. "A mental block? Like something you'd put in front of memories that hurt?" Xavier nodded his affirmation and gave her a quizzical look. Rogue shrugged, "I was curious so Emma and I spent a lot of time talking about her gift, about how it could be used."

"I thought initially that perhaps you had a block on your memories Logan, but I sensed no such thing in your mind. Such a block can be helpful; it keeps the memories from overwhelming a person day to day, until they can speak to someone who can help. The block is usually designed to wear down as the individuals psyche strengthens and grows healthy enough to deal with the memories." Charles Xavier looked more troubled than Rogue had ever seen him.

"Hers isn't breaking down is it?" Rogue asked quietly. "It's been there since she manifested."

"Exactly," The telepath nodded. "And I am afraid that it is…affecting her. She is using it to…eliminate what she perceives as weaknesses, emotions and abilities she doesn't wish to face. She's blocked the greater part of her telekinesis and far too much of her personality." He sighed, "She has in effect, created a split personality."

"So the Jean we see is only part of her," Logan said quietly. "We're getting the superficial, snobby, telepath who thinks she's always right."

"And the telekinetic with all the hurt and pain Jean's felt over the years is behind the block," Rogue murmured.

"And unfortunately without any emotional pain her compassion has been swiftly eroding along with her patience and temper," Xavier added. "The Jean Grey I knew was a good woman, kind and intelligent, but compassionate and strong willed. Unfortunately it seems her strength of will is what has created and maintained the block."

Marie looked at Xavier in horror as she tried to determine the implications of Jean's mental issues. "So what happens when the block breaks down completely. Her mind is going to be…really…" She didn't want to say fucked up but she didn't know how to describe it.

"Damaged," Xavier summarized their thoughts. "And her mutation uncontrollable because she's had so little teaching in how to manage it."

"She'll go nuts," Logan shook his head. "Great."

"Professor why haven't you tried to do something," Rogue shook her head in confusion. Regardless of his inability to help her, Xavier never left something untried. He was the most powerful telepath in the world.

"I have my dear," Xavier responded sadly. "And the result nearly killed me. I only survived by taking hold of her mind and marching her out the door."

"And once you weren't around she wasn't feeling threatened," Logan narrowed his eyes. "Can't we lock her up and you can try again?"

"Logan have you ever experienced an out of control telekinetic with years of suffering fueling their power?" The Professor's voice was mild though the question was loaded with tension.

Rogue flipped through the shadow minds she held and had a quick conference with the oldest of them. "Holy shit," She breathed. "Logan, telekinesis…that's moving molecules; it's making things move."

"Yeah darlin' I know that much," he nodded with a smirk.

"Sugar, the only thing that keeps telekinesis from turning into pyrokinesis is the speed of the movement." Rogue looked at the professor. "Jean tried to burn you alive in this room didn't she?"

The professor looked older than she'd ever seen him and profoundly tired. "I'm afraid so." He looked at them, "So you see, until we can come up with a way to contain and control her, I'm afraid Jean will be, as you said, running roughshod over all of us for the time being."

"I've got a way to solve that," Rogue didn't quite snarl but it was close. She looked at Logan. He'd know what she was going to do. He wouldn't like it but he'd understand. She couldn't just...ignore this. Before he could grab her arm and try to come with her she pulled on Kurt's mutation and popped out of Xavier's office.

She ended up on the roof. Her safe zone after a flight, she knew the roof very well. Now to find Jean. Emma's telepathy, combined with Betsy's, was powerful enough to seek out Jean's mind. The trick was finding her without alerting the redhead that she was looking. "Shopping," Rogue muttered. "That figures."

She frowned and did a quick evaluation. Kurt's mutation didn't draw on her energy very much. He seemed to pull on the energy of the world around him in order to move. Unlike telepathy or metal manipulation, his mutation didn't draw on her personal energy. So she would be able to retrieve Jean and pop into the sublevels of the mansion without difficulty.

Rogue took a deep breath and jumped.

The popping noise startled Jean but at least she was dressed. Rogue took a quick look around and grabbed Jean by the sleeve. "Come with me," She commanded and popped them into the mansion's basement.

There were a lot of rooms beneath the Institute. Several of them were containment cells for mutants who were out of control. They were padded and safe and meant to house children until the professor could help them control their mutation. They were rarely used but Hank had offered them as an alternative to going out in the pouring rain when she needed to practice. Rogue couldn't think of anywhere better to do this.

Jean was starting to assert herself though, "Rogue, what are you-." She stopped midsentence and began again, a bit warily, "Where are your gloves?"

Rogue looked at her curiously and could have sworn she saw Jean's brown eyes go red with flames. "Don't need them anymore," She smiled. "I can touch." She lifted her hand to Jean's cheek carefully, "See?"

Jean's eyes widened in amazement as Rogue cupped the telepath's cheek without harming her. The girl knew her thoughts were a mess of chaos to any telepath and Jean was no different. "That's—"

"Wonderful," Rogue knew what she was going to say. And maybe the real Jean, the scared girl who thought it was better to hide her feelings than express them really would have thought it was wonderful. This Jean…she'd been about to call Rogue's little revelation, "Very convenient, right?" Rogue added softly as Jean's eyes hardened.

"That's what I thought," Rogue continued, "when the professor told me about you. You're hurting yourself. You're miserable and you're making everyone else feel miserable too." She took a deep breath and felt the minute hum of her skin coming to life, like touching a bell after it had been rung. "So I'm going to fix you Jean." She smiled, "You've got a lot of shit to deal with, but you'll have help. And maybe you'll be happy again. You'll be the woman Charles and Scott knew before." She took a deep breath and pulled hard, using everything Emma had taught her, and broke down Jean's block.

* * *

_Author's Note: So a few suggestions in the reviews for other mutants in Rogue's head. Thanks guys! And if you think of anyone else I always like to hear your ideas._

_I always wondered what Jean's damage was. Because she was either a sweetheart, albeit a little arrogant, or a raving bitch. At least that's the impression I always got. So I wanted to do a little...fixing. I'm ignoring the movies mostly, but going with some of the thoughts I had when I watched them. And it seemed to me that if Jean had some sort of mental block that inhibited her telepathy and using Cerebro could break it down, then another telepath going in and removing it would have the same effect._

_I'm figuring at this point, if Jean could almost incinerate Xavier then she's beyond therapy. So Rogue's staging her own type of intervention. Think it'll work?_

_Thoughts?_


	14. 14 summer has come and passed

_Chapter 14)_

"What is she going to do?" Xavier's voice was filled with dread. The scent of brimstone hadn't even faded from the air before the professor began to move.

"Stop right there Chuck," Logan held up his hand. "Me an' Rogue have talked about this stuff." He shrugged off his discomfort at repeating what Rogue had told him. "You think Jean's mind'll be the first hostile mutation Rogue's taken in?" It wasn't like he enjoyed knowing his girl was going to be on the seriously uncomfortable side of mental pain or anything. He even got why she'd popped out without explaining what she was going to do. No, he wasn't thrilled about it. That didn't mean he was going to bad mouth her to Xavier.

"What is she going to do?" Professor Xavier repeated the question, his voice stiff with anger. "Jean hasn't harmed her but who knows—"

"Bullshit," Wolverine growled the denial. "But that won't matter to Rogue." He stood in front of the professor's chair and leaned down to stare the man in the eyes. "My girl knows what she's doin'. She's gonna absorb whatever's behind that block in Jean's mind." And she'd end up feeling everything Jean felt, everything the personality behind the block felt, until she got it under control.

"She'll go mad," Charles was angry and worried. Even serenely powerful telepath's have their breaking point apparently. "We'll have to restrain her and with Jean's mutation as well as the other's she's absorbed—"

Logan sighed and stood up straight. "C'mon. I know exactly where she is. I'll take you down. Maybe call Hank and tell him to meet us in containment?"

Rogue had told him about containment, about using those rooms to practice her mutations. Apparently Hank had been a lot of help when she'd needed it. Just one more reason he liked the blue feral. And containment was a safe place for her to help Jean.

* * *

The trip to the concealed elevator and down to the lowest levels was tense enough that the Wolverine kept wanting to growl and roar his anger. Rogue was protecting every mutant in the damn Institute with what she was doing. He knew that and he could tell that Xavier knew it too. But he could still smell Xavier's worry and anger.

"Rogue's gonna make sure you get Jean back," Logan managed to force the words past his lips. This was the hardest part of the whole thing for him. For all the Rogue had told him of what she'd had to do in the labs, and how difficult it was for her, her warning hadn't prepared him for how hard it would be to wait while she did it.

"How," Xavier gave a fairly credible imitation of a snarl as Hank joined them in the hall outside the containment level of the wing. "How will she deal with the aberrant personality and still leave Jean's mind whole? If I couldn't?"

"Aberrant personality?" Hank blinked at them, his mild voice curious but with a touch of demand. Logan tried not to smirk. Beast really hated being kept out of the loop.

"In a nutshell, Jean's nuts. She's divided her mind into stuff that bugs her and stuff that don't. That's why she's been such a bitch." The feral mutant shrugged. "Chuck tried to help her and she nearly killed him. Rogue's gonna absorb the stuff Jean doesn't want. Telekinesis for the most part I think. She does that, as I figure it, it'll take away what Jean's scared of about herself an' Jean'll start dealin' with her emotions better." He met Hank's eyes and knew that the other feral understood just why Rogue was doing this. It was the same reason Hank was on the team.

"Greater love hath no man…" Beast murmured before he looked towards the door of the containment room. "I had noticed that Jean has a tendency to…compartmentalize," Hank mused. "I take it she blocked off part of her personality when the telekinesis began to manifest? With strong emotions it would become difficult to control even with practice. However, ignoring her emotions, or blocking them off would…"

"Make the TK more controllable and easier to ignore." Xavier concluded. "Yes. Unfortunately Jean didn't take into account that one cannot simply divide one's mind without becoming mentally unstable."

"And Rogue is…" Hank looked at Logan. "Taking care of the problem?"

"She's pretty much buying Jean some time," Wolverine shrugged and leaned against the wall. He could hear through the layers of steel and padding. Jean was crying weakly, Rogue was panting and there was an incredible amount of heat beyond that door. "Jean managed to create a whole other personality in her head. When her mutation comes back online it'll be slow at first. Especially if Rogue's really pullin' hard on the TK."

Beast tilted his head and Logan could tell he too was listening to what was beyond the door and the walls. "Once Rogue is done, Jean will have an incredible amount of work to do." He observed quietly.

"Yes," Xavier sounded exhausted and Logan guessed he was monitoring Jean mentally while Rogue worked. "I think…we might go in now…"

"No!" Logan stepped between Xavier and the door, gratified to see that Hank hadn't even tried to move yet. "You can't go in 'til Rogue's done."

"She's withdrawn from Jean's mind," Professor Xavier's patience was strained and it showed in his voice.

"But Rogue hasn't finished yet," Hank intervened. Wolverine nodded gratefully at the other feral. Xavier was in no mood to listen to him anymore. Hank would make more progress. "Rogue must still control what she has absorbed. She's quite powerful, and her strength of will shall most certainly triumph, but she will need some time."

"So we should leave Jean in there with her?" The Professor frowned. "What if—"

"Rogue won't hurt Jean," Wolverine snarled at the man he called friend. "She's never wanted to hurt anybody."

"Wanting does not make it so," Xavier argued. "And who knows how Jean will react. If Rogue is…occupied by dealing with the new mutation who knows what Jean will do."

"Charles we cannot open the doors." It was a statement of fact from Doctor Henry McCoy and thus inarguable even for Xavier. "Touch Jean's mind to reassure yourself of her safety. But do not touch the doors. The amount of heat behind them is…dangerous for you."

"What will it do to Jean? To Rogue?"

Logan had to give him that; it wasn't that Chuck wasn't worried for Rogue. He just didn't think she was helpless whereas without her mutation, Jean was. He guessed it was sort of a compliment to his girl. Not that he was anymore pleased with the whole situation. He'd wondered if Rogue had something like this in mind when she'd talked about Jean. Since her first outburst in the truck after he'd told her about the redheaded telepath's words Rogue had been…strangely contemplative whenever Jean's name came up. But she hadn't ever said what she'd been thinking and he hadn't wanted to think about Jean when he was finally with his girl. Her angry muttering in the truck earlier had been one of the few times she'd displayed hostility regarding the red headed telepath since they'd first hit the road.

'_Logan_,' Rogue's voice was soft, gentle almost, but he wasn't hearing it with his ears. '_Don't let Professor X in here. No matter what. Jean's all right. Just tired. The Phoenix is still…angry._'

Wolverine looked at the door and put his hand on it. The heat had increased. "Darlin' how're you keepin' her off Jean?"

'_Oh she's pissed as hell and battling it out with some of my other shadows. You an' Angelica and Johnny are givin' her a run for her money_.' Rogue's mental voice was amused. '_I'm just lettin' her rant a while. Got a telekinetic shield over Jean so she doesn't get toasted._'

Logan chuckled and repeated the conversation for Hank and Charles' benefit. "You want us to get Kurt and have him pop Jean out of there?"

'_If you can get him here quickly, that'd be a help_,' Rogue's mental voice was still quiet but dry. '_I could get Phoenix under control better if I wasn't dividing my attention._'

"You got it darlin'." He looked at Xavier, "Get Kurt, explain what Rogue's doin' and get him to pop in and get Jean. My girl's got her protected but she needs a little extra oomph to get Phoenix under control."

* * *

The sun had gone down. Angelica, Johnny, Ro and Kurt had joined him, Hank and the Professor in the hall outside containment. Kurt had popped Jean out and hadn't even gotten singed for his trouble. Scott was with Jean in medical now since Jean was still unconscious.

Scott had been pretty pissed at him and Rogue. But he hadn't gotten much of a chance to shout or vent before Hank had put him in his place. The doctor didn't resemble Cookie Monster at all as he read Scott a very civilized riot act regarding the X-Man's foolishness and just how much Rogue had risked to help Jean. Logan hadn't gotten to say much, Hank hadn't left a lot of room for it, so he'd just leant against the wall and smirked at the pretty boy. He wasn't sure how much Scott had really absorbed but it sure had been fun to watch.

Xavier might have added his two cents but he'd been busy putting the groundwork in place for Jean to have true mental healing. When he'd emerged from the slight trance the telepath had been tired but he'd also been smiling. "She's afraid and she's ashamed but she knows that we're going to help her. And I've made certain that she won't be able to do such a thing again. There are warning triggers that will alert us both of a return to those patterns."

That had gotten a sigh of relief from everyone waiting and Hank had gone with Scott to set up a bed in medical for Jean. Now the blue feral was pacing absently while he waited for Rogue. Occasionally he'd go and check on his other patient before returning to the hallway.

Logan had been ready to claw his way into containment the minute he felt the heat receding from the walls. It had taken both Beast and Xavier to keep him from doing so. "Give her time," Xavier counseled, taking his turn at being the voice of reason. "Even if the mutation isn't manifesting outwardly, she may still need space to regain complete control over her mind."

Finally there was a creaking noise, a faint whine that grew into a din that hurt his sensitive ears and made Beast wince in sympathy as he too was assaulted. By the time it grew in volume enough for the non-feral mutants to hear it was painfully loud. But he could recognize the sound. It was metal. Metal walls being torn back and reformed as Rogue undid the damage Phoenix had done to containment.

With a massive shriek of grinding metal and dust falling from the shifting plaster the door opened. Rogue hovered inside the room and sighed as she drifted gently to the ground. "Finally," She shook her head. "I did my best to fix the room Professor but until I tried to open the door I didn't realize the electrical wires had been burnt out. Lemme know when you get it repaired and I'll come be the mule." She walked forward until she was in the hall and standing in front of Logan, albeit a bit unsteadily. "Forgive me sugar? For springin' this on you?"

"Aw hell darlin', long's you're all right." The Wolverine growled down at her and picked her up in his arms to kiss hard on the mouth before he glared at her. "I get why you did it. But you do this again without warnin' me? I'm gonna paddle your sweet ass." He could smell how tired she was. Sweaty and almost limp with exertion against his body and not in the way he liked best.

Her giggle did more to soothe his temper than anything else. "Sugar I wouldn't have but if I hadn't taken Jean by surprise she'd've been impossible. Catchin' her off guard was the only way I could do this."

"Have you absorbed Jean's telekinesis permanently Rogue?" Xavier asked in a gentle voice.

"You mean does she still have it?" Marie turned in his arms to look at the Professor. "'Cause you know, once I got it, I'll always have it. 'Specially in that amount." She swayed slightly and Logan tightened his hands on her for support.

"I beg your pardon, yes, does Jean still have her abilities?" The professor clarified his question while Hank regarded Rogue with interest. Beast's sharp eyes took in Rogue's lack of gloves and Logan's lack of falling to the ground but the genius feral said nothing.

"Oh yeah," Rogue grinned. "It'll take her a while to build back up to that level though. So you can take her through whatever exercises she needs to heal and get used to the abilities. She'll be feeling better by tomorrow I'd think. I tried to not take any of her energy, just the TK and the Phoenix personality."

"Won't that leave Jean with only half a personality?" Kurt was a bit confused and his German accented voice sounded like it. Storm was simply listening, her expression intent as she waited beside Hank.

"Nah, can't take only part of someone's mind," Rogue shook her head. "I got some pretty smart folks in my head. I was worried about that too but really all I did was take out that block of hers. And drained enough of her mutation so she can't just set us all on fire when she's mad. Least for a while anyway."

"Rogue is correct," Xavier gave them all a weary smile. "Had she not used such care in exerting her mutation she might very well have crippled Jean. But drawing off Jean's anger, the block and the Phoenix personality...it allowed Jean's mind to heal, like lancing a wound."

"That's kinda how I saw it," Rogue nodded. "When I touched her, pictured her brain with a big ole splinter stuck in it and pulled that out. Then pulled out all the infection under it. Seemed to work. Didn't wanna hurt her, just get rid of what ailed her."

Xavier and Rogue both sounded beyond tired now and Logan frowned at the girl in his arms. "Let's get some food in you an' then you're gonna rest." He told her firmly. "Hank'll back me up that you gotta be damn near exhausted. And I know Chuck is gonna keel over in his chair if he don't get some protein and sleep, in that order."

"Brain food," Rogue giggled at the idea. "Brains..." She drawled like a little southern zombie and giggled again. Charles chuckled wearily and the two most powerful mutants in the school began laughing like tired five year olds as they were guided to the elevator.

"Punch drunk, the both of you." Logan sighed and cradled his woman in his arms. "C'mon you crazy little woman," he kissed the top of her head. "Let's go."

* * *

_Author's Note: So this one is a little shorter but it seemed like a good stopping point. Hope you guys liked it. I should have another chapter up in a couple of days. _

_What do you think? I didn't want Jean to be an awful traitorous person like I've seen in other fics. But I didn't want her to be an angel either._

**Quote Sources**:

Greater love hath no man - (In its entirety - Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.) - John 15:13


	15. 15 the innocent can never last

_Chapter 15)_

In Logan's arms, or occasionally half smothered by his heavy body, was definitely her favorite way to wake up. With Logan in bed with her, even if he was heavy, she didn't feel the automatic sensation of claustrophobia others had caused. Being held down had never failed to wake her old fears, even when it had been in fun, goofing around with Angelica a few years back. She'd learned to get through the panic attacks and she'd become extremely skilled at breaking an opponent's hold. But even years after her escape from the labs those old terrors gave her bad moments.

Now the adamantium boned feral was clutching her tightly, his body have covering hers. He'd wrapped her in his arms and sandwiched her legs between his while her skull was tucked under his chin. It wasn't the first time she'd awakened like this and she suspected it wouldn't be the last. The Wolverine was many things but protective was foremost among them. Possessive was another quality he had in abundance. Between those two it was a wonder she didn't wake up like this every morning.

Rogue stroked her hand over his forearm. She could feel his claws inside his hands, buried deeply under muscle and skin. She'd been making an effort to use his mutation often. It had been one of the stipulations he'd made before they returned to the Institute. If she could make a habit of keeping his mutation on, with its healing and extra senses she was much less likely to be permanently harmed if there were any accidents or problems. Or if she went out with the team.

Explaining that her mutation was keyed to self preservation and that should she be injured it would most likely turn on instinctively hadn't made much of an impression. He didn't want her to risk it. He wasn't thrilled with the idea of her being an X-Man but he knew she kept on with it for the same reasons he did. Not for the sake of humanity. For the sake of others like her who were driven from their homes, experimented on or locked up. Others like him, who'd been lost for so long because someone thought to use them for their own purposes.

"Darlin' how'd you feel?" Logan's rough voice was low, almost gentle, and his hands flexed and caressed her stomach through the teeshirt she wore.

"Hmm...tired, but okay," She rubbed her cheek against the bicep pillowing her head before she kissed it. "You put me to bed?" It was more of a confirmation than a question. "Did I do anything strange?"

"What like turn into a raving bitch and throw fire?" His voice sounded more amused and definitely more awake. "Nah, you slept like the dead, except for all the purring and rubbing and driving me crazy." Marie shivered as his lips rubbed over her hair and crept down to her neck, nuzzling and caressing.

"Did I?" The words came out along with a breathless moan as his hand slid up her stomach and cupped her breast, his thumb teasing her nipple through the shirt.

"Hmm...yeah," the Wolverine growled the affirmative Rogue gasped again as she felt his cock rubbing against her ass while his other hand cupped her pussy and gently squeezed. "'Fraid you gotta make it up to me now baby."

"Yes..." She tried to part her thighs but they were still trapped between Logan's legs. His hands simply roved over her body, teasing her skin until she felt like a mass of quivering flesh. His lips moved from her neck to her ear and along her cheek until he found her mouth and began to play with her lips and tongue.

Cool air burst over her torso as Logan lost patience with the shirt and shredded it. Rogue couldn't stop the moan as her skin tightened with the temperature difference. How her man could have such big hands but such nimble fingers...they tugged so gently at her nipples. His entire hand was covering her mound, spreading her nether lips and tracing the delicate folds of skin. She groaned in frustration as his fingertips touched her everywhere but her clit.

"Logan, want to...please..." The words made no sense. So much pleasure could be just as much a torment as none. She cupped her other breast with her hand and was rewarded with a pleased growl.

"So pretty, touchin' yourself, my sweet Marie," He groaned into her mouth. "So sweet." His fingertips brushed over her clit, slick with her need and she gasped sharply in bliss. Slowly as if she were breakable his fingers stroked and rubbed in a deliberate careful pace.

"Oh," The shudder that rolled over her skin was the first of many tiny tremors, warnings of the quake to come. Heat seemed to gather between her thighs, and bloomed in the soles of her feet, prickling through her spine. Again and again, Logan kissed and drank in her moans and cries, encouraging her tremors of pleasure until she was sure she was begging him for completion.

Mindless. Before Logan she didn't know the true meaning of the word. The fire that was slowly kindling through her body blazed to an inferno. She felt more than heard her scream, shock and ecstasy so sharp it was almost pain, burning her from inside out as she convulsed and shuddered hotly in Logan's arms.

When it was over she was on her belly, and Logan was pressing her to the bed, his arm steady beneath her breasts. Now her thighs were spread wide, her lover pushing slowly and deeply inside her as she quaked around him. She was so wet she could hear the tiny suctioning sounds her body made as she took him in. The Wolverine was growling in her ear, promising her pleasure in his way. His other hand still cupped her mound, still stroked and gently plucked at her blood engorged clit.

Rogue moaned and felt it building again, the fire, the need. It worsened, doubled, tripled as Logan's hips moved behind her, pushing pleasure into her body along with his. She'd never felt anything like it, as if his body was different from every other male's, made for her, to pleasure her, to promise her bliss and never pain.

She knew she was moaning, words that were unintelligible, just as animalistic as her lover, as pleasure upon bliss upon ecstasy burst through her body again and again. He was growing a bit rougher now, urgency upon him as his own need pressed for completion. She hoped, in a daze of pleasure, that he understood, that he knew, she was only his. He was only hers. There would never be anyone else like this for her, or for him. The word came to her then, what the Wolverine felt, what she needed. "Mate." She screamed it, bucked back up to him, pushing his cock even deeper and cried out his name again.

Marie felt it, so deep and true within her, the Wolverine touching the animal in her. The animal he'd woken with his mutation drawn inside hers. His roar of satisfaction was like thunder in her ears, her shriek of pleasure a streak of lightening as his orgasm triggered hers. His hips slammed hard down to her backside, again, again, again, filling her body. Hot, sweet, almost burning inside her, she felt him come into her belly. His palm slipped from her hot wet folds to press his palm to her stomach. "My mate." His growl was harsh and beyond possession in her ear. The Wolverine would never let her go. She'd known it before but now he knew it too.

His body was covering hers, sweaty and warm and sticky and she giggled into the mattress. His rumble of humor was muffled against her skin and she felt him twitch, his cock stirring to life inside her body. "Hmmm..." She sighed and when he deliberately rotated his hips it turned into a sharp gasping moan. For a moment she'd forgotten that while the Wolverine might be feral he was still human, and humans were always in season.

* * *

"Did ya mean it," Logan asked her later on.

Rogue propped her chin up on his chest and looked him in the eyes. "Sugar, when have I ever told you somethin' I don't mean?" She reminded him. "Even durin' sex."

"You might find some other guy, someone else you feel safe with." The flash of gold in his eyes told her that he didn't like that possibility one bit.

"Yeah? So?" Rogue rolled her eyes at him. "Cows could fly tomorrow. Even if I found someone else I liked, felt safe with...I don't see how it could change the way I feel about you." She took a deep breath and opened her mind, let down all the shields she kept between her and the world and used the absorbed telepathy and empathy to show him how she felt. "I can't imagine feeling about anyone else, let alone another man, the way I feel about you. And how I feel about me when I'm with you."

"Even with my past, not knowing, I mean there could be a lotta shit that's no good there." Now he was arguing and Rogue sighed.

"Honey, I was a fuckin' toy for anyone with a condom at the labs," She reminded him. "I could drain you dry, I could fuckin' kill everyone in this place. Does that change how you feel about me?"

"Fuck no!" His snarl was more than a little Wolverine, gold eyes and all.

"Then don't insult me by sayin' your past changes who you are now." She snarled back. "You're real big on what the poems I chose to read meant. Maybe you oughta read some of what I wrote more. I've got five years worth of journals filled with how I feel about you. 'Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires.' I promise sugar. I'm yours. Won't ever leave you alone. You'll never be alone again."

Logan nodded finally and pulled her closer, "Don't mean to doubt you darlin'." He offered. "Sometimes...just wonder what you see in me is all." The sentiment was such a contrast to his normal confidence that Rogue had no doubt he meant it.

"And this is why I still want hens an' rats to nest in Jean's hair." Marie spat out the words angrily. "Don't care why she was bein' a bitch. She made you feel like you weren't good enough. You're the best man I know."

"You need to get out more." He teased her and when she went to hit him caught her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

"Jackass," Marie grumbled. "Go back to sleep sugar. It's four in the morning."

* * *

She'd never admit it to Professor Xavier but Jean's Phoenix personality was one of the more difficult absorptions to control. All of Jean's anger and resentment at being different, about being a mutant and all her fear of being locked up had been buried behind that block. As a result the Phoenix was a mass of rage and pain. The Phoenix really hated Jean. And she wasn't too fond of Xavier or Scott either. It seemed like whatever Jean loved, Phoenix hated.

A few hours later of fitful sleep Rogue tugged at Logan's hand and tried to slide out of his embrace. Of course he woke up. She had the feeling it would be a long time before he relaxed enough about their relationship to go on sleeping while she got out of bed. "Time's it?" He muttered tiredly as he loosened his grasp on her hip.

"It's round seven or so sugar," Marie murmured. "I gotta do some work. Go back to sleep all right?"

"Find ya in an hour," he muttered into the pillow. Rogue couldn't help smiling as she slipped out of the bed. He said that every morning so far but he never actually went back to sleep. Before she'd even pulled on a pair of panties Logan had rolled onto his back and was watching her with a lazy smile tugging his lips. His eyes gleamed lasciviously as she pulled on a pair of shorts. The athletic bra was perfectly functional and he knew it but he did seem to like seeing her in it.

"Why'd you like this thing so much sugar?" She asked him finally as she pulled on a pair of socks and sneakers.

"I can see your skin." Was his prompt reply. "Love your skin. All soft and creamy." He climbed out of the bed, gloriously naked and completely unselfconscious about it, to kneel in front of her and pressed his lips to her abdomen.

"And here I was thinkin' I might actually be able to get a tan now." Marie chuckled as he stood again and kissed her hard on the mouth.

"You could." He grinned, "But my mutation'll just make it fade." When she stared at him in shock he shrugged. "Baby a tan is just damage done to your skin by the sun." He stroked one thick finger over the pale skin of her upper arm. "My mutation'll heal any damage."

"So I'm gonna look white as a ghost unless I turn off the mutation." She sighed. "And I already told you I'd keep it on so I will," She reassured him. "And even if I did turn it off to get a tan once I turn it back on the healin'll just get rid of it."

"Yeah." He nodded as he made a trip to the bathroom.

"Well why's your skin darker then?" Rogue asked through the half way open door as she bound her hair up in a pony tail.

"Dunno," Logan called back. She could hear the grin in his voice and rolled her eyes. "Maybe my skin's always been like this? Or it's 'cause it kicked in after I was a teenager? Wish I knew."

She grumbled to herself about looking white as a sheet all through summer as she struggled with her hair. Logan's hands slid around her, nearly spanning her waist as he pressed a kiss to her neck. "I like your skin all soft an' pale." He murmured his pleasure against her shoulder. "Never got why anyone would wanna turn themselves brown and leathery."

"Coco Chanel made it fashionable." She murmured. "Before that only working women tanned. Ladies didn't."

"Well you're a lady then," Logan's mouth was still lingering on her neck. "Makes sense to me."

"Well I guess I'll get used to it," Rogue sighed and leaned back against him. "Gonna do some work before Hank wakes up." She told him. "Wanna come play in the danger room? I gotta work on Phoenix some before I get going on that exploding thing."

"Hell yes," His wicked grin said more about his mutation that his claws. "Let's go."

"Better put on a pair of shorts at least Sugar," Rogue laughed. "Or you'll be giving everyone more of an eyeful than they're used to." She couldn't stop giggling when he gave her a disgruntled look and pulled on a pair of jeans.

"Keep laughin' darlin'," He grabbed her ass. "Remember who's old and sneaky."

"Hmm..." Marie tilted her head as she took in her lover. "I think this how I like you best, 'cept when you're nekkid." She drawled. "Bare feet, bare chest, and only blue jeans..." She smiled as his body reacted to her voice and trailed her fingers down his chest to his fly. "Better hold that thought sugar."

His growl was redolent with irritated lust as he smacked her ass with his palm. "Gonna pay for that later."

"Promise?" She drawled the teasing question and her chuckle turned into a squeak as he grabbed for her.

"Oh it's a definite promise," Wolverine was growling at her playfully now.

"Gotta catch me first sugar," Rogue laughed and flew out the door.

The race down to the Danger room may have woken up a few people but by the same token classes would be starting an hour or two anyway.

* * *

_Author's Note: Another slightly shorter chapter. Sorry about that folks. But we're gearing up for some bigger things and this is the lightest bit we've got for a little while. _

_Anyway…love to hear what you think. Thanks for reading!_


	16. 16 wake me up when September ends

_Chapter 16)_

"Darlin' if I ever want a workout I know who to talk to," Logan knew he was grinning like a fool but for the first time since Sabretooth had disappeared he'd been fought to a standstill. His girl was gleaming with sweat, her hair was damp with it and she glared at him in a vaguely threatening manner.

"Logan, I almost incinerated you." She pointed out. "I was trying to practice and control the Phoenix. You hollerin' insults at her didn't help."

"Yeah but you didn't burn me up." He couldn't stop grinning. "I know you. You wouldn't even consider playing with Phoenix if you didn't have her under control. You're just trying to get to know her powers. Me acting like a jackass is just a stress inducer. If you can control it when I'm acting like that chances are you'll be able to control it in combat."

"Makes me nervous," Marie was frowning at him but her eyes were lightening up as she studied him. "Plus I've still got to explain all this to the professor."

"Yeah, fixing Jean kinda took over yesterday didn't it," Logan admitted ruefully. "And Chuck's probably got even more questions now."

"Ya think?"

He couldn't help the chuckle that rose in his throat. Her sarcastic tone was syrupy sweet and dry as a desert but it was the roll of her eyes that tickled him. "Well I ain't too bright so I couldn't say for sure but-" His deliberately slow and stupid voice was interrupted by the doors to the danger room opening.

He knew right away who it was. Scooter always did follow the schedule. Rogue and he had gotten up early enough to train before Scott's class started but now they'd gone over time because they'd been talking. So he dragged his eyes away from Marie even as her face tightened slightly into the Rogue and looked at Scott's extremely disapproving face.

Scott, of course, couldn't just wait two seconds for them to leave, "You've got a lot of nerve." The 'leader' of the X-Men snapped the words out like cracking ice. "After what you did to Jean. Just taking over the room like you belong here."

The Wolverine wasn't exactly thrilled to see Scooter and that tone of voice did nothing to calm the animal down. But it wasn't Wolverine that old One Eye would need to worry about.

"Last I heard I was still an X-Man," Rogue was levitating now, literally, floating two feet above the floor. And her hands were glowing ominously. "And I have the right to use this room to train."

"If you think we'll work with you after what you did—" The Ice Prick really didn't know when to shut his mouth. But that wasn't exactly news. Wolverine's growl upon hearing that voice was very loud, filling the air with aggressive fury.

"After what I did," Rogue's hands glowed more brightly and she flew closer to Logan, hovering at his shoulder. It had never been more obvious that she was his equal and her nearness calmed the animal enough that Logan could speak without snarling.

"The Professor ain't said a word about throwin' Rogue or me off the team." Logan managed to utter the words without reaching out to throttle either one of the very smug jerks in front of him. "He knows why she drew on the Phoenix. Beast knows. So does anyone who bothered to ask. But you don't figure you gotta do that do you Scooter?"

"Rogue put her into a coma!" Scott was perilously close to losing his temper and the other students with him, among them the Russian and Jackal, backed up slightly. "I don't need to ask."

"Doctor Grey is recovering from self inflicted trauma," Rogue hissed the words out. "I didn't touch Jean, or her telepathy you moron. I drew on the Phoenix. I pulled out the telekinesis, temporarily, and Charles was able to work his magic on her mind without the aberrant personality getting in the way."

"Aberrant personality," Summers scoffed and Logan snarled as he stepped forward.

"You better not be callin' my girl a liar Scooter." He looked at Drake and the other kids. "One a you go an' get Beast. Or Nightcrawler." The Russian didn't wait for further instructions; he and Jackal took off, the corridor floors thumping under the huge kid's weight.

"Jean doesn't have anything wrong with her," Scott argued and Logan nearly sighed at how obstinate the man was. "She was fine until Rogue—"

"How stupid are you?" Rogue snapped the words out. "Charles said she tried to kill him. Do you think I wanted that in my head? Do you want to feel how Phoenix feels about Jean? Do you want to know what Phoenix would have done if she'd gotten free?"

Wolverine looked at her and realized that the warmth he'd been feeling was due to flames licking all over Rogue's body. It was like she was surrounded in an aura of fire. "Darlin' you know you're hot right? Don't gotta demonstrate." He smirked as she giggled and her hover bounced a little bit.

"I got it under control sugar, Phoenix's temper is still up a bit an' the fire makes her feel a bit better." She took a deep breath and as he watched the ripples of heat around her subsided slightly.

"She's pretty strong, huh?" Logan was aware of Scott fuming in furious silence as he was all but ignored.

"Yeah, I'd say she's on par with a couple others I've absorbed. Only one stronger than them and that's why I can fly." She explained and the heat dialed back a bit further.

He nodded his understanding. She'd told him about the mutations, about their strength and how it related to the length of her hold on a mutant. The mutant woman with the gift of flight, strength and invulnerable skin was the mutant they'd forced her to touch until the woman was drained to death. She'd been the last mutant Rogue had touched before she'd gotten control of her mind.

Logan glanced at Summers and realized that while during their quick exchange, less than half a minute long, old One Eye had only grown more furious. From the look and smell of him Scott wouldn't have been any more angry if Rogue had absorbed him instead of Phoenix. "You think this is some sort of game? Or is it just so normal for you to steal and leech off innocent people that you can just laugh off what Jean is going through?"

There he went, spewing self-righteousness and the Wolverine was slowly taking over, the claws sliding out. "You better listen an' listen good bub," He growled. "That bitch you're so fond is the one to blame. My girl helped her. She took all that shit and pulled it outa your precious Jean."

"She fed off her." Summers snapped back. "She just absorbed Jean until she was in a coma. That's not helpful, no matter how your Neolithic brain interprets it."

The Wolverine growled and tried to stand in front of Rogue in a misplaced but affectionate attempt to shield her from Scott's idiocy but she wasn't having it. "You really oughta know what you're talkin' about before you go spoutin' off." Her southern drawl was chilly with disdain and the fires around her died as she circumvented Logan's body to float right in front of Cyclops. "You have no idea how my mutation works. What I go through each time I touch someone. Do you think I wanted Jean's mutation? Why would I want to absorb someone who's shown nothing but contempt for me?"

"Indeed," Professor Xavier's voice had never been more welcome. His chair came into Logan's view along with Kurt's blue figure and Storm's shock of white hair. "Rogue I owe you an apology. If the attitude Scott is displaying is at all similar to how the students behaved towards you it is no wonder you were furious when we sent Logan away."

"Leech is the kindest word they've ever had for me," Rogue stopped hovering and finally dropped to the floor beside Wolverine. He growled and pulled her smaller form back to him, wrapping his arms around her and pressing her spine to his chest. "I'm fine sugar." Her hand stroked over his knuckles and fingers affectionately, relaxing him enough for the claws to retract. She leant her head back so he could smell her hair and the Wolverine relaxed a bit more.

"Ho-ly fuck…" One of the newcomers was staring at him and Rogue and the Wolverine growled at him. "Dude… how're you still…like, conscious?"

Oh yeah, his hands were on her stomach and abdomen, her bare hands on his and her mutation wasn't pulling at his. Logan chuckled and dipped his head down to nuzzle his girl's neck. "Heaven and earth bub, heaven and earth." Rogue giggled as his whiskers tickled her sensitive skin as if they weren't being stared at by a still hostile Cyclops, an Ice Prick and several other confused mutants in addition to Chuck, Ro and Kurt.

Xavier's chuckle was dry though it was easy to scent that he was still very pleased to see Rogue's control over her mutation. "In all the chaos yesterday, it quite escaped everyone's notice that Rogue gained control of her mutation."

"So she touched Jean, absorbed Jean, deliberately?" Scooter was turning red he was so incensed. "That's even worse. She put her in a coma on purpose!"

"Fuck you," Rogue snarled.

"Scott that is quite enough," Xavier retorted sharply even as Logan's claws began to slide out again. "Logan I'll thank you to not skewer Mr. Summers." For someone in a wheelchair and at half the height of everyone in the room Xavier had the most commanding presence. "I'd like all Senior X-Men in my office now. Thank you." He turned the chair around and began to leave expecting the others to follow.

To give him credit, Cyclops did, though not without a final glare at Rogue. Logan looked down at his woman and tilted his head. "How d'you wanna do this darlin'?" It was more than a question of which route to take up to the office. They both knew after yesterday and Scott's display this morning that some explanation would be required.

"Just the facts ma'am." She quipped dryly. "I'll debrief 'em. But damned if they'll get anything beyond a clinical explanation out of me."

"Gotcha." He nodded and pressed an all too brief hot kiss to her mouth. That would have to last him until the briefing was over. He got the feeling it was going to be a while before they got any privacy again.

* * *

He'd thought hearing about Rogue's time in the labs had been hard. But they'd been lying in bed, hands joined and legs tangled together while they talked. She'd told him everything she remembered, everything she'd regained after he'd been forced away from her. For all that he'd worried about giving her his nightmares Logan had been grateful that he and the Wolverine in her mind had helped her heal. She'd let him see someone besides the Rogue. Marie, the sweet girl who'd dreamed of trips to Alaska and snow, first kisses that led to proms and hoped to see the world and write about all its wonders.

Now though…it was worse than the Danger Room. There was no sign of Marie. The Rogue was an unflinching, unfeeling mask as she calmly recited what had happened to her from the time she'd first manifested until the night before. Facts, dates as best she could recall, and places spilled from her lips with cold efficiency. She stood at the head of the conference table, Logan at her right hand and Hank on her left while the Professor sat next to the blue feral genius.

Rogue credited Logan for helping her heal and grow strong enough to feel comfortable and safe experimenting with her mutation. And she explained how she and Doctor McCoy had worked long hard hours to recreate conditions, to determine what it was that ignited her mutation and how it worked. To gain control over the absorption rate and what her skin took in.

When she began to speak in that distant tone about the mental pain and difficulty in dealing with a new mutation the Wolverine growled furiously. For a half a moment, Marie smiled out through her eyes and her hand touched his shoulder, calming him minutely. The explanation of the process she went through in order to absorb and control a mutation and the accompanying personality was made more bearable by her touch.

"And if you like, if you truly believe that there was no reason for me to absorb Jean, I can show you exactly what Phoenix feels. I could project it onto you, what Phoenix feels about Jean and to a lesser extent, Charles." Rogue's hand slipped from Logan's shoulder as she sat on the arm of his chair and looked at Xavier with a sad twist to her mouth. "She blames you in part because you didn't see what Jean was doing and you were her teacher."

"As well she should," Xavier nodded sadly. "But I am grateful Rogue, that you managed to give us all another chance with her."

"You're thanking her?" Scott still didn't get it and the Wolverine had almost had enough of his stupidity. "She put Jean into a coma. She could have killed her."

"Jean woulda killed all of us," Rogue snarled at the man who was sitting as far from her as he could get. "She a started with Charles and then she'd a gone on to you, an' me and everyone else in the whole damn school. She wasn't gonna be Jean anymore. You think the raging bitch who's been treatin' me and everyone else like shit on her shoe is really Jean? Sweet mother a god Scott, do you even know who you're with anymore? Or do you like the way she acts? And that she chose you, the 'good guy', to keep? Does it make you feel superior? Or are you just fuckin' blind, deaf an' dumb?"

"She got worse after you got here," Summers clearly wasn't using his brain to fuel his mouth anymore. Logan snarled and stood, unable to prevent himself from standing between Scott and Rogue as the man continued to spew his bile. "You show up and all of the sudden Jean's constantly upset, or you're sniping at each other. For all I know you could have been trying to hurt her all along. What _have_ you been doing to my fiancé when I haven't been around?"

The Wolverine roared and the claws came out. Reason was bleeding away along with his control, as Marie's shock and pain reached his nose. The Wolverine had no use for words, no interest in conversation or verbal sparring. The only thing that would satisfy him was blood on his claws.

"That is enough," Xavier's voice rang through the air but even the force of his mental hold wasn't enough. Perhaps under normal circumstances Xavier could hold him but the Wolverine was snarling with ill-concealed satisfaction as he kept moving. A Feral was all about adaptation and survival and pushing past Xavier's hold on his mind had always been, theoretically, possible. It was only now that he had reason to push. No one spoke like that about his mate and lived. No one had the right to treat her like dirt. And no one would, ever again.

"Wolverine." Her voice, gentle but still firm, and the sensation of a soft hand cushioning his movements until they stopped, surrounded his body. Slowly he was held, and prevented from moving towards Summers. "Sugar I didn't want to do this. But you can't kill him."

Her hold on his body didn't prevent him from speaking and his growl was unapologetic. "Can and will." He corrected her.

"But you shouldn't," Marie's sweet voice cajoled and her wonderful scent filled his nose as she moved to stand in front of him. "Please sugar. Don't do this."

She was asking it of him. She never asked anything. She was the only one who didn't order him around, ask him for the impossible or demand the insane. He'd give her anything but she never asked. "You want him to live?" He got the words out with an effort, his voice a snarl of rage untempered by reason.

"I don't care about him right now. I just don't want you to be the one kills him." Rogue's hands slid over his chest and up to his face. Rather than pull him down to look at her she floated before him. "Please. Don't you and I have enough blood on our hands? Wolverine?"

The deep breath he took had to be followed by several more before he calmed down enough to will his claws back in. The feel of her mutation around him, that gentle grip, relaxed and eased away and she lowered herself to the floor again. "Darlin', before I try to tear that jackass a new one maybe we could get to the reason we came back to this loony bin in the first place?"

There was a startled exclamation from Storm and Xavier followed the somewhat unintelligible interjection with a more coherent question. "You had a specific reason for returning, rather than just coming home?"

"This ain't home," Wolverine growled and dropped back into his chair with complete lack of concern for the gravity of the discussion. He wrapped his hands around Rogue's waist and pulled her with him. He wanted his woman against him, the scent and feel of her in his arms. It was probably the only way he'd be able to stay even sorta calm.

Rogue shrugged at the professor from his lap and sighed. "When we have time, I need to show you something. The mutants in the lab...Logan said you might know some of them. The ones they made me absorb. If I can show them to you then maybe we can figure out a way to find them, get them out."

"You believe they're still alive? After all this time?" Xavier asked with a touch of incredulity to his voice.

She nodded and Logan answered for her. "We figure that they wouldn't want to just burn through these folks. They're powerful and their mutations are...well. Easily weaponized is the best way to describe them." He stroked a hand over his girl's hair, soothing the shudder all but invisible to the rest of them. She hated talking about the labs. Hated that there were people still stuck there.

"We came back because I was practicing with one of the mutations," Rogue began to explain. "Everyone here has always referred to it as telekinesis. It's not really. It's the ability to manipulate metal." She stroked a hand over Logan's knuckles. "I could feel the metal inside Logan. I practiced feeling it until I knew every bit of his skeleton. But then I felt metal that...wasn't his skeleton."

"What does he have ball bearings inside his skull?" Summers jibed. No one laughed and Logan sighed heavily.

"He has at least two adamantium bullets in the front of his brain," Rogue's voice had gone chilly. "I think they're why he can't remember his past." She looked from Scott to the professor. "Logan wants me to remove them. We came back so I could. So you'd be able to help him deal with the memories if they came back. And so Hank could help me figure out a way to get them out without hurting him too much."

"So you came back to use us," Summers snorted derisively and with an effort Logan ignored him.

"Came back because this might not be home, but it's the closest we got," He said flatly. "Rogue wanted sterile surroundings for this. She didn't wanna mess up a nice hotel room."

"And someone with a knowledge of the sciences and anatomy could only help," Hank observed. "It would be my honor to assist you both." The Wolverine's pleasure showed in a lightening fast grin. He might be more refined and use words heavier than a dictionary but the blue genius was still a Feral and he could always be counted on in a pinch. Hell, Logan was pretty sure the man's primary mutation was loyalty, not blue fur.

"I will do my utmost to help you as well." Xavier nodded. "Now I suggest that you two get a bit more rest. Perhaps meet with Hank and myself this afternoon? We'll have tea and a conversation." His sharp eyes gleamed with humor as he regarded the two of them. "Perhaps you might get around to giving Rogue her gifts Logan?"

Rogue looked at him and her smile was like a surprised child. "You bought me presents?"

"Of course I did," Logan pushed out of the chair and stood, still holding her cradled in his arms. "Every time I thought of you practically." He nodded to the members of the team on his and Rogue's side, that was practically everyone except Summers. The junior team was another matter and he couldn't give two shits about what Drake thought. Of course the junior members were all waiting in the hall outside Xavier's office. Eavesdropping little shits.

"Get the fuck back to class or whatever you're supposed to be doin'," He snarled as he walked through the crowd with his girl. "Brats." St. John winked at him and turned gracefully on his heel to stroll off.

"Gawd, this place is exhausting," Rogue groaned and he clutched her a little tighter. "Promise me that after we deal with everything that we'll go away again? And we'll sit and read and work on engines and have all the sex we want?"

"That's a promise darlin'," Logan pressed a kiss to her hair, much to the astonishment of a blue eyed blonde coming out of a dorm room. He couldn't understand the shock half these kids were showing. What did they think he did? Howl at the moon and devour virgins whole?

Rogue was giggling in his arms, "She's just surprised you're bein' so romantic sugar."

"I'm not fuckin' romantic." He growled in irritation. "I'm mean, nasty, crude and dangerous. But I'm yours."

"Yeah you are sugar," She wrapped her arms around his neck. "And I wouldn't have you any other way."

"Damn right," He pushed their door open and heard the lock click. Rogue was using that metal power or hers, or the TK, either one worked. "Now let's get some rest. I'm an old man darlin'. Gotta make allowances."

"Oh, is that what I'm supposed to do?" Her teasing smile ignited something in him and suddenly he was interested in things besides napping. He could sleep anytime after all.

* * *

_Author's Note: So this is a little lead up to the next arc of plot (I guess that's what you'd call it?). I'm not planning on separating Rogue and Wolverine again but there are...obstacles to beginning their life together. Yeah obstacles...because the course of true love never did run smooth._

_But really neither do the lives of the X-Men do they?_

_So on that note...some issues and resolution. But we are headed towards...well lets say our endgame. If you're read my stuff before you know I'm a sucker for happy endings. Or at least happier ones than canon. So sit back, hold on, and enjoy the ride._

_And by all means tell me what you think. _


	17. 17 ring out the bells again

_Chapter 17)_

She'd thought it would be hard to pull the bullets out of Logan's brain. She hadn't thought it would be so sickening talking about how to do it. "Logan said adamantium could only be molded when it was in its liquid form," she murmured as she stared at X-rays of his skeleton. "But I can manipulate metal." She looked at Hank thoughtfully, "Is there any way to get adamantium? The solid stuff? We could see if I can manipulate it."

"I'll check with Charles," The genius nodded. "Determining what our options are for removal before we begin the attempt would be ideal." He pulled the skull X-ray from the group and stuck it over the light screen. "As you can see Rogue, there are several openings in the skull that are naturally occurring."

She nodded and was grateful that Logan was having a run in the woods. Hard as it was to discuss it would be worse if he was listening. "Obviously the mouth, the nasal opening and the eye sockets." Rogue frowned. "I thought about the nose, but I don't know about tearing through all the brain tissue and half of his face to remove the bullets." She pressed a hand to her stomach. Logan's flesh and brain being torn... The very thought made her feel ill.

"True." Beast was examining the picture of Logan's skull as if it held the answers to major universal questions. "Have you considered using your mutation on him? If you can employ the metal manipulation upon the adamantium?" Dark eyes were kind as they met her green ones. "A touch of your mutation to keep his skin and bone from healing around an incision...we might be able to take the bullets out the way they came in."

"It crossed my mind, but I'm not sure I want to take the chance with his healing factor. It's what kept him alive when the bullets hit his brain after all," Rogue sighed heavily and rubbed her eyes. Two days of debate and theorizing and Scott's poisonous looks along with Bobby's boasting and Jubilee's gossip... she was not happy to be back.

"How are you doing?" Hank sat against the table and regarded her with that probing gaze of his. He saw far too much for her comfort. He might not be telepathic like Xavier but very little got by him and he knew her very well. "I know it's not comfortable here. Not for either of you."

"I..." Rogue sighed and shook her head. "I wouldn't want to do this anywhere else but at the same time... I..." She groaned and pushed herself up to sit on the counter. "I gotta talk with Logan about stayin' somewhere else if we want to really consider this home. Like a house on the grounds or maybe an apartment somewhere. A place that's our own territory."

"Cyclops hasn't improved any I take it." Beast was displeased with his colleague and it showed in his tone.

"He won't until Jean wakes up," Rogue sighed. "I wish I could reverse my mutation sometimes. Give back energy rather than take it. If I could get her to wake up and talk to him life would be a lot easier." She scowled in a manner she knew was petulant. "Of course if she hadn't been constantly flirting with Logan, lording it over me and generally being a bitch I might put a lot more effort into that idea."

The scientist smiled. "Have you been writing?" He was always asking that. Always wondering what new seed would sprout in her brain.

"Yeah," She grinned in spite of the situation. "When have I been able to stop?" She took a piece of paper from her pocket and unfolded it. "This one might be a little power hungry... But it kinda describes my brain. I call it 'My Realm'."

"Please," He gestured for her to read and leaned forward, listening intently.

She sighed but remembered how adamantly he'd always been in class. Poetry was to be read aloud, it was to be heard and felt with more than just the mind. "As you wish." She took a deep breath and began.

"Quiet hallways  
Locked doors set into whitewashed walls  
Like jewels.  
Sparkling windows open  
To lands never before seen  
In mortal realms.  
The Fay dwell here  
In these lighted halls  
Far from the dwindling dreams  
Of everyday.  
But we dare to go a-hunting.  
My house is but a doorway  
And all this strange, rich terrain  
Mine for the walking.  
I have no fear of little men  
Even Mab, Maeve and all their ilk  
Fear me.  
I make and unmake worlds  
With but a thought  
A drop of ink  
A stroke of my pen."

"I've always enjoyed the echoes of other words in your work," Hank smiled as he digested the words. "You always...pay homage to other poets. Fear of little men."

"Up the airy mountain, down the rushy glen, we dare not go a hunting, for fear of little men," Logan's deep voice spoke from the doorway. He was grinning as he leaned against the doorjamb and she could have basked in that look all day.

"Wee folk, good folk, trooping all together, green jacket, red cap, and white owls feather," Rogue finished the verse with a half smile of her own. She held the paper out to Logan. "For your collection."

His grin softened into a smile and he strode forward to take it and slide it safely into his pocket before wrapping her in his arms. "Always did have a way of gettin' to me." His gruff voice muttered in her ear. "Now tell me why you're so scared. You reek of it darlin'."

"Because you want me to dig into your brain," Rogue snapped up at him. "I don't wanna hurt you. I'm so sorry if that causes me some anxiety." He was still smiling down at her, the lovesick idiot, as if dragging bullets out of his brain and through his skull was nothing if she was beside him.

"It ain't like I haven't been tortured before." He pointed out in a maddeningly reasonable tone. "I'll live."

"That doesn't make it all right!" She shook her head and buried her face in his shirt. Crying always made her feel so out of control and helpless. It was like something invading her lungs so she couldn't breathe and her throat closed up while tears streaked her face. It was her body betrayed by emotions and not in the wonderful way like Logan touching her.

"Goddamnit." Rogue heard him curse under his breath. He hated it when she cried. It was one of the reasons she tried to not do it. Even the Wolverine felt disturbingly helpless when she was upset like this and it made Logan want to go and hit something. "Baby don't cry." He was almost pleading and if she wasn't so aggravated she would have laughed at him.

"I don't want to hurt you," Marie lifted her head and stared up at him. How was she going to make him understand? Just because he healed didn't mean that wounds didn't hurt. She hated the thought of Logan in pain as much as he hated when she was upset. And this was worse because she would be the one causing the pain. "And don't tell me you heal. That's not the point."

"Darlin', they gotta come out. I'd rather you than someone else. I know you'll try to not hurt me." He was holding her tighter and she heard Hank excuse himself quietly, giving them some privacy. "It'll be worth it though. I won't have to wonder about my past. I'll know."

She sighed and nodded. But there was nothing in the world that could make her like this. Nothing at all.

* * *

Five hours of back breaking, painstaking work and it was done. Two bullets had been extracted from Logan's brain, ironically using the same adamantium breaks in his skull that they'd created. It had taken Rogue and Hank a while to get a good X-ray of Logan's skull but in the end it had worked.

Rogue carefully stood upright and groaned as her back creaked and clicked into place. It wouldn't have taken so long if she hadn't been worried about doing as little damage as possible. Beast gave her a toothy smile and offered her a chair. "I must admit, that went much more smoothly than I'd dare hope."

Her exhausted sigh came out with a smile. "It's kinda funny. Logan's been shot in the head more times than I care to recall, but normal bullets don't give him a problem." She looked at the two adamantium bullets weighing heavily in her palm. "It's too bad putting the metal on his skeleton hurts so damn much. I could use one of these to fill in the holes."

"I doubt we'd be able to accomplish it," Hank shook his head. "As I understand it, the metal can only be manipulated in liquid form. The melting point is far too high. We haven't the equipment or resources to manage such a thing."

"Got some ideas about that," Rogue smirked. "But I wanna talk to Logan first." She looked at her lover and stood to tug a blanket over his chest. He'd kept a pair of sweats on for the 'surgery' since the lower levels were colder. No reason to strain his healing ability any more than they had to.

"You should get some rest," Beast suggested. "I doubt he'll wake up for a while."

"No, I'll stay with him." Rogue narrowed her eyes at Logan's unconscious form and a frown twisted her lips. "You might want to get the Professor though. Just because I've got a couple of telepath's in my brain doesn't mean I'm great at mental healing. And I'm definitely not strong enough to paralyze someone like Charles can."

"No my dear you have other gifts." Hank chuckled and picked up the phone on the wall. A short conversation later and he nodded. "Charles will be down as soon as Logan wakes up." He took another blanket from the cabinet and covered her with it. "I'll be nearby if you need me. But do try to get some rest. After all when Logan wakes he'll want your attention."

Rogue couldn't help but laugh at that. Logan had made a point of staying at her side the last few days. If she wasn't working with Hank then she was with Logan. And despite what he said it wasn't only because Scott and Bobby were acting like idiots.

Scott's attitude had improved when Jean had woken up. The red headed doctor was still in seclusion but she was allowed visitors and Cyclop's hostility had been dampened after Jean talked to him. He still didn't much like Rogue and he seemed to despise Logan but he wasn't openly aggressive anymore.

There wasn't much anyone could do about Bobby. He was a prick and seemed destined to stay one. A half smile tugged her mouth upwards; maybe he had an aberrant personality in his brain too? It would explain a lot.

Exhaustion finally claimed her and she closed her eyes.

* * *

The Wolverine's ferocious growl woke her out of her doze. When she straightened in her chair it was to look into furious hazel eyes. Logan was sitting up on the exam bed and glaring down at her like she was the biggest troublemaker in the world but worse. He was mad as hell. "What the fuck did you do to me? Where's Kayla?"

Rogue stood and refused to let him intimidate her. "I can twist you up like pizza dough so stop growlin' at me." She snapped back at him. "I dunno who Kayla is. As for what I did—"

His hand wrapped around her neck and lifted her off the floor. It was threatening and if she couldn't fly it would probably be painful. "Where the hell am I? Who the _fuck_ are you?"

Well that was her typical luck. His brain was all scrambled. She could feel how confused he was, angry and worried. Rogue rolled her eyes as Hank hurried into the room only to have Wolverine's claws snap out with alarming speed. "You come any closer bub and the little girl is shish kabob," Wolverine threatened. "Now tell me where the hell I am."

"Xavier's School for the Gifted," Rogue told him dryly as she levitated above the floor. "Gifted; meaning mutants."

"The Cookie Monster kinda clued me in on that one," Logan's tone was not amused however humorous Rogue might have found his words. "Now you're gonna let me outta here—"

"Sorry hon, but until you get your brain unscrambled and your memories in order you're not going anywhere." Rogue contradicted him. His claws moved closer to her skin and she shrugged. "You gave me your mutation 'bout three years ago. On top a that my skin's invulnerable. I'm stronger than you are. _And_ I can fuckin' fly. So those…shiny sticks don't scare me."

"Yeah?" He growled menacingly, "So fuckin' fly then." And he threw her at Hank and made a break for the door.

"Son of a bitch!" Rogue cursed, pivoted in midair and pulled on her ability to manipulate metal to stop her lover in his tracks. "Hank you okay?"

"Perfectly well my dear," Hank had possessed the sense of mind to duck when Logan threw her. "I must say you are quite acrobatic."

"Yeah I get a lotta appreciation for that when we all spar," Rogue gave him a half grin. She carefully levitated Logan over to the exam bed again and sat him on it. Then she held him there. "See?" She floated over to him. "You're a big ole badass, and most a the time I love it. But every now and then? Well Wolverine, he just gets stubborn."

He growled at her again and she knew it was because her power was a gentle cage around him. He wasn't in any mood to care that it wasn't painful. "You let me go you fuckin' bitch an' we'll see who comes out the better in a fight."

"Aww…Sugar when you remember who I am you're gonna owe me a big apology." She teased as sweetly as she could and pushed past the sick twisted feeling in her lungs. "Tell you what. You get all better an' we'll have a nice match in the Danger room. And you can apologize to me before that. But for now, I'm holdin' you here until the Professor can talk to you."

"Fuck this noise," Wolverine was growling, louder than she'd ever heard him before. "You let me outta here." His claws were digging into the table and his eyes were like molten amber he was so angry.

"Can't do that sugar. You're memories are all goofed up. Dunno what year you think it is but I can garan-damn-tee you that it isn't right." She tilted her head as she heard the Professor's chair coming towards the infirmary. "This is Professor Xavier. He'll help you sort through that mess in your head."

"Rogue my dear, I take it that Logan has awoke with…some confusion?" Xavier always did have a gift for understatement.

"Try woke up on the massively wrong side of the bed without any memory of any of us," Rogue tried to keep her voice even but she was certain she hadn't succeeded when Logan's eyes narrowed and Xavier's expression softened with sympathy.

"Are you kiddin' me?" The feral amnesiac stared at her and then the other two incredulously. "Seriously?" From the look on his face and the tone of his voice he didn't believe she, or they, meant anything to him at all. It was a far cry from the declaration of love he'd given her in gruff but unmistakably sincere tones before they'd begun his procedure.

"Professor, I'm gonna let you take over now," Rogue snarled the words out. "Before he says somethin' I'll have to kick his ass for later." It was hard to not take it personally when he'd stared at her and denied vehemently that she was anything more than a captor or warm body to him. But that annoying empath in her head was muttering about Logan's indifference to any of them, not just her. He didn't know or care who Charles or Hank were either. He and Hank had been friends. It was like his memory was still gone but a different part of it. She looked at Xavier and whatever was in her face the older man agreed that he would assume responsibility for Logan.

"I've got him," Xavier nodded and Rogue decided this was the perfect time to put Nightcrawler's mutation to use.

* * *

It didn't take her long to develop a routine where she avoided the 'recovering' Wolverine as much as possible. She'd developed a sense of where he was in the mansion and shamelessly used Kurt's ability to leave any room Logan was about to enter. It might be a bit cowardly but she'd decided until she could be calm about it that she'd do better than to expose herself to a situation that was likely to result in tears. Tears would only make him think she was a weak little girl and reinforce the idea that she couldn't possibly mean anything to him.

It had been a week and he still had no idea who she was. He was gruff, rude and generally disinterested in anything to do with the school or the kids. Thus far he'd assigned a nickname to nearly every person he'd met. Professor Xavier had become Wheels, Beast was the Cookie Monster while Storm was Blanca. Rogue guessed that was because of Ro's white hair. He'd taken one look at Kurt and started calling him Minister. Firestar was Cutie and Pyro became Torch. Warren was extremely disgruntled since Logan had started to call him Fluffy.

Rogue sighed and leaned against the doorjamb that led into the TV room. The Professor had said the confusion upon Logan's return to consciousness had been caused by the healing of his brain. All of his memories were there but because his healing factor was actively working on repairing the damage, the memories most prominent were those from just before he was shot. Eventually he would remember everyone, and everything, but for now, reclaiming his past was the priority as his healing mutation created new neural pathways to those memories.

Now he was just watching hockey and drinking a beer, ignoring pretty much everyone around him. She had no doubt the he knew where everyone was, but the Wolverine didn't consider them a threat. Firestar came up behind her and smacked her ass lightly, pouting when Rogue didn't even startle. "You're no fun anymore."

"Let's face it," Rogue sighed as Angelica tugged her into the room and onto a couch with Pyro. "I wasn't much fun to begin with 'Gelica."

"Sure you were." Pyro disagreed. Wolverine gave a warning growl as they talked, irritated apparently that they didn't care he was watching a game. Out of consideration the younger man lowered his voice. "You just had a twisted sense of humor."

"It's not twisted, thank you very much," Rogue drawled with a dry quirk of her lips. "It's just warped. Slightly."

"I guess a lab'll do that to you," Angelica sighed. "By the way, when are you going to stop wearing all these clothes?" Her fingers plucked at the long sleeved shirt Rogue was wearing.

"I'm easin' into it." The other girl rolled her eyes. "You know everyone is still jittery about me." She wiggled her bare feet with pleasure and giggled when Pyro caught one and stroked his finger up her instep. "Long's my feet an' hands are bare, I could care less about my arms."

Jubilee and Kitty entered the room and Rogue could practically smell their intent. They were a large part of why she was avoiding Logan until he got his memory back. While he wasn't regarding her with open hostility anymore neither were they close. And pushing herself on him, making demands and acting like she had rights to him…she couldn't make herself do it just yet. If he didn't remember her, didn't remember what she was to him...His indifference would be devastating.

* * *

_Author's Note: Annndd... The madness begins again._

_Seriously did no one think that a brain that's been as screwed with as Logan's wouldn't have a few problems? _

_Don't bombard me with hate mail though... Just give me your reactions and trust me. I love hearing what all of you think... I just worry about the mob with pitchforks and torches._


	18. 18 like we did when spring began

_Chapter 18)_

Wolverine was not pleased. Displeased was probably the mildest way of expressing his feelings but he'd promised himself that he was not going to go claws out every time something pissed him off. He'd woken up to a beautiful face, but he hadn't known her. He'd wanted her right off, but he hadn't known her despite his instantaneous desire to have her. Nothing was familiar; nothing was even remotely similar to anything he knew. He couldn't even tell if he was in the same damn country.

Beautiful turned out to be powerful and more than a little dangerous. Not many had much of a spine once the Wolverine had done growling at them. But she'd given as good as she'd gotten. And then he'd said something that turned her scent sharp and painful. With a few words to the paraplegic she'd left and brimstone had replaced her unique scent.

He hadn't seen her again. Sure, he'd gotten glimpses and smelt more brimstone than he wanted in a lifetime. He'd heard about her. Everyone was whispering around him. For all like they acted as if they knew him they didn't seem to realize how well he heard. Whispers might as well be normal voices to his ears. The Rogue had gotten control, the rumors said. But the gossip was edged with caution and fear and talk of someone called Jean. Gossip said other things too, things that sounded too spiteful to be true even to his unfamiliar ears. Name calling was something that never seemed to change. Well, name calling and boys bragging and telling lies about their prowess.

Wheels was helping him, slowly sifting through all the memories crowding his head. He'd explained what had happened, what had been done, at his own request apparently. Beautiful had been waiting for him to wake up because she'd been the one who could remove the bullets. The Cookie Monster had read him the most eloquent and polite riot act he'd ever heard, to his knowledge anyway, about how worried she had been about him. Apparently he'd requested that she do the procedure, not any of the medical doctors, but her personally.

That was just flat out confounding. Not that he'd asked her to do it, if she could hold him still then she could obviously do a lot more. That she was worried was the odd part. Kayla was the only woman he remembered worrying about him. But she'd had ulterior motives, pure as they'd been; he hadn't truly trusted her at the end.

His head was full of all the shit he'd done. Victor, Stryker, Wade and Gambit, all the others…he'd have to track the gambler down and make sure he was all right. Somehow he'd need to come to terms with Victor, though that was never easy. Vic was his brother though. He didn't have so much family that he could turn his back on his brother.

He sighed and settled on the couch to watch the game. Hockey had been around for as long as he could remember and it was a comfort in the way few other things were. Of course back then it was just a fun game called shinney and no where near as organized. Half the time the dogs got involved, everyone went sliding, it was a glorious mess and a lotta fun.

He was smirking over a fight that had to be broken up when he felt someone behind him. The crazy kid Torch was on another couch but the one in the doorway was female. He inhaled deeply and realized it was Beautiful. And then a heated presence joined her and the murmur of female voices reached his ears. So Cutie and Beautiful were friends. And pals with Torch too if the way they settled onto the couch with him was any indication.

Why did everyone have to talk during a game? He growled a warning and was ignored. That wasn't surprising. Beautiful wasn't afraid of him and the other two seemed content to ignore him though they did lower their voices somewhat. At least they mostly talked during the commercials.

He nearly groaned as he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Two of the most annoying girls in the school were making a beeline for his couch. Prissy and Kathy, the two gossips, were probably around eighteen or nineteen and he'd yet to meet a more irritating pair. Prissy acted as if she was better than everyone else and Chatty Kathy would never shut up. If more than a quarter of what they said was accurate it was veiled in so many lies that he couldn't smell the truth.

Plus the smell of cosmetics, hair spray and perfume clashed horribly in his nose. One more reason he couldn't sift truth from lies in all their chatter. And of course…they were sitting down with him, trying to cuddle up to him on the small couch he'd chosen because it had almost no room for two let alone three. "You don't gotta move Wolvie," Kathy tittered at him. "We'll just each take a side."

"I wouldn't," He growled the threat and found himself summarily ignored. He was then surrounded by the stench of too many scents and the hot press of flesh against his arms. Bodies hemming him in, pushing, pressing, like being packed into a shelter in London, waiting for the bombs to fall…

He endured as long as he could, ten painful minutes of their jabber, until their voices were ringing in his ears and the words penetrated. "Guess she wasn't so hot as she thought she was." One voice had a screeching edge to it.

"Well it didn't take long," Prissy was sniffing as if she smelt something foul.

"Well it's one thing to be a slut but it's another to be a slut and bad at it." Kathy was hurling her words like spears at the other couch.

Melancholy and exhausted resignation along with fury, affection and vengeance were reaching his nose from the other couch. Beautiful looked tired, almost drained while Cutie and Torch were narrowing their eyes at the girls on either side of him.

He reached his limit when Kathy's hand ran over his forearm in a caress too possessive to be comfortable to the Wolverine. He snarled, his claws snapping out and jerked away from them both, off the silly little loveseat. He glared down at them from his battle ready stance and growled again. "You don't touch me like I belong to you unless you wanna lose a hand." The Wolverine would not tolerate ownership. His mate would not abide another woman's possessive touch on him. She would be furious.

The idea sparked something and he inhaled deeply. There was the scent of rage in the air, but who it came from was a mystery and he set that problem aside to pursue the fledgling thought.

Mate. The instinctive title for some unknown woman had come automatically. Wolverine snarled at the two girls instinctively as his brain filed through all his memories to date. Nothing. He could find no one whom he remembered calling Mate. For a Feral it was a word that went beyond spouse, husband, or wife. The human language had no words that encompassed all that a Mate was to a Feral.

"Man you can sit over here if you wanna still watch the game," Torch was brave enough to speak up and break the tension, unknowingly pulling the Wolverine from his thoughts. "Plenty of room here."

Wolverine turned to look at the three sitting on the longer couch. It was a sectional thing, curved on one end, and they were lounging on it. Beautiful stood and moved over so there was plenty of room for him on one end sacrificing her relaxed position to do so. He nodded slowly and took a place next to her, leaving enough space that she could curl her feet up if she liked.

"Oooh…look its true lurrrvee…" Kathy drawled in a tawdry imitation of Beautiful's sweet southern accent. "Or as close as you'll ever get."

"Bitch," Prissy rolled her eyes and the two of them subsided into their own conversation.

He ignored them and studied the pretty girl sitting beside him, if by beside could be interpreted as 'separated by a foot and a half'. She was slightly flushed and smelled of embarrassment and sorrow with the salt of repressed tears. The redhead reached out a hand and wrapped it around Beautiful's arm, tugging her closer until Beautiful was laying with her head in Cutie's lap. Mahogany and pearl hair spread over a slender back and the other girl petted and stroked until Beautiful was more relaxed.

Her feet had come inches from his thigh when she'd curled her feet up and he looked at them curiously. She had small, almost delicate looking feet, but her soles were callused and hardened. She spent a lot of time without shoes or she practiced martial arts, or both. Her toes were all straight and well-shaped; if they'd ever been broken she'd had them set well. And her toenails were painted a funny iridescent green, like a peacock's tail.

Without even thinking about it he stroked the back of his finger over her arch and got kicked in the thigh for his trouble. From the giggle and mortified scent he guessed that Beautiful was pretty ticklish and the kick was reflex. "Sorry sugar," Beautiful apologized.

"I guess you owe me more'n a few kicks before we're even." He offered slowly. "Least you didn't kick me in the balls."

Her giggle was sweet, infectious as Cutie began to snicker and Torch started to chuckle. He liked her laugh. Even her giggle was throatier, not high pitched. And when the soles of her feet settled against his outer thigh his hand wrapped around her ankle of its own accord and his thumb rubbed over her soft skin.

* * *

The TV was still on, playing some banal show that involved men behaving stupidly and women sniggering at them. He woke with a start, his claws sliding out as the laugh track was cued for a particularly loud reaction.

He was alone. From the darkness and silence of the mansion it was well into the night and long past curfew. He exhaled slowly and let his thoughts return to his dream. "Marie." He murmured the name thoughtfully. Gorgeous green eyes, scars and a mouth that felt like heaven under his. Silken skin and satin hair, long legs and perfect breasts all pressed to his body beneath warm quilts. Soft laughter in his ears and the scent of pure love in his nose when he rubbed his lips over a slender white neck. Loyalty and strength as she let his body cover hers and panting moans of need in his ears. The feel of scars on her thighs under his hands, damp dark curls and the scent of a woman's musk. The Wolverine wasn't capable of purring but that memory, that dream, had him wanting to. He growled to himself and considered the women he'd met at the school.

He doubted it was anyone younger than eighteen. From what Wheels had said most of the younger women were intimidated by him. Others didn't match the description. He hadn't seen anyone with eyes that green. The frown that creased his face was frustrated as he went through his memories. Beautiful had green eyes; at least he thought she did. Couldn't be sure. She had only met his gaze when he'd been threatening her in the medical bay and that had been fleeting. Her face had been shadowed and her eyes dark beneath long lashes, half hidden under tousled sable and platinum hair.

He could hardly go up to her and ask her to strip so he could see if she had scars. Or kiss her to see if her mouth on his matched that feeling he'd experienced in his dreams. "Mate." He muttered the word and stood. He could find her and see if he could get a good look at her eyes. He knew her scent at least.

* * *

The woman was impossible to find! And for him that was saying something. He could follow her scent through the school but it always ended with the smell of brimstone. She was obviously teleporting elsewhere. In three days of looking he hadn't seen her once.

He'd been in the library trying to track her when Cookie Monster had found him. "You might like this back." The blue feral handed him a beat up fabric bound volume with loose papers stuck into the pages. "As I understand it you used to have Rogue read to you from that while you worked on the engines."

The Wolverine regarded the book dubiously. It was an anthology of collected verse. But smack on the cover, almost obscuring part of the title was his handprint outlined in oil. There was no denying the book was his.

He'd lost track of time that day reading through the book, finding his memories of the first time he'd read it. There were others, of Beautiful reading to him while he lay underneath a car, just as Cookie had said. Her voice was soft and sassy sweet with her accent, interested in hearing what he had to say and telling him her own thoughts. He opened one paper and read it quickly before he looked through the others. He felt a sense of pride when he looked at them but no memories of the author. Wolverine frowned and reread the first one again. "All Good Things..." He muttered and took the book back to his room where he felt safe reading it aloud.

"You had stood before me  
In the spring of my life  
And made me face my death  
In the realization of the fact:  
All Men Do Die.  
And then after teaching me  
All you could of your wisdom,  
When I had come to love you,  
You realized your own death.

You were gone before  
I could thank you,  
Or rage at you.  
For forcing me to face  
My arrogance in my assumption  
That there is time, and  
Plenty, in life.  
For regrets,  
For cabbages and kings,  
And love and all good things..."

He spent his evening reading through all the loose pages. None of them were signed. None of them held any scent but his. But someone had trusted him with these. Someone who had been through a hell to rival his own. Who it could be... That was something to think about. He had no memories to support being a mentor to anyone with this sort of gift. But Cookie had said Rogue had read from this book to him. Was she his Mate? Had his Mate written these verses?

* * *

Another day searching and finally he went back down to the medical bay in the hopes of finding Cookie and asking where the hell Beautiful was. She'd either just been there or Minister had been hanging around with Cookie because there was a lot of brimstone in the air.

But instead of Cookie there was a willowy redhead in the infirmary. "Uh, hey." He greeted her uncomfortably.

"Hello Logan," She gave him a cool but friendly smile. "You don't remember me. I'm Doctor Jean Grey."

"No, sorry, don't remember anybody here. Apparently everyone and their brother knows me though." He rubbed the back of his head uncomfortably. He still wasn't used to that. People knowing all about him and him not knowing them did not make for an easy Wolverine.

"It's all right. You'll remember eventually," Her voice was regal but kind. He didn't like her perfume but that wasn't anything new. "It's nice for me actually. I was…having problems and I was quite unkind to you and to Rogue because of them."

"Yeah?" He wasn't really interested but Rogue was Beautiful's name and maybe he could gather a little intel here after all. "What'd you do? Throw me in a freezin' lake?"

"No." Jean smiled and shook her head. "No I'm afraid I abused my power and your trust. I don't have good reasons, only excuses. I'm still not entirely well. And I have no idea how I'm going to make amends with Rogue."

"What'd you do to her?" He leaned against the doorjamb and looked at her curiously. "No offense but the woman's a powerhouse. Doesn't seem like there's much you could do."

"Never underestimate the spite and cruelty of a woman who believes she is scorned. Or a woman who doesn't want any competition." Doctor Grey told him quietly. She raised a hand and a tray of instruments floated over to her counter. "And in spite of my behavior, Rogue helped me."

"I'm actually lookin' for her." He admitted finally. "Thought maybe Cookie would be able to give me a hint. I wasn't too…pleasant to her when I woke up."

"Logan you're not generally pleasant to anyone." Her smile was amused. "It's part of your charm. Or so I've been assured." She tilted her head. "I could try to find her if you like."

"How?" He frowned and thought it over. "Actually, maybe you could answer a question for me."

"If I can, I will." She nodded and perched on a high stool, turning to look at him directly.

"I'm lookin' for someone named Marie." He pushed the words past his suddenly numb tongue. "There anybody here by that name? Most likely it'd be an adult."

She turned to the computer and brought up a list but shook her head after a moment's search. "I have two Marys and one Marie. But the girl named Marie is a toddler. Unless you have a daughter?" She was studying him thoughtfully.

The disappointment of the Wolverine had him leaning more heavily against the doorway and he shook his head slowly. "Nah. No kids that I know of."

"Well," she paused and her scent sharpened while her gaze grew distant. "Rogue is several miles west of the mansion. She's off the beaten path by quite a ways." Her gaze focused on him again instead of her inner sight. "I think if you head west into the woods you'll find her eventually."

He nodded, "Nobody ever told me why you all call me Logan." He offered the statement as a question and her smile twisted slightly.

"You came to us with very little, an old truck, dog tags and the clothes on your back." She said softly. "The tags simply read 'Wolverine'. You told us to call you Logan."

The Wolverine was studying her, trying to determine why she was familiar to him. He remembered a girl with red hair, from long ago but she was long dead. "Did I kiss you at some point?" He was sure he remembered a hot kiss that had only ended in pain.

"Yes. Right before I told you that I couldn't be with you." She nodded a bit sadly. "I wasn't a happy woman. I couldn't seem to be content with the love I had. I teased you, led you on with flirtations and conversations in the shadows. But when you kissed me...I..." She paused and he could smell her shame. "I implied that you weren't good enough for me."

"I used to call you Red." He knew that with certainty.

"You did." She smiled. "You have names for all of us. Not all of them flattering but every one of them accurate in some way." She looked at her screen and took a deep breath. "There are...more than a few people here who go only by their mutant name. You may be the only one who knows who your Marie is."

"And of course my fucked up brain just went and buried it." Wolverine snarled the irritated words out. "Isn't that just a little ridiculous? Apparently I wanted all these memories unburied but now I can't remember why?"

"The why is simple." She shrugged and bent to her microscope before making a note as she continued to speak. "You have always put the safety of others above your own. I wasn't...privy to the decision making process but I can infer from your past behavior that you likely wanted to be sure there was no threat from your past coming for you or the people here."

"I can get that. It makes sense." He sighed. "Just don't care for being an amnesiac a second time you know?"

"Only too well." She smiled at him before she made another note. "If you go down the hall and out the exit you'll be at the west side of the house. Just keep going straight and you'll pick up her scent soon enough."

"Thanks." He went to leave and then turned to look at her. "I never asked. How do you know where she is?"

"I'm a telepath." Her smile was humorous. "And Rogue's mind is...unique. Unmistakable for any telepath."

"Huh." He shook his head and hurried down the hall. Sure enough, right where she said there was an exit. The Wolverine sniffed the area curiously and he had another flash of memory being in these halls, walking next to the Professor and talking about Akali Lake.

* * *

Red hadn't steered him wrong. Once he hit the woods it wasn't hard to find Beautiful. All he had to do was listen, take a deep breath and then follow her scent. Of course she could fly. And do that annoying brimstone trick, but even she couldn't beat his senses out in the open air. He'd been hunting and tracking for over a hundred years.

As he closed in on her location he heard odd thumping and the scent of burning wood. He hoped if she'd built a fire that she'd had the sense to dig a pit for it. Whatever she was doing to make that thumping noise was beyond his reasoning.

The clearing he came to was unexpected. But from the looks of things it hadn't been there long. A few stumps still remained on the edges and the thumping he'd heard turned out to be logs being dropped into a pile. There were a few trees that were still standing. Mostly oaks though there was a maple or two.

In the middle of the new clearing stood a small tent beside a well dug fire pit with smoke rising out of it. Beautiful was hovering in the air another log in her hands and he got a first hand demonstration of her strength as she gave the wood a negligent little push and set it soaring over to the pile with a loud thump.

She turned to look at him afterwards and flew closer, hovering a few feet out of his arms reach. "Something I can do for you?" Beautiful didn't seem particularly glad to see him. But judging from the clearing around her she was a bit busy. Her hair was bound back, tight and businesslike at the base of her neck and her eyes were dark with shadow still.

"Wanted to see you," He shrugged and moved forward towards the fire pit. He nodded approvingly after a moment's inspection. It was dug very well, lined with stones and surrounded by more stones. The area was clear of dry leaves and pine needles so any spark that escaped wouldn't start a forest fire. Whoever had taught her woodcraft had done a good job.

"Well you've seen me." She shrugged and landed nearby, walking over to the fire pit. "Somethin' else you wanted sugar?"

"You did a good job with this." He commented on the fire pit mostly because he didn't have anything else to say. He hadn't gotten to talk with her much since he'd woken up. A few words during a hockey game didn't count to his mind.

"I had a good teacher." She picked up a stump and sat it down near the pit. Another stump served as her stool as she took a seat. "You didn't come out here to compliment me on my wood craft." A graceful hand, white as lilies and looking just as soft gestured to the other stump. "Have a seat and get whatever it is off your chest." Beautiful's mouth curved in a smile and she didn't seem to be seeing him for a moment. "God knows you deserve the chance to talk. I know you haven't gotten all your memories back."

"How can you tell?" Wolverine tilted his head as he took his seat. Unlike the last time he'd seen her, today she was dressed in tough looking work clothes. A flannel shirt way too big for her, thick jeans and a thermal undershirt with sturdy boots matched the tight coil of hair at the base of her neck. She seemed more relaxed but at the same time there was nothing soft about her today. She had her guard up for some reason.

"I know you sugar." Beautiful chuckled and shrugged. "If you remembered everything you'd be a lot happier."

"Yeah." He shrugged. "I remembered, something, coupla days ago." He remembered that flash of knowledge, that feeling, absolute rightness and the rage he'd had to contain. "When Prissy and Kathy were trying to manhandle me-"

"Sorry, who?" She shook her head and Wolverine remembered that she hadn't been around to learn all the names he had for the kids.

"Uh Prissy is the girl who can melt through walls?" He explained with a smirk. "And Chatty Kathy is the mouth with fireworks."

"Kitty and Jubilee." Beautiful nodded her understanding. "So them grabbing onto you the other night sparked somethin'?"

"Yeah." He took a deep breath and just for a second enjoyed the clean air in his lungs. "I had this thought...just this certainty... My mate would be furious if I let them touch like they owned me. Nobody was allowed to touch like that except her. You know?"

"Oh yeah. Yeah that I get." She smiled again. "So you remembered that you have a woman. That's good."

He studied her and inhaled again. She seemed a bit more relaxed and her smile seemed pleased for him. It was always an oddity to him, how easily the Wolverine could smell truth on someone. "An' when I woke up later, remembered a name. Marie." He watched her closely as he said the name and saw a spark of recognition in her eyes. Her eyes were a deep dark green, just like the forest around them. "No record of a woman named Marie at the school though."

"No." Her voice was soft. "Lotta the kids only use their mutant names. Depends on where they came from." She looked at him thoughtfully, wariness in her gaze. "Did you remember anything else?"

"Green eyes." He said in his quietest voice. "She has scars. Surgical scars and marks like she's been tortured." The Feral shifted slightly but remained on his stump. Last thing he wanted was to spook her or make her think he was going to try to strangle her again.

"Present tense." She noticed. "You think she's alive."

"Yeah. That's how it feels." He stared at her, trying to read each flicker of expression and the minute darkening of her eyes. "You got green eyes." He told her. "Dunno if you got scars. But I remember one more thing." Wolverine deliberately relaxed his body. He'd learned a long time ago that if he was at least slightly less tense people didn't expect an attack.

"What's that sugar?" Beautiful's mouth tilted in a half smile, dry and darkly amused by something. Her scent twisted bitterly and he lunged.

She could fly and she might be invulnerable but he was damn fast and she'd been surprised. Rolling with her off the stump and onto the dirt was a lot more fun than he'd had any right to expect. And when she was trapped under him the Wolverine growled and took her mouth.

God! Hot and sweet and perfect. Heaven under his lips as she gasped and he groaned and took the opportunity to plunder her mouth with his tongue. The taste of her was beyond any other woman he'd ever had. All he wanted was more. She was his. The taste of her was what haunted his memories. Her taste and her scent. He'd gotten close enough during the hockey game to smell her scent, pure and sweet and that had triggered his dream. Even with their history together temporarily lost to him he couldn't forget her taste, scent or the feel of her beneath him.

She was shivering under him, her hands fisted in his collar and hair even as she devoured his lips right back. One of her hands slid down between their bodies and grasped him boldly, stroking through his jeans. "Is this what you remember sugar?" She muttered the question against his lips.

"No." He groaned and rolled again, pulling her over him so he could see her face in the light. Those burning emerald eyes were the ones he'd seen. His mate. Marie. "This is what I remember." He sat up, held her hips to his and wrapped his hand around her hair. His kiss wasn't gentle; he was a rough, rude and possessive male. "I remember your eyes. Your mouth like heaven under mine. And your scent. God, your scent in my nose...so good." He dipped his face to her neck and collarbone and inhaled deeply.

"Well until you remember a bit more...this is as far as we go." She informed him dryly. Those green eyes were warm but still a bit watchful. Not that he could blame her. The man she'd taken to mate was buried under the man he used to be. "Why'd you think I've been keepin' my distance sugar?"

"I thought you were pissed at me." He shrugged, not able to really blame her. "I was kinda an ass."

"Wow, there's somethin' new under the sun." She chuckled, "Logan was an ass."

"Didn't get the impression I was usually an ass to you though." He remarked and knew that he was right. Her reactions weren't practiced enough for his behavior to be normal for her.

"Not normally no." His woman shrugged again. "But we knew this could happen. It's why I stayed. The man might not remember me but the Wolverine?" Her palm rested over his heart. "The Wolverine can't forget his mate. You just needed some time."

"Time and distance huh?" He looked around. "You've been sleepin' out here." It wasn't a question. He could smell the sleeping bag with her scent inside the tent and it was strong enough that she'd been out here at least a week.

"Well yeah. You're in our room." She rolled her eyes and that felt so familiar he almost laughed.

"Beautiful you really oughta have kicked me out. Why should you go without a bed so I can act like a dick?" He chuckled and let his hand drift down her back. "What're you doin' out here anyway?"

"Professor says we've got a new Feral student coming, he thinks." She shrugged. "I pointed out that a young Feral might not do so well in the mansion. Jackal's okay for now but someone really new? And very young? Lots of smells, noise and depending on how acute the senses are? Lots of distractions. So the decision was to renovate or rebuild the various outbuildings on the estate." She indicated the stone foundation, fireplace and chimney with a tilt of her head. "Used to be a gameskeeper's cottage. Only thing that wasn't falling apart was the stone."

"Need a hand?" He was enjoying how she felt, straddling his hips but sooner or later she was going to climb off him.

"Gotta get a tarp spread out over the logs, get them drying out so they can be cut down." She told him and as he'd suspected she would, floated off of his body. "I read that if you stack the logs across each other, and then the opposite way, that air circulates and the wood'll dry better."

"Better to put 'em on the stone. Leave the logs on the ground the bottom layer'll be worthless from the damp." He told her.

Her saucy grin as she grabbed her tarp and began tying it to the trees she'd left around the foundation nearly had him trying to grab her for another kiss. But after a good afternoon's work, logs drying under the tarp, and a cup of campfire coffee Beautiful gave him a kiss of her own accord.

"C'mon Beautiful," Wolverine grinned down at her. "Let's go an' get some grub."

"So you gotta tell me somethin'." She began to walk back with him after carefully extinguishing the fire. His grunt of acknowledgement got a good humored shake of her head but she continued with her question. "You gave everybody else a nickname. Why didn't you give me one?"

"I did." He looked at her curiously. "You're Beautiful. 'S your name. Since I woke up."

"Huh." She smiled slightly. "Wish I'd known earlier. Mighta made me feel a bit better." He gave her a curious look and she elaborated. "You're the only one who's ever told me that I was beautiful Logan."

It might be a selfish thought but he liked that a lot.

* * *

_Author's Note: So a bit longer but I didn't want for the angst to go on too long. I figured one of the first things he'd remember was that he had a mate, it would just be a matter of finding the right stimuli to prompt his brain. And I didn't want it to be scent right off. I wanted something contrary to his nature. We've all read fics where Wolverine is a man whore with women hanging off him and there's an element of realism to those fics. _

_So I thought of course, Kitty and Jubilee would love the fact that Rogue's apparently been dumped and would try to rub it in by snuggling with Wolverine in front of her. And if he wasn't mated he might have enjoyed it. So when they start touching and he doesn't like it...it's a surprise for him and them. _

_Then its just a matter of hunting Rogue down and testing a hypothesis. I hope you guys liked this. He still doesn't have all his memories but they're mostly back together. So we'll see how this goes...more growing to do I think. _


	19. 19 wake me up when September ends

_Chapter 19)_

Rogue slanted a look at Logan and covered her smile with her hand. He hadn't regained his memory yet, though he claimed kissing her definitely made him not care as much at least for the moment. He was slowly but surely working his way through what he had recalled so far. But he couldn't stand to be idle while he did his thinking. Apparently hard work was second nature to him. He was covered in sawdust and sweat, so much so that he'd said he was going to just dive into the lake and get half clean that way before he went back to the school.

"Laughin' at me over there?" He accused in a mock angry voice as he cut another chunk of log into even boards.

"You have sawdust and woodchips in your hair," Rogue finally just began to laugh. "You look ridiculous." He made a rude noise and continued working while she concentrated on the logs in front of her. They'd had a hard rain a few days after the logs had been left to dry. Now she was trying to use Phoenix's talent to dry the logs without incinerating them. It was a slow and careful process but it was working.

"And you're sweatin' through your shirt Beautiful." He teased back. That had been a nice change. Around her at least he was relaxing enough to tease. Painful though it might be that he didn't remember their history together he did trust her and that was some comfort. While they'd been working he'd told her about his history, his memories to date, including the fact that Victor Creed, the infamous Sabretooth was his half brother.

"Mississippi ladies don't sweat," Rogue stuck out her tongue at him. "We glow."

"You glow anymore an' you're gonna look like a wet light bulb." He finished the boards and moved them underneath the tarp. Thankfully Ororo had agreed to let know if another storm was on the way. "C'mon. Professor wanted you to work with the Tin Man today remember?"

"Tin Man, Cookie Monster, Wheels..." She rolled her eyes and moved the log under the tarp. "Sometimes I wonder if you just can't remember everyone's name."

"I remember yours." His hands were huge, wrapped around her waist and bringing her body close to his. "My Marie." That wonderful firm, hot mouth descended to hers again and for a moment all she could feel was the heat of his kiss, the near frantic beat of his heart against hers and the rush of blood through her body. That hadn't changed. The emotions she felt from him now, now that he wasn't guarded and uncertain, were the same as he'd felt before the surgery.

"Hmm...Sugar you really are bad for my equilibrium." She leaned against him after he released her mouth. It would be so easy to just fall into bed with him, to let emotions and sensation take over. But if she panicked, if the nightmares started again, Wolverine wouldn't know what to do and without that knowledge she could hurt him badly and not just physically.

"And you're the reason I get no sleep." He muttered against her forehead. "Why won't you just share a bed with me?" His hands were rubbing up and down her spine persuasively. "I get that until I remember us we shouldn't have sex. This ain't about that."

"Sugar I..." She hesitated. How could she tell him that she didn't trust herself? She was afraid she'd get so desperate to be close to him that she'd seduce him. That she'd push him into sex just so he'd remember her.

"You don't trust me." He growled and it had more hurt in it than anger. Golden eyes glared down at her and dared her to disagree. She didn't need the empathy she'd absorbed to know how much pain she'd just caused him.

"I don't trust me!" She threw the confession at him. "Sugar...you're the only one I truly trust here. You...you're the one who knows everything. Everything that happened to me. How fucked up I was." A deep breath and staunch control kept the tears from overflowing her eyes. "I don't trust myself to share a bed with you and not...expect the understanding you had of me before to be there now. I want to...God! I want to sleep with you. I want us to..." She forced herself to swallow the sob that tried to escape. "I want you inside me...so badly. But I could hurt you...and I couldn't stand that."

"Shit." He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at her. "The scars. Those are from a lab. Not surgery to help you after an accident like I thought. You got out of a lab." He stumbled and sat down hard on the ground. "Shit, Marie I'm sorry. I'm sorry I thought..."

"You thought it was 'cause I didn't trust you." She knelt in front of him and pressed her palm to his cheek. "Logan, I love you. I trust you. But there are things that terrify me still. And I don't want to hurt you or disappoint you."

"Oh fuck that." He stood as abruptly as he'd sat and grabbed her up against his body for a hard kiss. "You're sleepin' with me from now on Beautiful. I don't care if I gotta wear jeans to bed. I want you naked and warm under those quilts with me so I can breathe you in. And if I do somethin' that scares you...well, you'll tell me, I'll back off and we'll figure another way of doin' things."

She sighed and let him have his way. It was weakness but it had been weeks since she'd slept beside him and the lack of his warmth made the nights seem endless. The worst that could happen was a nightmare. It wasn't as if he could hurt her. She knew her skin didn't turn on in her sleep, not even during the nightmares. But if she hurt him...if she used the absorbed mutations on him...she'd have to be very careful. "All right." She inhaled and began to float out of his grip. "I'll grab my bag."

"Your bag?" His eyebrows rose and then lowered dangerously. "You've been living out here? Not just sleeping?"

"Sugar, pick your battles." Rogue retorted. "I'm gonna be livin' in your room. You really wanna start a fight now?"

"No." She could almost taste his irritation as she teleported back, grabbed her bag and popped back in front of him again. "No I don't wanna fight now. Later maybe." He grinned down at her. "You said somethin' about the Danger Room?"

"You don't wanna take me on when you're still ignorant hon." Rogue shook her head with a laugh. "'Sides I gotta get to work with Piotr and Professor X."

"Mind if I sit in?" He asked hopefully. "Maybe I'll recognize something."

She nodded and pretended to recoil, "Long's you shower first. Whew..." She waved a hand in front of her face. Green eyes sparkled mischievously for a moment before her stoic expression broke and she began to giggle. "That's some cologne Wolverine."

His reaction, predictably enough, was like that of any boy who's trying to make his girl squeal. The mighty Wolverine began to rub his sweaty sawdust covered hair all over Rogue's face, making kissy noises as he did so. She was pretty certain that her giggling shrieks hurt his ears but when she began to run the only thing he could do was chase her.

A diving tackle landed them in the lake. Drenched, but considerably less odiferous Logan began to chuckle evilly as Rogue backed away from him, still giggling. Thankful that she'd had the sense to drop her bag before she'd been pulled into the lake, Rogue grabbed it and ran.

* * *

To say that the session with Piotr and Xavier had not gone well would be an understatement. Rogue groaned and felt Wolverine' hand rub her spine in silent support. He was taking this better than she had even if he was growling every other minute.

It had started out all right. Logan had taken a seat near the window while she'd sat in one of Xavier's desk chairs. Piotr had brought his sketchpad and taken a seat at Xavier's desk so he had a stable surface for his drawing. The Wolverine had been watchful, protective but she'd felt perfectly safe. This was a chance for her to help, to do something about the damn lab and the mutants that might still be trapped there.

"All right Rogue," Professor Xavier's voice was as soothing as he could make it. "If you'll try to project one face, I'll do my best to 'catch' it and reinforce it for Piotr."

"I'll try to keep 'em straight." She'd been nervous. "Some of 'em, might not be mutants. The guards or the scientists..."

"It's okay Rogue," Colossus had grinned at her. "We'll both just do our best, yes?"

And they had. Unfortunately after about six faces Logan had wandered over. His eyes had widened and he looked at Rogue in shock. He hadn't said anything but Xavier's sharp look at Logan and then at her had not been reassuring. Two more faces and Xavier was looking fit to curse. Logan looked at one of them and shook his head. "Beautiful, where'd you see this one?" He held up the sketch of a man with a wicked grin and close dark hair. Muttonchops and a hint of fang in his grin completed the impression of a very dangerous individual.

"He was in the thoughts of another mutant I was forced to absorb. He was in the facility but I don't recall meeting him." She had looked at Piotr and sent him one more picture.

That one got Xavier actually cursing. "Rogue, I cannot believe you haven't mentioned this before." He gave her a stern look just short of a glare. "Surely you cannot claim ignorance of who this is?"

"His name is Erik," Rogue looked up at Logan who was standing protectively near her chair now and giving the professor a hard look of his own. "He's a German immigrant and he survived the concentration camps." She looked back at the professor with a slight frown. Why was he so upset? What had she done wrong?

"He is Magneto, a highly dangerous mutant known for leading the Brotherhood, among other things." Xavier snapped. "You have had this man in your mind for who knows how many years and yet never saw fit to mention it?"

"Contrary to what you might believe, I don't gain the entire life story of a mutant through absorption." She barely kept herself from snarling the words as she finally got an inkling of his concerns. "I got enough to learn German from him, to know about his childhood, to see what happened to him when he was younger. There were a few memories from later in his life but at no time did he refer to himself as Magneto in those memories."

"Wheels what the hell are you so pissed about?" The Wolverine's words had a low rasping quality to them that she knew from experience was the precursor to a growl of fury. He might feel grateful to Xavier for helping him but that didn't mean the professor had the right to speak to his woman with such accusation in his tone.

"She has not one but several enemies of the X-Men in her mind but she has said nothing of them," Xavier retorted. "Apart from the possibility of Rogue losing control and someone like Magneto governing her, we could have used this information to stop them."

"How?" Rogue snapped at him. "We haven't gone up against any of these mutants. They're most likely still in the lab. You think I wouldn't have noticed if one of the people in my head was right in front of me? I'd recognize each of them."

"Are there more?" The look Xavier was giving her was not friendly. It took everything she had to not shrink in on herself.

"A few. Some I only saw, didn't absorb them. Some of them have purely physical talents and I don't take on extreme physical attributes." Rogue forced the words past her lips. "I don't know how many were in the labs that I didn't see."

"I want every face you saw." The Professor hadn't been asking.

* * *

He was getting the oddest feeling of déjà vu, not that such a sensation was out of the norm these days. But it happened more and more around Marie. When he'd mentioned it her mouth had curved into a smile and she'd suggested that perhaps it was a precursor to his memories of her rising to the forefront of his mind. Or maybe just a way to remind him that he knew her, that she was his and this should be familiar.

To get his brain on board with the rest of him he'd take the weird feelings. Especially if it meant he would have a better idea of what to do when Beautiful was so upset. "Years." She was saying. "It's been years that I've lived at the school. Years of training and learning and dealing with all these bratty kids who've never even seen the inside of a lab. Kids who thought it was funny to torment me over scars and not being able to touch and my friendship with you. I was raped over and over in those laps and then the kids here called me a whore. I never once did anything to them."

"Whadda ya mean tormented?" That got his attention right quick and with a growl to punctuate the question. The rape he'd revisit at another time. It was obvious she'd already told him all about it and he wasn't going to make her go over it again. It just made a little more sense why she'd been worried about sleeping with him before he got all his memories back.

"Don't get all worked up about it Sugar." His darlin' soothed him as best she could while her own mental state was in an uproar. He hadn't had so many friends in his life that he could take her gentle kindnesses for granted and he was willing to bet the life he couldn't remember wasn't much different.

"I'm gonna get a lot more worked up if you don't tell me what the fuck you meant by tormented." He snarled, wound his finger around a lock of her silky hair and tugged to get her attention. "Maybe my memory is fucked up but that don't mean you ain't mine Beautiful. So let's hear it."

"Whoever woulda thought we'd be goin' over this again." Her murmur was amused. "You know how Prissy and Kathy were rubbin' up on you? And the names they were callin' me? It's been like that. Those girls took a dislike to me since you're the one who brought me here and pretty much announced that I was your responsibility. They were jealous." Now that he just didn't get and it showed on his face. "Sugar they were jealous because they were interested in you. They thought the only reason you weren't interested in them was they weren't old enough. But here I was, only a year or so older'n them an' you were pretty much claimin' me."

"Well at least I had that much sense." Wolverine wasn't feeling too thrilled with his idiotic other self who'd bring a girl from a lab to a zoo like Xavier's school. "Didn't all that stop when I put a ring on your finger?" He held up her left hand and rubbed his thumb over her bare ring finger and she froze slightly in his arms. He looked at her hand and then at her face and growled again. "Don't tell me."

"You put your tags around my neck before they sent you away for more'n three years." Rogue offered that as if it was supposed to be consolation. "It isn't like either of us has a lot of money sugar."

"They sent me away from you?" He stared down at her and noted the melancholy twist of her lips even as she leaned back so her cheek was against his neck. "Why the hell'd they do that? What'd I do? Take you to bed before you were legal?"

"No." Beautiful actually laughed at that and began to explain about Jean and Scott and how Jean had been before the last few weeks. Hearing about his long absence, his method of courting her during the holidays, (she might not have realized but he damn sure knew what his other self had been doing with all those gifts) and what had happened while he'd been gone got him growling in frustrated fury. Bobby Drake and his attitude was the last straw.

"The fuck was wrong with me?" He roared the question as his claws erupted from his knuckles in a burst of strangely satisfying pain and blood. "Shoulda taken you with me. I had any sense I'd never a left you here alone. What happened to me? Did someone come along and put my balls in a jar that I just did whatever they told me? Nobody separates me from my mate." He growled down at his Marie to punctuate the statement appropriately. "Nobody."

"Don't you yell at me Wolverine." Marie wasn't taking any nonsense from him and her snippy tone proved it. God he loved that. No wonder she was his. Anybody who could stand up to him when he was ready to kill or maim someone was a keeper. "I dunno what happened with you but I'd bet it had something to do with losing your memories." She coaxed him back down on the bed and stroked her hand up and down his chest. "I've noticed that since you've regained your old memories that you're a lot more…integrated."

"Integrated?" He looked at her. "How'd you mean darlin'?" Wolverine wanted her closer, and he pulled her into his lap without even thinking about it.

"Before…I could always tell the two sides of you." Those gentle fingers were stroking over his face now. "There was Logan, the man. And there was the Wolverine, the animal." She soothed his irritated growl with a kiss on his pulse. "It didn't matter to me. I love you both. And I could always tell the difference with your eyes. Wolverine makes your eyes glow amber." She smiled up at him. "But now, it's like both sides of you are meshing better. The man doesn't seem to have a leash on the Wolverine. You've always got that amber in your eyes, not always predominant but it's there."

"'S how it should be." Wolverine grunted. "Gotta be whole, can't split myself down the middle. Too much…overlap between the man and the animal. That's what Feral is."

"I know. But I think…when you lost your memory you mighta lost that balance. Lost whatever part of you accepted and understood that." Beautiful's eyes were almost glowing emerald as she smiled up at him. "Even if you don't remember a lot about me yet, it's worth it. You're more…at peace with yourself. I'm glad for that."

"Yeah, me too." He nodded and looked down at her. "I want those memories of you though Marie. I want to remember you tellin' me your name. And when we first met. And the first time I kissed you. The first time for everything with you. I want that back." He realized his claws had retracted and half smiled as he ran a hand through her hair. "But right now...before someone else comes to order us around…I'm gonna do what I shoulda done five years ago."

"What's that sugar." She grinned at him and he smiled back, wicked thoughts on his lips.

"I'm gonna put a ring on it."

* * *

She hadn't believed him, or maybe she thought he was joking. He couldn't be sure. But she hadn't argued with him. When he'd ordered her to get dressed her only caveat was that he'd better find a nicer tone of voice when he was talking to her or he could find himself a new place to sleep.

He'd pulled on a slightly better pair of jeans and a shirt that she tossed to him. He recognized it, vaguely, as something he might have worn with a suit once upon a time. His boots and jacket and then he sat on the bed and watched Marie get dressed.

She'd pulled her clothes out of her bag, and did something to shake the wrinkles out of them before she pulled them on. Her perfume was next, tiny dabs on her skin, tickling his nose pleasantly. It added jasmine and oranges to her own scent along with a touch of vanilla and didn't smell so strongly that it made him sneeze.

When he commented about liking it she'd thrown a grin at him and told him he'd bought it for her. She pushed her feet into a pair of heels and did something to her face with a couple of little brushes before she grabbed her own jacket and pronounced herself ready.

Getting to New York was a bit more difficult but it wasn't that far and he was damned if he was going to ask permission to leave. Beautiful just shook her head when he said the truck wouldn't do and led him to a car. It was a discreet Lexus in gunmetal grey and didn't shout money but it would be comfortable.

It also, as he found out on the road, had a hell of a motor in it.

* * *

Well he'd surprised her. That was for damn sure. They'd barely made it to the bank before closing hours but the minute he'd said James Logan Howlett the manager had come rushing over. All the kow-towing was damned irritating but he would tolerate it from the idiot banker to get the job done. The heavy card in his wallet pretty much guaranteed Marie could have any ring she wanted.

He usually couldn't care less about such things, Feral mutants not being known for wearing jewelry or fine clothing. But it had been fun to swan in and out of Cartier's when all of their rings seemed obnoxiously huge on Marie's delicate fingers. And his mate had been so deliciously shocked when he'd just sneered at the selection. He had found a pretty set of pearls in coppery brown and grabbed those up. The heavy black American Express card had silenced any less than flattering remarks about his wardrobe.

Even more fun was fastening the pearls around Beautiful's neck and handing her the earrings. He'd gotten to sweep that gorgeous fall of hair out from under the fat pearls and nodded in satisfaction as they gleamed against her white skin. He eyed the ring and the bracelet critically and when she shook her head agreed that they'd be a bit much. Back into the box and Cartier bag they went.

Tiffany's was still just as classy despite the amount of trash that shopped there. Every moron and his brother wanted their girl to have that blue box. But their rings were more delicate and matched his mate's hands. As stores went their jewelry suited Marie a lot better.

He'd splurged a bit there, finding her a watch in steel and platinum along with some dangly earrings with different colored stones. Apparently the fashion was to have an anklet, bracelet or necklace of large open chain with a Tiffany heart charm on it so he teased his girl into admitting which she liked best and grabbed one. He liked their platinum combs too; they almost matched the pearly white streak in her hair.

She'd tried to argue that he was spending too much money on her and that she didn't need a ton of jewelry. But then he'd steered her towards the engagement rings and the discussion with the clerk distracted her. The engagement ring ended up being a little unusual, the diamond flanked by deep green emeralds on either side of it. But the clerk had promised the wedding band could be made to match.

He hadn't wanted to wait, sliding the ring onto her finger right in the store. "Promise you, won't ever leave you alone in this world Marie." Wolverine had growled the words. "I'll marry you tomorrow if you say. Long's you'll be mine."

"Aw sugar, I've always been yours. It's been everybody else that hasn't caught on." Her smile had been for him and him alone. At that point he hadn't been able to resist kissing her and it had only been the amusement of the clerk that had drawn him away from Beautiful and her sweet mouth.

It had been late when they'd arrived back at the mansion. But she'd slid across the bench and leaned against him for the entire drive. They'd sat in the car and kissed for a while, necking like teenagers until reality intruded.

* * *

_Author's Note: So a little bit of fluff and some bad to go along with the good. I always got the impression that Xavier didn't quite trust Rogue to not turn on them because of all the foreign entities in her brain. And I didn't think finding out all at once that she had more than a few of their enemies in her head would be something Xavier could overlook. However serene and wise he acts, now and then he's going to screw up and his first instinct is always going to be protecting 'his children'._

_So to lighten that up I really wanted Wolverine/Logan to be fairly outraged over his own behavior and determined to do something to correct it. Plus I just liked the contrast of big tough Logan taking Marie around to Cartier's and Tiffany's in his jeans and boots with a Black Amex in his pocket. Talk about not judging a book by its cover._

_Anyway, hope you like it. The next chapter needs some editing but should be up in a few more days I think. Tell me what you think! I'm curious to hear!_


	20. 20 summer has come and passed

_Chapter 20)_

Reality took the form of Polyphemus who seemed to think he was required to keep track of every automobile in the garage. Wolverine wasn't thrilled with the car door being pulled open and Marie being jerked away from him in an unceremonious fashion. He was even less thrilled when Marie's scent charged with fear.

The growl he let out had the advantage of momentarily stunning Poly. His claws didn't do the car any good but he managed to burst out of the vehicle on Marie's heels.

In a move that might seem wise at first but verged on suicidal the X-Man held Marie in front of him. "Let her go," Wolverine growled. The way the jackass with red specs was holding her was a bit too much like a shield for his liking.

"Not until you calm down Wolverine." Poly retorted. "She's not in any danger from me." It was clear he believed that but also obvious to any Feral that Marie was terrified. Her eyes were staring straight ahead as if she wasn't seeing anything. Her breathing was erratic, and her heartrate had spiked dangerously.

"You scared her into a panic attack you moron!" He snarled the words out and moved a step closer. "Now let go of her and if you want a fight I'll fuckin' give you one. I heard about how you treated her. You got no right to touch her like that."

Marie was struggling now, her breathing coming faster and faster and tears streaking down her cheeks in her panic. A low keening moan, the sound of a wounded animal rose in her throat and savaged the heart of the Wolverine. It was pure, polarizing, horrifying agony. That sound and the scent of her fear was going to drive him mad, most likely in the form of attacking the jackass holding her. As it was his growls were so constant that his words were coming out in a near roar.

"What in the bloody blue blazes is going on here?" Rescue came in the unlikely form of Red, Cutie and Cookie Monster with Cookie bellowing his outraged question.

"Scott release Rogue at once!" Red's voice came on the heels of Cookie Monster's and was backed up with a mental slap that even Wolverine could feel the echoes of.

Marie whimpered and he guessed she'd felt it too but she made a beeline for his arms when Polyphemus reluctantly let her go. The car dipped under the weight of his skeleton but it gave him a bit of a lap to hold her on while he tried to soothe her.

"Scott go inside," Red ordered. Wolverine could almost hear the whip cracking. "Angelica, would you inform the Professor that Logan and Rogue have returned? And that their errand apparently had nothing to do with whatever he feared?"

Cookie Monster was approaching them carefully, his large fuzzy form slow and his gaze indirect. He clearly was trying to not provoke Wolverine into an attack. His voice was low and gentle. "Wolverine, in order to slow her panicked breathing, put a hand on her ribs and gently press. Help her regain a healthy rhythm."

It was easy to forget the man was a medical doctor as well as a genius in other fields. When Marie's breathing eased somewhat Red moved closer and gently touched the dark haired woman's skull. "It's all right. You're safe with Logan. No one will hurt you here. Hank and Logan and I won't let anyone touch you like that again." For such a chilly woman Red could be very soothing and comforting when she wanted to be.

It took what was probably an hour but eventually Beautiful calmed enough to feel embarrassed about her reaction to what had happened. Cookie Monster merely gave her a pat on the back and informed them that he and Ro would be in their room should he be needed further.

Red, however, stayed until Marie was on her feet and helped her retrieve her purse and its belongings from the car. Wolverine let her do whatever it was women did while they put the spilled things back in the purse while he retrieved the bags from the trunk.

* * *

She had no idea what had happened. She'd gone from kissing Logan to a hard hand on her shoulder jerking her backwards.

Then it was all white coats and needles, steel tables and manacles holding her down while she was unable to even scream. White light, grey walls and the smell of damp concrete invaded her senses while the cologne one of the scientists wore made her want to throw up. And the pain…

Injections followed by seizures, scalpels and spreaders pushed into her flesh and what felt like boiling water seared her muscles down to the bone.

And she still couldn't scream.

* * *

A mental slap to her frontal lobe gave her a sense of reality again. It felt like her lungs wouldn't work and every part of her body ached but she could see Logan and even if she stumbled a bit, his strong arms grabbed her close and held her against his body. That was more reassuring than anything else.

She could feel Hank, hear his concerned voice, and Logan's growl was a low reassuring rumble in her ears. Her breathing eased, and some of the white light faded from her vision. The shadows didn't seem to be made of screams and terror but it was still difficult to separate reality from memory.

Jean's hand was gentle as it touched her, her voice slow and cool, like fresh water in her ears. The words were soft, reassuring, gently reinforced with a delicate and supportive mental touch. It helped clear her mind of the memory, helped her come back to her physical location.

She still ached and felt as if she was shaking but by the time Jean had removed her hand and Hank had patted her on the back she could stand again.

"Let's get your purse and your things." Jean was calm and matter of fact as she leaned forward to pick up Rogue's keys and sundries that had fallen on the floorboards. Rogue watched bemused as Jean used a touch of her telekinesis to retrieve anything that had bounced under the seat. "Been shopping?"

"We…went to New York." Rogue murmured as she pushed her wallet back into its pocket and her keys where they belonged. Her lipstick and mirror along with the little box of mints and her other box with emergency medicine were tucked away when Wolverine rounded the trunk and slipped an arm around her waist. His other hand held the shop bags.

"Couldn't believe I'd left her alone here," Wolverine was still very golden eyed and possessive. He nuzzled her neck with his mouth and took a deep breath against her skin. She could feel him trying to calm his more aggressive side. "Tags ain't enough to show she's mine. Wanted to get a ring on her finger 'fore another day went past."

Jean blinked, looked at him and then looked at Rogue's left hand. Her serene expression split into a wide grin, mischief and pleasure warring in her eyes. "Well done Logan." She leaned forward to kiss Rogue's forehead. "And thank you, Marie, for helping me. I doubt Scott and Charles would be alive if you hadn't."

Rogue was pretty sure she wasn't showing to advantage tonight. "How'd you… I mean I never—"

"How did I know your name?" Jean smiled gently. "You were so careful when you took down the block in my mind you didn't realize that we were… well, mind melded, to use the Star Trek term. You were able to work on my mind and I saw yours. I don't think you would have been able to help me if you hadn't let me in like that."

"Shit." Rogue groaned. "Damn, I'm so sorry Jean. That musta been like a circus in your head."

"No, honestly not. Maybe you don't realize, but when you were…fixing the block? Let's say fixing," Jean decided with a smile, "When you were doing that, your mind wasn't divided. You were a cohesive unit, one whole entity, rather than yourself and all the other mutants that live within your mind. Because you took control."

"I wonder why it's not like that alla the time?" Rogue leaned against Logan and sighed tiredly.

"You need to rest," Jean observed. "But at a guess, I'd say it's because you don't feel the need to exert that control all the time. You're fine with the way you are." She smiled and that red headed mischief shone through her face. "And it keeps snoops like us telepaths out."

"Bet when you're fightin', when you're usin' the mutations you got that you're easier to read," Logan rumbled. "You'd be in control then too."

"You get some rest," Doctor Jean Grey was taking over and she frowned thoughtfully. "I'll tell the Professor that you need some sleep before any more meetings take place. On the heels of a panic attack is no time to have a stressful conversation. Logan you should take her up to your room and make her lie down."

"On it." Wolverine looped the shopping bags over his forearm and scooped her into his arms. "You just relax Beautiful. I'm gonna take good care of you."

* * *

He hadn't been joking. Wolverine carried her up to their room, very gently set her on the bed and unceremoniously dumped the bags on the bureau before he grabbed one of his teeshirts out of the drawer. "Cmere darlin'," He helped her out of her jacket, tugged off her heels and unbuttoned her jeans.

Rogue had a moment of bemused surprise that he wasn't simply cutting her clothing off of her but then he was aware that all of her worldly belongings fit into one bag. Presumably he didn't want to destroy anything she valued. So her jeans were tugged down her still trembling legs and her silk tunic gently removed.

By the time he got to her jewelry she was trembling violently and adamantium claws shredded her underwear and his own clothing in his hurry to comfort her. The new pearls were dropped onto the bedside table, the quilt yanked back and she was tucked under the covers with him before her mind caught up to what he was doing.

Strong warm hands were rubbing over her bare back, heedless of any scars they encountered while Wolverine muttered gruff reassurances into her hair. His skin was warm, pressed to her body, his legs tangled with hers and it felt as if he was the only thing holding her to the earth.

"Head, hurts," She managed to whisper. It was pounding, the throbbing of blood in her veins a terrible tempo that seemed to increase to the point of madness. Everything hurt; she could feel every muscle, as if electric shocks were flooding her body. "What's wrong with me?"

"Dunno." But she could feel his worry.

The last thing she heard was him calling her name, his voice more and more frantic even as it faded out of her hearing into darkness.

* * *

"Whadda ya mean no one gave her a physical?" Wolverine was growling. She could feel his fury, outrage fueling his protective nature. Fatigue and pain sapped her brain, she could only listen, even the attempt to move her lips resulted in exhaustion washing over her in a wave of soothing darkness.

* * *

His hand was on her arm. Strong, gentle on her tender skin. His fingers were threading through hers now, palm to palm. She could feel Wolverine's determination, his warmth and his breath near her hair. His voice was low, rough and careful, as if he feared waking her before she was ready.

"What were they tryin' to do? Make another me?"

Hank's voice was filled with repressed rage but he still managed to maintain his customary elegant tones. "From the readings I've gathered, it seems as if they were trying to recreate your skeleton by fusing Osmium with Carbonadium. Her skeleton is coated like yours." Confusion filled his voice and a gentle furred hand rubbed her shoulder, fingering the raised line of a scar. "But she isn't Feral like you or I. She wasn't born with a healing factor. Hence the scars. How did they do it without killing her?"

It was too much to think about now. Memories were swarming under her eyelids again. Sleep was the only escape.

* * *

"I don't care if you throw us both out!" He was shouting again, unable to contain his rage at whatever the other person had said. "You're not putting her in one of your boxes to study."

"I wasn't suggesting any such thing." It was the Professor. He'd been angry with her because of the mutants in her head. The mutants from the lab. Why had he been so angry? What had she done? He sounded so condescending as if Wolverine couldn't comprehend what he was saying. "But we need to observe her behavior for a time. We need to be certain that Rogue is who she says she is. After all, she absorbed Mystique, Magneto, Psylocke and all those others. You have no way of knowing whether or not the 'Rogue' personality is only a mask for another mutant."

"Wheels if you don't stop talking about my mate like she's a puppet in the hands of an evil mastermind I'm gonna forget that you've helped me and just see how good your blood smells." The threat would have been obvious in Logan's tone if not his words. "Maybe you forgot. But I ain't the guy you can kick around and send away because you don't understand how things are."

"I am trying to protect the children under this roof. I must protect my children from any threat." Xavier was plainly attempting to be reasonable but his reason meant nothing to a protective Feral. "Rogue has not harmed anyone deliberately in the past and that certainly counts in her favor. But the plain facts are we don't know who she is. We don't know where she's come from. We know nothing about her but what she's said and those could be lies."

"Oh Professor," Jean's voice was calm even in its disappointment. So soothing. Sweet cool water contrasting with the wonderful rumbling of Wolverine's voice. "It was less than a month ago you were thanking Rogue for helping me. She saved your life, mine and Scott's. If you can't trust her then trust me." A gentle hand rested lightly on Rogue's wrist. "She healed me Professor. She healed me when even you couldn't. She bought me time to learn control. And in doing that...she let me into her mind."

"Let you into-" The Professor nearly stuttered as the implications of Jean's words hit him. "Her mind is open to you? Scan her then, find out-"

"No Charles." Jean refused him firmly but politely. "Her mind was open _then_. I saw exactly who she is, what she's been through. Every memory she had at that time. Just as she saw me. But now...Rogue isn't in control. The carnival in her brain is back."

It was time for her to try and speak again. Even if she fell asleep halfway through she could try. If only to reassure Wolverine that she was going to be all right sooner or later. "Jimmy." She whispered and forced her eyes open to see his shocked gaze. "James..."

His hands were instantly cupping her face, his eyes staring down into her drooping gaze. "Darlin'? Beautiful, c'mon." Hope, frantic and hot, filled his voice and she tried to smile.

"So tired." Rogue took a deep breath. "Memories... He called you Jimmy. Loves you." She tried to take another breath and started coughing at the dryness in her throat. "Remembered blood, needles. Seizures." His face was desperate for her to stay away and she tried but her eyes began to slide shut. "Love you, Wolver..."

* * *

For the first time her ears felt clear. Her mind wasn't filled with cotton and dandelion seeds but she ached as if she'd been having seizures or a month long bout of the flu. Trying to move her head resulted in a lightening spear of pain down her spine.

Not again! Not another one. She struggled but her body refused to move. Any moment the needles would start. Then the teeth clenching seizures and finally the surgical instruments splitting her flesh open. She opened her mouth to scream but it was filled with rubber and plastic. The gag kept her from biting off her tongue or breaking her teeth but it also kept her from biting at the fingers that probed her mouth and jabbed at her gums with sharp implements.

Those awful eyes, winter grey over the blue surgeon's mask peered down at her. "Yes, I think our little Rogue is just about ready. Make certain the first is standing by immediately after the surgery. I don't want any lag between the procedure and the absorption. Between the two we'll have her under control."

His face moved closer and his eyes crinkled as he smiled beneath the mask. "You're going to be the most exquisite of my creations Rogue dear. I'm so proud of you."

She couldn't stop the scream that tried to burst from her throat.

* * *

He'd been through a lot of wars. It felt like most of his life had been spent in one battle or another. The stench of mud, sweat, blood and shit that pervaded a battlefield even in the most modern age was as unfortunately familiar to him as compost was to a gardener. Adrenaline, fatigue, exhilaration and fear combined with fury and the clench of muscles as determination drove soldiers forward. The superficial sounds of battle changed, from the clash of swords to the sharp crack of bullets, then to the roar of cannon which evolved into the scream of bombs through the air and the rupture of earth and flesh as they impacted.

But the sounds of men, the panting, cursing and shouting of soldiers in battle was always the same. The blood curdling screams of agony, the wails of the dying and the gasping last breaths of those who were too far gone to weep...never altered.

Injury. It was such a clean sounding word. Like war was a short, to the point, word but wars were long, ugly, terrible and, so often, pointless. Battle sounded almost honorable and never seemed to describe the mud, the smoke and noise. And injury... Damage or harm done to or suffered by a person or thing, campaign. A particular form of hurt, damage, or loss. It didn't come near to explaining the blood, the smell and feel of it. The sight of flesh torn open by metal or fire. The bones that protruded from flesh, broken or crushed. The jagged wounds that left scars on the body, mind and heart.

The aftermath seemed unending but it was the aftermath that always gave him hope. For every death, for every soldier hurt, there was always a medic. For every ghastly wound a surgeon who tried his or her damndest to heal the injured. He fought because he knew no other life, because he valued his freedom and because a Feral needed blood, needed to fight or hunt else madness would set in. There was a difference after all between Feral and rabid. And a fine line between the two.

Still, over the years he'd learned a lot about what the medics, nurses and doctors did. Battalion aid, field medics and mobile hospital units had been constant haunts of his as he watched over his fellow soldiers. It had been Victor who'd told him he might as well try to learn from the doctors. Victor didn't have the knack for stitching wounds closed. But he'd been ready to make sure his little brother learned if he wanted.

Funny how with the advent of duct tape Victor's bandaging abilities had improved. He'd never be great with needle and thread but give him tape or glue and he'd keep a man from bleeding to death. He looked at the picture Tin Man had drawn and hoped that his big brother hadn't lost himself in the years he'd been captive.

For all that he'd been furious with him about Kayla, for all Vic's jealousy and wrong headedness, Logan couldn't forget that Victor had nearly died protecting him. He needed his little brother and Logan had abandoned him when he hadn't understood that Victor was dancing on that line between Feral and rabid.

Maybe if he hadn't lost his memory he wouldn't have seen it. But now he had...

Marie's breath caught in her sleep and he heard her heart rate triple before the monitor started beeping. Red and Cookie jerked out of their chairs while Torch and Cutie raced into the room.

The most horrific scream he'd heard in his life tore out of Marie's mouth. Before either doctor could touch her Wolverine grabbed her by the shoulders and roared loudly into her face. The sheer volume of the sound woke her and her green eyes were startled. Even stranger was the sensation from his hands, as if his strength was fading out of him.

"Wolverine, let go!" Torch shouted in his ear. Cutie was trying to pull him back while Cookie Monster took his other side. It was Torch that got through to him though, continuing to shout. "Her mutation musta clicked on. You gotta let go for her to turn it off!"

His grip loosened and the other two were able to pull him away from his woman. She was wide awake now, panting in the aftermath of the nightmare and whatever her mutation had done to him. Those gorgeous emerald eyes were huge and terrified as he slumped tiredly into his chair again. Red cast a quick glance at him, rolled her eyes and then gently put her palm on Marie's hair. A safe touch apparently. "Rogue, just relax and take a deep breath. Remember? Let it float...and then sink. That's right...you've got it."

Cutie handed him a glass of orange juice and he gave her a look to ask if she was kidding. Torch just chuckled and told him, "It helps. Rogue's mutation feels like giving blood."

"Then gimme a cookie too." He rumbled at the two kids and sipped at the juice. It always tasted so acidic and sweet to his mouth. He wasn't sure how anyone managed to drink the stuff.

"I'll make ya a whole batch a peanut butter cookies sugar." Marie's voice was still trembling. "You okay?"

"I'm a grown man. If I can't handle a little jolt like that got no business callin' myself Wolverine." He grumbled. Why was everyone so damn concerned about him? "You okay darlin'? That was a helluva wake up."

"Nightmares." Was the answer and he nodded.

"Wanna talk about it?" He'd hate it sure, he'd never liked touchy feeling conversations for all that he was better at them than Victor. But for Marie? He'd make an effort. And he got the feeling that her time in the lab was worse than his. He'd at least volunteered. Even if he had been manipulated into it.

"Not particularly, but since the nightmares are because some of my memories are...well they're...coming unrepressed I'd probably better." She looked sick at the thought. "I...remembered, or thought that I'd remembered, a lot of what had happened to me in the lab. Enough to...well...to think..."

"You thought it was over," Torch nodded his understanding and pulled up a chair. Following his example everyone else found a seat. Logan abandoned his chair, and the annoying juice, to sit behind Marie on the bed. She leaned back against his chest and sighed tiredly. Cutie perched by Marie's feet, Cookie took Logan's old chair and Red took a stool at the foot of the bed. An outstretched hand was rewarded with a clipboard and notepad flying into it.

"I'll take notes. Between Hank and I, hopefully Charles won't make you go over it again," The red headed doctor explained with a half smile.

"Thank you," Marie smiled and Wolverine rubbed his chin on her silky hair. "I...told you everything I'd remembered before. Angelica I know you told John since he wasn't in the meeting. So you're all up to speed." She looked at Cookie Monster and indicated her scars. "Until Scott grabbed me, I didn't know how I'd gotten these scars."

"The panic attack he triggered," Red murmured. "I thought I'd sensed... It was a flashback?"

"Yes." Logan growled at Marie's answer. If it was the last thing he did he was going to gut whoever had done this to his mate. Marie's hand found his hand on her waist and covered the back of it with her palm. He could feel the warm metal of her ring against his skin and that alone reminded him that she was his and safe in his arms. He would never let anyone hurt her again.

"I remembered seizures," she continued softly. "I was injected with what I think was blood. The seizures could be a reaction to it. And then...the scars...they're from being cut open. They put something...spreaders I think they're called...to hold me open." Marie shuddered in his arms and though he couldn't see them he could smell the salt of her tears at the memories of the pain. "The next sensation was like boiling water being poured on an open wound. I don't know what it was...but every time it made me pass out afterwards."

Cookie Monster was exchanging a glance with Red and it was the blue Feral who offered the explanation. "Adamantium is what coats Wolverine's bones. It's very costly and very rare. Carbonadium is...well, simply put, it is a poor man's adamantium. I believe that the lab workers were trying to mix carbonadium with osmium. What is a mystery to me is how they fused it to your bones without killing you."

"Bet it's why Victor is in the lab." Wolverine offered the words heavily. "Dunno what happened to Vic after I lost my memory. For all I know Stryker got him again. Or someone else. But he's Feral like me. And if they made him touch Beautiful she coulda absorbed his mutation. It mighta kept you alive darlin'." He held her closer unable to resist the feel of her body leaning back so trustingly against his. The thought of having never met her was nothing he wanted to contemplate. For that if nothing else he owed Victor a clean slate.

"Maybe it was Sabretooth's blood," Cutie offered that idea. "The blood might have worked to get his mutation into you without you absorbing his memories or Feral nature." She patted Marie's foot under the cotton blanket. "If you weren't the same blood type that coulda caused the bad reaction."

"It's possible." Cookie Monster took a deep breath. "In the mean time, Rogue you scared all of us quite a bit. For our sakes, I'd appreciate it if you'd rest for the remainder of the day? I know you don't like the infirmary. Perhaps in the gardens? Or one of the lounges? Somewhere Jean or I can check on you, for our own peace of mind."

That was something that Wolverine could get behind. He nodded and tilted Marie's head back a little so he could see her. "Quick stop in our room for some clothes and then we can sit in Blanca's garden. You could use some sun darlin', an' fresh air."

* * *

_Author's Note: So that was what I mean by reality intruding. The one thing that struck me about some of the X-men was that they could be very self righteous and also very much inclined to thinking that their way was the only right way. They're not like that all the time but occasionally their initial reactions are not...as ideal as they could be._

_I've noticed that people who follow the rules all the time aren't very understanding or forgiving of people who aren't easily categorized. To me that explained Scott's problem with Logan and to an extent Rogue in this story. She's not staying in the box like he expects of her and he's not coping with it well._

_And all this craziness is leading somewhere... because I have an actual plan... Shocking right?_

_So please tell me what you think. There's a convenient place to do so at the bottom of the page. And thanks for reading. _


	21. 21 the innocent can never last

_Chapter 21)_

The quick stop ended up taking a half an hour because Beautiful insisted on a shower. When she found out she'd been in the infirmary for a day and a half she'd been real insistent. It was the first time he'd ever, in his memory at least, watched a woman shower and been more worried about her keeling over than he was about getting laid.

So he spent twenty minutes pacing through the bathroom ready to catch her if she started to feel woozy and dizzy while she scrubbed and shampooed. Then when he thought he could take a breath she started to towel off. That gave him all sortsa thoughts that would only get him in trouble. That gorgeous body all warm and damp smelled so good and the steam in the bathroom only increased her allure.

"Sugar are you all right?" Marie had a towel wrapped around her body and was pulling a comb through her wet hair.

"Darlin', sit down to do that an' let me catch my breath." He suggested as he opened the bathroom door. Those legs were going to kill him.

His woman was looking at him as if he'd lost his mind but she obligingly sat down on the edge of the counter to comb her hair. Deep breaths, he told himself. Just take deep breaths and chill the fuck out. Figure out what you can use for her to sit on outside.

An old army blanket from the back of his closet and he was out of things to occupy himself. Marie was looking through her bag and pulling out underwear and clothing. The towel started to slip and he groaned as she caught it. He wasn't sure if the thing was shrinking or if he was losing his mind.

"Sugar, you sure you're all right?" Her pretty mouth drew down as he growled. Her soft hand touching his cheek was the last straw and he reached for her. The towel disappeared as he pulled her into his lap and pressed his mouth to her collarbone.

The feel of her, even through his clothes, was perfection. It was all he could do to not grope and squeeze all that white flesh. She was relaxed against him, her muscles loose and her body soft as he rested his forehead against her shoulder and tried to breathe. "Darlin'...I get it. God knows I get it. But sometimes I feel like if I can't have you I'll go insane." He admitted with a sigh. "Dunno how it is for you, but in my memory, we haven't been together yet. I know you, but I don't."

"Oh sugar." She was pressing kisses to the top of his head, her hands stroking through his hair and down his back. "I'm sorry...I guess I wasn't thinkin' a that. I just..." Beautiful cupped his face in her hands and looked down at him. "I...froze up when you put me in a certain position once. I sometimes need to be in control because I never was before. And I have to go so slow if you ever want me to use my mouth..." Marie's voice went lower than usual, "I just don't wanna disappoint you. I know you're used to women who can handle themselves. You don't remember havin' to deal with me and how screwed up I was."

"Why the fuck..." He caught himself before he continued to voice that train of thought and dragged her down for a hot fast kiss. "You think I'm like this 'cause we ain't had sex yet?" Her bewildered eyes told him that was her line of thinking. "Fuckin' Christ on a crutch Marie, I've got a hand don't I? I can handle a dry spell fine. I've been goin' nuts because I couldn't touch you. Couldn't lie next to you and kiss you or do anything to protect you. I don't do helpless very well darlin'."

"But you said..." She was looking even more confused.

"I know." He sighed and shook his head. "Ferals...our mates... we mark 'em with our scent, with sex or skin to skin contact. Sex lasts longer, long as my seed's alive inside you. But this...me holdin' you? It'll keep me from killin' any guy goes near you. My scent on you...warns off any other Feral don't wanna die if he touches you."

"And you had ta watch Hank touch and take samples an' all." Marie was starting to understand. "Why didn't you just tell me you needed to touch my skin? I woulda..." She blushed and he couldn't believe how charmed he was by her sweet chagrined expression or the scent of hot blood in her cheeks. "Well I woulda told you to get in the shower with me. Or we coulda just lie in bed for a while."

"Don't get me wrong, I wanna have sex with you darlin'." He leered at her teasingly and she giggled, still a bit embarrassed but pleased too from her expression. "I want to feel you all around me. But Mate means more than sex baby." He tilted his head and frowned, "I've called you that before."

"You sure have sugar." She was teasing him now. "About five times a day at least."

"No, I mean..." He frowned, trying to chase down the memory. He'd been standing in one of the mansion hallways outside a door, waiting. "I was waitin' for you." Wolverine looked up at her beautiful face and cupped her cheek in his hand. "I said I'd been waitin' six years." He frowned, trying to remember. She'd literally flown into his arms. He'd been so desperate for her he'd nearly taken her against the wall, pressed between oak wainscoting and his body. He'd caged her in his arms and it still hadn't been enough. "Why the fuck didn't I kiss you?" He growled at his own idiocy. "I was so damn desperate for you I woulda begged. You coulda made me crawl. But you didn't."

"You were gonna." She kissed his palm and smiled at him. "We got interrupted." Her emerald eyes sparkled down at him. "You could kiss me now."

"Yeah," He tumbled her down onto the bed and covered her with his body. He was so hard it felt obscene to lie between her thighs and not do something to please her. Her mouth under his own was perfection, sweet and hot, moaning into his mouth.

Marie's hand pushed down between their bodies and flicked his jeans open giving him some relief from the pressure of the fabric. Careful fingers wrapped around his cock and he groaned. Her other hand moved minutely and he felt his jeans open even more. "Marie." He growled her name out and felt her smile under his lips. "Don't."

"I'm...sorry sugar..." Her body froze under his and he cursed himself.

"Ain't what I meant." Wolverine snarled and lifted himself off of her to shuck off his boots, jeans and shirt. He knelt on the bed beside her and then carefully pushed her knees apart. "Meant that I don't go without you."

"What're you doin' sugar." God she sounded nervous. Had he never done this with her? Had he turned into a completely inconsiderate jackass or something? First he let someone cut off his balls and send him away from his mate and then when he got back he didn't even... He growled and decided that no way in hell would he ever let himself get that far gone again.

"Was I that much of a jackass baby?" He muttered and bent to kiss her again. "Didn't I ever take care of you? I'm sorry darlin'. Gonna take care of you now. Promise." Her skin tasted so good under his mouth as he sucked and nipped his way down her body. By the time he reached them, her curls were soaked and he moaned at the scent of her arousal.

The taste of her was beyond his imagining. Hot and perfect on his tongue as he licked and sucked on her nether lips and groaned into her body over how good she was. He'd never had a woman be so responsive to the slightest touch. Her clit was engorged and so sensitive that she whimpered as his tongue flickered against it. "Oh baby, it'll be so good." He promised as he laved the oversensitive bud of flesh with the flat of his tongue. Her moans were so perfect, rising in pitch, panting as her body strained up to his.

She was shuddering and quivering under him, unable to keep still and he grabbed that sweet ass, curved his thumbs to the apex of her thighs and kept her beneath his mouth. When he surrounded her clit with his lips and gently suckled she flew apart beneath him with a strangled sob of his name and a warm flood of moisture as she shuddered.

Now he knew she was ready for him, she'd be able to take him without any pain. Wolverine knew he was smirking his satisfaction but he couldn't seem to help it. She was still trembling, shivering as he lay beside her and put his mouth to her neck and breasts. Her hands reached for his cock and he groaned as she gave him a good hard pull. She was urging him to fuck her, promising him that she needed him inside of her.

He groaned and cursed his conscience. Sure now she wanted to have sex, an orgasm would do that, not that he blamed her. But she'd been worried before. He didn't know what he'd been like with her before, but damned if he was going to take advantage of his mate. When he put his hand against her curls and slid his fingers between her lips she stilled and her eyes flew open to look at him in surprise.

"Told ya baby," Wolverine grinned at her. "I'm gonna take care of you." He pushed two fingers inside of her and watched her eyes almost roll back in her head. He looked at her free hand and nodded. "Why don't you show me how it's done Marie? You've already got me ready to go. I'll end up shooting all over you if you handle me much more." He wanted to see her, wanted her to know that she was beautiful to him.

As he watched his mate's slender fingers crept almost shyly down to her clit and began to stroke her flesh. He could feel her body tighten around his fingers and decided some movement was definitely necessary. When his fingertips pressed deeper inside her she shuddered and his name came out in a hot gasp.

When they found a rhythm she was moaning and panting, undulating her hips to meet his fingers as he rubbed them deep inside her body. She was so damn tight, so hot, he couldn't wait to get his cock inside her, feel all that perfect damp heat surrounding him. But what she said when she wasn't in the throes was more important than anything she might beg for in her need. So he'd wait and she'd wait until they could get it right together. Watching and feeling her like this was no hardship.

He'd never seen anyone so beautiful. His gorgeous mate, fucking herself on his hand, frigging her clit, and moaning his name. Her breasts were swollen and the peaks tight and flushed with blood. He couldn't help himself, bent to suck on those pretty tits and groaned as she nearly screamed at the excess of sensation. Long slow pulls into his mouth, licking those pretty buds and feeling her body tighten around his fingers; it was going to drive him crazy.

He'd always had a filthy mouth, but with Marie it was tempered some. He couldn't make himself call his mate dirty names or tell her to suck his cock hard. He didn't know what all they'd done to her in that lab anyway. But he could tell her how much he loved to see her like this. How perfect she was. How unbelievably sexy he found her as she ground herself down onto his hand.

Her moan rose to a scream as her body finally snapped and convulsed, bucking against his chest as he held her against him. Her hand tightened convulsively on his cock and he groaned as Marie stroked him harder. Another push of his fingers deep inside her, finding that sweet spot and pressing and she screamed again and her hand grew rougher. It felt too good, impossible that a hand job could feel so good, but there he was. Groaning and coming over her belly like a dumb kid, gasping into her hair and holding her so tightly she'd have bruises on her ass from his fingers.

She was trembling, her hair still damp and wild around her shoulders and he carefully slid his fingers out of her and covered her body with his to warm her. "God darlin'," He pressed his mouth to her neck and kissed her pulse point. "Love how you taste."

"Sugar you didn't hafta do that," She murmured into his shoulder.

"Wanted to." He grinned lecherously down at her. "Had any sense I'd a done that before. Shown you that not all men are like those...pigs at the lab."

"You have done that before." Marie told him. "I keep tellin' you that you don't gotta."

"Baby don't you like it?" Wolverine pushed himself up on one elbow and stared down at her curiously. He knew some women didn't. They thought it gave the man too much power, it was too intimate, or it was dirty...there were a thousand hang ups that he didn't give a damn about.

"I'd have to be dead to not like it." She rolled her eyes at him. "But you don't hafta do that. I love you even if you don't."

"What you think it's like...some sorta payment?" He would never understand women. Not ever in a million years.

"No..." She clearly didn't understand why a man would enjoy that. At least that was one type of rape they hadn't inflicted upon her in that damn lab. It messed you up even more if they made you like what they were doing, as if it made you complicit somehow. He could be grateful for that one thing, if nothing else, about that fucked up place.

"Marie, I love doing that. I love the taste of you, how you feel on my tongue." He kissed her gently. "To do that for my mate, know that you're mine, that it's me you want between your thighs... Pleasin' you... God it feels good to see and feel and taste you like that. Goin' wild under my mouth. I take care of my mate." He tilted his head, "You said you tried givin' me a blow job. Did you like it? I mean when you weren't nervous. Did you like doin' that for me? Makin' me want you until I was ready to burst?"

"In a way yes..." She was clearly trying to figure out what she'd felt. So however stupid he'd been, he'd at least been smart enough to not make a huge deal out of anything she did or didn't like. "I liked being able to touch you. You reacted...like I was doin' somethin'...amazing even though I wasn't really that experienced."

"They used your mouth in that fuckin' lab, made you wear a gag?" He surmised and got a flash of memory again, Marie on her knees between his thighs. Skittish and careful but lavishing him with attention. Slow and sweet and so gentle with him.

"Yeah...I...have to go real slow or I get spooked..." She admitted softly.

"But you cared enough to try though." He was hard again just thinking about his beautiful little mate, trying to overcome her fears in order to please him. "You feel how fuckin' hard you get me? Just from talkin' about you bein' willing to try that? It ain't that you'd suck my cock baby. It's that it scares you but you still love me enough to fuckin' try."

"I had a lotta therapy in six years sugar." Her voice was dry but still sweet and she sighed against his skin. "Is it wrong that I just wanna stay in bed and cuddle with you?"

"No," Wolverine couldn't help chuckling. "But we've been up here for at least forty minutes and we're gonna scare Cookie and Red."

Her grumble was decidedly rude in content but she sighed in resignation. A damp towel cleaned up the sticky mess they'd made and he hunted up clean clothes while Marie looked at her hair and muttered dire imprecations.

She finally wound her hair back into a tail and pulled on a pair of jeans and teeshirt. Logan looked at the pearls still on the nightstand and hunted up their box while Marie made another face at herself in the mirror. "C'mon darlin', you look gorgeous." He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"I look like I just got tumbled sugar." She rolled her eyes at him and he couldn't help chuckling.

"Beautiful." He set his teeth on her neck and bit down gently. Her shiver made him groan, his plan backfiring. "And if we don't get outa this room I'm gonna really lose it and put you right back onto that bed."

"Hmm..." She sighed and nodded. "Want me to wear some of the jewelry you got me? If you liked you could have your tags back."

"I like the tags on you better than I ever did 'em on me," Wolverine admitted with a grin. "But here." He fished out the Tiffany tag necklace. "Try this one."

"If you keep buying me stuff I'm going to need another go bag for the jewelry." She teased him as she wrapped the necklace around her throat.

"Yeah, was thinkin' some about that." He pressed another kiss to her skin and grabbed the army blanket he'd tossed on the chair. "C'mon let's get you some sun."

* * *

He'd spread the army blanket over the grass and settled her onto it carefully. Rogue smiled as she remembered how much he'd worried during their descent of the stairs. He'd practically held his arms out to catch her if she fell.

But they were now settled on a nice grassy patch in one of the gardens Ro cheerfully claimed as hers. There was sunlight and then shade trees so the sun wasn't so bright as to be annoying and wonderful flowery smells. "Hmm…let's just live here." She muttered and pushed off her shoes. She'd lost more pairs of cheap tennis shoes by doing that. They were always the same, white things that dirtied up in a half minute and never came clean again no matter how many times you threw them in the washer with bleach. Her momma had called them Walmart specials, cheaper than Keds and tough enough to last a summer at least.

"Why'd you bother puttin' the shoes on anyway?" He sat down and used the tree near them as a backrest so his legs stretched under hers. He'd put on his old jeans, a teeshirt and his old boots. She supposed it was the soldier in him, always wanting to protect his feet. But she loved that about him, even when she hadn't known for certain that he'd been a soldier there'd been hints. He was orderly, for all that everyone thought he was chaotic and wild. He took care of his belongings and made the bed every morning unless she was in it.

"Habit mostly. Xavier's got rules about bein' dressed properly." She shrugged her indifference to the rules of the school. "And it took me a while to get control of my skin. So I stayed covered up. For everyone's safety."

"Yeah..." He nodded and inhaled deeply. "I get the feelin' everybody else's dress code was a lot different from yours." His scowl was beyond simple irritation. "Much as I appreciate the man's help gettin' my head straight... I don't know if I can tolerate living under his roof for long."

"What're you thinking then?" She waited knowing that he liked to take his time and choose his words carefully. Much as she needed to help people like her, people like him, she was figuring out that she didn't need to do it under Xavier's control. And she knew that Logan had been chafing at the bit for some time. They'd both needed this place once. They'd needed help. They needed to help. And because of that they'd tolerated a lot from the residents of the school.

"Dunno how you feel about it, been here a while." Wolverine said slowly. "But I'm thinkin'… Seems like Xavier's takin' an awful lot for granted. Way he was talkin' to you, like he had a right to know everythin' in your head… I didn't like that much. Figure you didn't either."

"No," She sat up so she could look at him and put her hand on his knee. He needed the comfort of touch right then. She could feel how isolated he felt at the moment, cut off from the world. "Go on sugar. I'm with you." Rogue hoped he understood she meant more than just this moment.

His eyes lit with gold and his mouth quirked up halfway and he covered her hand with his. "I was thinkin'. An' I ran it by Torch and Cutie while you were out; see how they thought you'd react. Maybe we get our own place, somewhere away from here. Doesn't have to be far. But someplace that's ours…might be good for us."

Rogue nodded and scooted closer to him so his arm could come around her shoulders. "Before we took those bullets out…you an' I, we took off sugar. Grabbed our stuff an' headed out. An' I wondered then how long it would be before you an' I lost patience with the school. We were laughin' but it was serious too. So wherever you go Wolverine, I'm with you."

"So I guess the question is do we still wanna be…X-Men? Or whatever? Or do we wanna settle down and do normal?" He slanted a curious glance down at her and she grinned.

"I don't think we could do normal if we tried Logan." Her dry tone made him chuckle, a pleasant vibration against her side as he laughed. "But I know what you mean. Maybe…consultants. Or we could have our own place, for the kids who don't fit in here. Ferals or people who scare other mutants." She suggested. "I needed this place, needed help, I'll never deny that. But I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy the way the kids treated me here. Even the teachers were afraid of me at first."

"Have to be somewhere open, but easy to defend," He mused. She could hear that he was tired, who knows how long it had been since he'd slept. "Have to see if Vic bought up any land…we get him out he'll need someplace to run."

"C'mere sugar," Rogue tugged at him, using her absorbed strength to help him move. "Lemme take care of you for a bit." When his head was pillowed on her thighs she ran her fingers through his hair and got a funny little rumble out of his chest. Wolverine's version of a purr maybe; she smiled. "What kinda house you want? Somethin' simple? Like a cabin? Farmhouse?"

"You like to cook, so wanna make sure you got a good kitchen." He murmured. "Someplace warm. Nice stone fireplace in the winter."

"Yeah?" She smiled, "Maybe like an old A-frame cabin? A bit bigger so there's room for Victor?"

"Two separate A's maybe." She liked how his voice sounded, thoughtful but relaxed. "Join 'em with the kitchen in the middle. Fireplace on each side."

"I want a tub," Rogue warned him with a smile. "None of those shower only bathrooms. A good tub that I can pull you into."

"I can do that," Logan chuckled. "Need a good closet with a jewel box for you. A gun safe and a panic room.. A basement maybe, someplace comfortable but safe in case of trouble."

"Big enough for any kids we might watch or end up with." She added softly.

"I c'n picture you, all round an' fierce," his mutter was tired but the smile on his face was genuinely pleased for all his fatigue. He turned, shifting to his side so he lay in profile to her gaze and half his face pressed to her thighs. One hand slid upwards and rested heavily on her hip as he took a deep breath. "Vic'd go nuts. Loves kids."

She watched as he slid into an exhausted slumber. Knowing him, Wolverine had been awake since she'd collapsed. He needed the sleep.

* * *

_Author's Note: So I noticed folks didn't seem overly enamored of the last chapter. It was a little choppy, deliberately so, because the aftermath of a panic attack skews perception quite a bit. And with what Marie is going through I wanted it to be a bit disjointed and strange. _

_I hope ya'll like this one a bit better and you'll have patience with me. We're getting close to our conclusion and I'm feeling fairly pleased with how this has gone so far._

_Just out of curiosity. It's my impression that Marie's skin being invulnerable protects her from bullets or stabbing...from penetrating wounds, but being thrown into a wall would have more of an effect because of the possibility of damaging her organs or causing internal bleeding. Does that make sense to the rest of you? Or do you disagree?_


End file.
